The Need To Know Classic That Is: Cacio e Pepe

When people go to Italy, the dish that usually gets the most raves is one of the easiest dishes there is to make. Cacio e pepe, literally cheese and pepper, has been pleasing people since the days of ancient Rome. To get them through a hard day's work, shepherds would bring dried pasta, some hard, salty sheep's milk cheese, and black pepper with them in order to make a filling meal. While not traditional to cacio e pepe, bacon or seafood may be added, and other shapes of pasta may be used. However you serve it, it's simple but sophisticated comfort food at its best. Consider this the dish you deserve for surviving this year of the pandemic in the year Two Thousand and Twenty.  

Ingredients

450 g pasta (spaghetti, tonnarelli traditionally)
225 g pecorino Romano, very finely grated
7 g pepper (coarsely ground)
salt
extra-virgin olive oil

1. Bring a large pot of generously salted water to boil. When the water is at a hard boil, add the pasta, then turn off the heat. Place a lid on the pot and remove it from the burner - in 15 minutes you should have perfect al dente pasta. Save at least two cups of the pasta water after draining the pasta.
2. While the pasta is cooking, heat a large pan over medium heat with enough olive oil to coat the bottom of the pan. When the oil starts to shimmer, add the pepper, and let it cook for about 20 seconds. Pour 175 mL into the pan and let it boil.
3. Add the drained pasta to the hot pan. Using tongs, toss the pasta to coat it in the peppery liquid, then sprinkle in about 80% of the cheese. Keep tossing the pasta, adding more pasta water as needed to make a creamy sauce that sticks to the pasta, tasting and adding salt as needed.
4. Once done, finish with the remaining cheese and more pepper. Serve immediately.

Bake Yourself Happy - Skuish Cookies

Cookie connaisseurs rejoice - Skuish will change how you think about baking cookies. This Ottawa-Toronto based company sells and delivers (free of charge) raw and frozen cookies. The cookies last up to three months in the freezer and can be baked straight from frozen, allowing you to quickly whip up a batch of cookies better than the ones that come from that chemically enhanced doughboy. 

Skuish cookies don't use eggs, butter, or milk in their cookie dough, which is good news for those allergic to those ingredients, and they have plant-based cookie options as well for vegan and vegetarian tastes. The chocolates used in their signature flavours contain milk, while the plant-based cookie options use chocolate without milk.  Because of their desire to make a positive impact in the communities they sell in, Skuish plans to do their part to end child hunger in Canada by donating five meals for every box sold, so no need to feel guilty for not baking from scratch. 

When the sample I was graciously sent arrived this week, I didn't expect billiard ball-sized cookie dough balls when I opened the box. Weighing in at about a quarter-pound each, I took one from each bag sent, their Classic Chocolate Chunk, White Chocolate Birthday Cake, and Resse Peanut Butter Crumble flavours.  Then it just a matter of following the instructions on the box, and soon I had three giant cookies fresh from the oven. You may have to adjust how long you keep your baked goods in the oven depending on whether you prefer your cookies soft and gooey, or crisp and crunchy, but it will be worth the wait. My favourite was the Resse Peanut Butter Crumble, which I devoured during a coffee break. If you need a last-minute gift idea for that special cookie monster in your life, or if you want to really impress Santa this year, you can't go wrong with Skuish cookies. Just be sure you have something at the ready to dunk them in.

Skuish cookies can be found on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tiktok

Pemmican - The Original Energy Bar

Dan Levy made news recently when he encouraged others to take the free Indigenous peoples course at the University of Alberta that he was enrolling in to improve his knowledge of Indigenous histories and issues in Canada. I must confess, my knowledge of this country's Native people has been lacking since high school history classes. One of the things I do remember is that one of the many things Canada's Indigenous people made from buffalo (they use every part of the animal don't-you-know) is pemmican.  From the Cree word pimikan, meaning fat or grease, pemmican is dried bison meat pounded into a coarse powder and mixed with an equal amount of melted fat, and occasionally berries. High in protein, and easy to carry, it would last for months or even years if made properly. It was the perfect food to carry during the hunting season, and soon fur traders were using it to supplement their food supplies as well. Pemmican is still made in Aboriginal communities to this day, and you can be made at home with the recipe below. It's perfect for when you tire of the taste of your regular energy bars, and you feel like making something healthy and natural.

Ingredients

910 g lean raw meat (beef; bison, venison, caribou, or moose meat, if available)

45 g berries (blueberries, cranberries, Saskatoon berries - feel free to experiment with different berries)
25 g non-hydrogenated lard
sugar (optional)

1. Assuming you don't have a food dehydrator (who does?), you will have to dry out the berries and the meat in the oven. Break the skin of the berries by either slicing or poking them to allow their juice to evaporate, then place the fruit on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet and put it in an oven pre-set to 77 degrees C. The berries will be done when they’re completely dry with no juice left in them, so keep an eye on them,  and remove them from the oven when they are done.
2. Chill the meat you plan to use in the freezer for an hour, then cut it into strips, going against the grain. Place the strips on another baking sheet lined with parchment paper, then place it in the oven already set at a low temperature. It may take up to 12 hours for the meat to fully dry depending on how thick it is, so plan accordingly. You'll know the meat is ready when it’s dry but still pliable.
   
   NOTE: Don't substitute beef jerky to save time, as it will taste awful and it defeats the purpose of making pemmican - the Indigenous did not have access to nitrates.
   
   
3. Once the meat is ready, grind it into a powder with a food processor or, for a more authentic feel, a mortar, and pestle. Repeat with the berries and combine the powders in a bowl. Melt the lard, then add it to the bowl and mix until it’s sticky enough to be formed into shapes. If the mixture is still too powdery, add another 10 g of melted lard. Sweeten to taste with 10 g sugar if desired. Shape the pemmican into patties and let them dry before eating.

Better Bacon

We all know that the love people have for bacon borders on obsession. But what is the best way to prepare the salt-cured pork belly everyone craves? Inspired by a feature on Cooking for Engineers, I tested several different cooking methods and compared the results. As it was on sale at the time, I used Schneiders Classic Cut brand bacon for the tests. Each piece of bacon was rated out of five, with five being excellent, and a score of one being inedible. Assisting me with the tasting part of the experiment were the other bacon eaters in the house, my wife Dawn Xanklin, and our son, a fourth-grade bacon connoisseur.

Baked on Aluminum Foil
I placed enough aluminium foil to line a baking sheet, then I put the bacon on top, and baked it at 205°C until it was done to my liking, flipping the bacon occasionally.


Cooking Time: 17 minutes + 17 minutes for oven to reach temperature = 34 minutes
Scores: Franklin on Food: 5 DXanklin: 4 Kid Franklin: 5

Cast Iron Skillet
For this I placed the bacon in a cold cast iron skillet and cooked it at medium heat, flipping the bacon occasionally until it looked good enough to eat.


Cooking Time: 11 minutes
Scores: Franklin on Food: 4 DXanklin: 4 Kid Franklin: 4

Grilled
I put the three strips on some aluminium foil and placed it over two burners on a BBQ at high setting.


Cooking Time: 17 minutes
Scores: Franklin on Food: 4 DXanklin: 5 Kid Franklin: 5

Instant Pot
The bacon was made to fit in a single layer in the Instant Pot cooking chamber. Then I hit the Saute button and cooked everything for three minutes intervals, flipping the bacon before hitting the button again.



Cooking Time: 9 minutes
Scores: Franklin on Food: 3.5 DXanklin: 4 Kid Franklin: 5

Microwave
I took three slices of bacon and placed them on three paper towels on a dinner plate, which I then I put into my microwave oven.


Cooking Time: 3 minutes on high, then cooked 30 seconds until it was done to my liking = 4.5 minutes
Scores: Franklin on Food: 3 DXanklin: 3 Kid Franklin: 5

Water in Skillet
After arranging the bacon in a cold metal frying pan, I added just enough water to cover everything. I then cooked it over high heat until the water boiled, lowered the heat to medium until the water evaporated, and then continued cooking the bacon over medium-low heat until it was ready.

Scores: Franklin on Food: 5 DXanklin: 5 Kid Franklin: 5
Cooking Time: 14 minutes

Notes and Observations:
The overall favourite was the one I was the most skeptical about, the water in the skillet method. It's the method the food scientists over at America's Test Kitchen recommend, as they theorize that the water keeps the cooking temperature low and gentle, allowing the bacon to retain its moisture and stay tender. This gave the bacon a nice ratio of crispiness and chewiness. While it does let the bacon cook in its own fat, the oven is not the most efficient way to cook a small amount of bacon, and it takes the longest of the methods tried. It's much better for larger amounts. Instant Pot bacon isn't an option if you don't have the all-in-one wonder device and barbeque grilled bacon may not be an option if you don't have the equipment or the desire to cook outside. It doesn't get more old school than cooking bacon in a cast oven pan, and while you can't beat the speed of a microwave, it did produce the least liked bacon of the tests. To see which way works best for your bacon needs, you will have to try each method on your own. If you do decide to try this experiment, please note that cooking this much bacon at one time will make the area around your kitchen smell amazing.

Carpe Diem Eating: The Travis Scott Meal

During a recent visit to the drive-through at McDonald's, I asked my son if he wanted his usual order of a cheeseburger, medium fries, and a medium cola. Instead, he asked for a Travis Scott meal. I assumed he meant that he wanted to hear Travis Scott on the radio, and ordered what he usually eats. While he did eat his lunch, my son was annoyed that it wasn't what he asked for and bemoaned that his father wasn't as knowledgeable and cool as his 9-year-old self. I knew that the restaurant still associated with a clown as its mascot, rebranding be damned, didn't name their sandwiches after people like a New York deli would. Until that moment, I only knew Travis Scott as the rapper who lip-synced his hit "Sicko Mode" during an awful Superbowl halftime show. But Kylie Jenner's baby daddy is also a big deal in the fast-food world. Last month, Scott teamed with McDonald's to market the way he levels up his order of the Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and the Cactus Jack meal was born for a limited time offer. What does this combo have to do with Mick Foley's hardcore wrestling persona? Who the hell knows, but it apparently led to some McDonald's locations running out of ingredients for this meal. This promotion somehow slipped under my radar, but it's still possible to have this celebrity-endorsed meal if you want to appear with it even when it sounds strange and weird. Who knows, maybe it can be a secret menu item if enough people ask for it.

THE TRAVIS SCOTT / CACTUS JACK MEAL

• Order a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and ask for it to be topped with bacon and lettuce (I forgot that you can add toppings to hamburgers now).
• Ask for BBQ sauce for your French fries instead of ketchup (Travis likes the tanginess).
• To properly wash down a meal of this magnitude, order a Sprite with extra ice. 
• Bonus cool points if you substitute the Sprite for "Blueberry Faygo", the title of Scott contemporary Lil Mosey's biggest hit. As you can't get Faygo of any flavour at McDonald's, head to the nearest Dollar King in your area for a bottle.

Foods That Unsettle Conservatives

To say the announcement of Kamala Harris as Joe Biden's choice for vice president caused a stir across the border is an understatement. Her biggest critics responded in predictable ways, with FOXNews saying she was both too radical and not radical enough, and the Orange Goblin reviving the birther nonsense that didn't work against Obama. But I don't think anyone predicted the current vice president's take on his potential successor. Speaking at an event called “Farmers & Ranchers For Trump” Mike Pence vowed to make America great again by protecting America’s red meat from the Democrats. After learning Harris was in favour of "changing dietary guidelines and would encourage moderation to promote healthy eating, revise the food pyramid, and protect the environment", Pence responded with this:

"Well I've got some red meat for you - we're not going to let Joe Biden and Kamala Harris cut America's meat!"

You got to hand it to Pence's speechwriter, you have to know your audience if you want to reach them, and telling a room full of beef producers their livelihood will be threatened if Trump isn't reelected is like throwing chum in shark-infested waters. I can also see how the threat of losing access to well-done steaks with ketchup would shake the MAGA crowd to their no-soy-or-tofu-eating core. Anyone else should know that any changes to the USDA food guide aren't mandated by law, they're just healthy suggestions. If you want to stuff every orifice in your body with meat, that's your God-given right as an American or a Canadian. This isn't the first time a politician has used the food we eat to stoke fear and discontent into people, and with the threat of an election in this country looming, I'm sure it won't be the last. So if "owning the conservatives" is a thing for you (or if you're looking for some new ways to eat better), here are some recipes that are red meat-free that are sure to drive Pence crazier than his hydroxychloroquine-hyping boss. Packed full of nutrients and flavour, these recipes are from the Wired food issue from August 2016 back when Pence was starting his own vice-presidential aspirations.

Remember to buy local produce whenever possible.

THE BEAUTIFIER

1. Chop one head of broccoli into florets. Toss with grapeseed or safflower oil, some diced shallot, fresh lime juice, sambal (an Indonesian chili sauce or paste), a bit of fish sauce; season with salt and pepper
2. Layer on the bottom of a medium-sized bowl and top with Swiss chard sautéed in garlic and avocado halves
3. Top with chopped toasted peanuts and hazelnuts served with more lime on the side

The greens, nuts, and oils in this bowl are great sources of vitamin E, which helps the growth of your hair and nails, and has shown to lower incidences of cardiovascular diseases, cancer, and dementia.

THE HEART HELPER

1. Pile steamed brown rice into a medium-sized bowl and top with sautéed Swiss chard or spinach, boiled mini potatoes, sliced avocado and tomatoes, and lima beans
2. Whisk finely chopped shallots, fresh lemon juice, and olive oil together and season with salt and pepper, and drizzle it over the bowl
3. Top with seared mackerel fillet and some chopped pistachios, sunflower seeds, and parsley sprinkled over everything

Potassium and magnesium-rich, this bowl helps reduce high blood pressure, a leading cause of heart attacks, heart failure, kidney disease, and stroke.

VISION OF HEALTH

1. Toss chopped sweet potato, carrots and/or butternut squash with olive oil, salt and pepper, and roast at 205°C until golden-brown
2. Wilt some spinach in a large skillet and chop, then stir it into some cooked quinoa, along with some olive oil, fresh lemon juice, chopped parsley, scallion, and salt and pepper
3. Arrange the quinoa mixture in a medium-sized bowl and top with the roasted vegetables, a fried egg, and some chili flakes

The vitamin A in the ingredients in this bowl is key for eye and immune health. The quinoa supplies vitamin B and iron, as well as being protein-rich and gluten-free.

THE BONE BUILDER

1. Mix some finely grated garlic into full-fat Greek yogurt, season with salt and pepper, then smear it onto the side of a medium-sized bowl and sprinkle with Aleppo pepper (also known as Halaby pepper) and orange zest
2. Add wilted kale to the bowl, and top with a piece of seared rainbow trout, with the juice of half an orange squeezed over everything
3. Top with flaky sea salt and a fresh egg yolk

The calcium in the kale pairs well with the vitamin D in the yogurt, egg yolk, and the trout.

THE BLOOD BOOSTER

1. Pile warm buckwheat soba into a medium-sized bowl and top with steamed Chinese (or regular) broccoli, bok choy, baby shrimp, cooked edamame, and some spoonfuls of silken tofu
2. Pour hot dashi broth over everything, then drizzle with some soy sauce and toasted sesame oil
3. Squeeze lots of lime over everything and top with chopped toasted cashews and cilantro

Broccoli and bok choy are packed with vitamin C, which helps the body absorb the iron from the tofu, edamame, and shrimp. A good balance improves oxygen transport and blood health.

NO-FAIL KALE

1. Finely chop some kale or any green leafy vegetable you have on hand (Swiss chard, spinach, collards, parsley will work) and mix with finely grated garlic, lemon zest, and lots and lots of olive oil
2. Season with salt and pepper and toss with zucchini noodles
3. Serve in a medium-sized bowl with watercress, chopped toasted pistachios, a squeeze of lemon, and plenty of shaved Parmesan on top 

The vitamin K from the greens and the cheese are essential for bone remodelling and blood clotting when you get cut.

The Need To Know Classic That Is: Coq au Vin

The person who first cooked something in wine had to have known they were onto something. While this technique can be traced back to Julius Caesar's day, coq au vin (literally chicken with wine) was perfected by the French, with a recipe for poulet au vin blanc, appearing in a cookbook as far back as 1864. This dish is so perfect an example of French cooking that it's little wonder Julia Child added it to her repertoire, and best of all, it is a dish that is dead simple to make. I recently made the recipe below for an anniversary dinner, and I highly recommend it for when you want to have a special dinner but you don't want to go out to eat.

Ingredients

1.8 kg chicken, cut into eight pieces, or eight chicken parts
710 mL red wine (use Burgundy if you're a traditionalist)
450 g pearl onions, peeled
330 g mushrooms (button mushrooms are normally used)
225 g lardons

• a lardon is a small strip or cube of fatty bacon, or pork fat. Pancetta can be used as a substitute; I used whatever bacon I had in the fridge

30 g butter
30 mL olive oil
at least 2 garlic cloves, peeled and crushed
1 bouquet garni

• a bouquet garni is a bunch of herbs tied up in cheesecloth used to season your food. Traditionally bay leaves, parsley, and thyme is used; I used what was in the "Mixed Herbs" packet I had in the cupboard

flour
salt and pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C. Season the chicken pieces with salt and pepper. Put some flour in a large plastic zip-top bag, add the chicken, seal, and shake to cover the meat evenly. Heat the olive oil and the butter in a Dutch oven or casserole dish, and cook the chicken over high heat for five to six minutes until browned - depending on the size of your pan, this may require doing so in batches.
2. Remove the chicken when it has finished cooking and set the meat aside somewhere to keep warm. Cook the bacon in the same pan until it is crisp. Remove the bacon from the pan, add the onions and cook them for four to five minutes until they begin to brown. Pour in the wine and stir the contents to remove anything sticking to the sides and bottom of the cooking dish.
3. Place the chicken and the bacon back in the pot and add the garlic and the bouquet garni. Bring everything to a boil, cover, then place the dish in the centre of the oven for 75 minutes.
4. Add the mushrooms and let everything cook for another 15 minutes. Remove the dish from the oven, take out the chicken, bacon, mushrooms, and onions, and place them in a serving dish. The bouquet garni can be thrown out.
5. Return the cooking dish and its juices to low heat on the stove, and check to see if more salt and/or pepper is required, then bring to a rapid boil until the sauce is thick and glossy. Pour the sauce over the food and serve immediately on its own, or with crusty French bread, mashed or roasted potatoes or anything starchy to soak up the sauce.

Note: The above recipe was taken from "Cook's Bible" by Lorraine Turner, Parragon Books Ltd.

Dining Out Redux

If I had known how long it would be before I could sit in a restaurant again, I would have ordered something to eat.

On what was my last Friday working from an office downtown, I was in a meeting that March afternoon listening to the plans for dealing with a virus that days before wasn't considered a cause for concern. We were told those who could work from home should prepare to do so for the following week; those like myself who weren't set up for remote work (they wouldn't let me telework because I was on loan from another department) were to receive instructions on Monday about whether or not to come into the office. Heading home, I decided to stop at Bier Market on a whim; I guess subconsciously I knew it was going to a while before I would be downtown again. That week, there were fewer people than usual milling around the area of Metcalfe and O'Connor, with the lack of toilet paper and hand sanitizer being a major topic of conversation. There were a  handful of patrons scattered throughout the eating area, no 5 o'clock rush to speak of.  I sat at the bar and ordered a Lagunitas IPA while watching sports highlights. As dead as it was, I assumed business would pick up as the afternoon turned into evening. Feeling good enough to face the clusterfuck that is waiting for a bus at Blair station during rush hour, I paid my tab and went to Parliament station to go home, thinking I'd stop in again within the next few weeks. That was four months ago - and a lot has changed since then.

We have only recently begun Stage 3 of the province's reopening plan. This allows nearly all businesses in the city to reopen, including gyms, movie theatres, and bars and restaurants for indoor dining; buffet-style dining is still prohibited. Health officials have said we can "safely enjoy the loosening of restrictions" as long as we continue washing our hands, covering our faces, and physical distancing. While the efforts our government put in place to flatten the curve are working better the ones the orange goblin in the United States chose to use, every story about new cases of COVID-19 rising in parts of the U.S. that opened their restaurant doors before we did makes me wonder if the rush to Stage 3 is happening too soon. Still, my curiosity about how local eateries are handling the new dine-in protocols got the best of me, so I made my way back to the last restaurant I went to before Ottawa went on lockdown.

It was around six Sunday evening when I drove downtown. I parked close to World Exchange Plaza, the first time I’ve been near the place since March, as working downtown stopped being an option when I was sent back to my home department where I was set up to work from home. I know that during the best of times you could shoot a cannonball down Sparks and not hit anything for minutes, but it seemed unusually quiet for a summer evening. There were patios set up at some of the restaurants on the way, but no one sitting and eating. With so little foot traffic it was hard to tell if some restaurants decided to close early, or not open at all. I was beginning to think I should have called to see if Bier Market was open, and was relieved to see a table of two on the patio and two hostesses in masks standing by the entrance, with various public health or social distancing warnings on the door to the restaurant behind them. I was asked if wanted to eat outside or inside. Even though the wind was starting to pick up, I chose outside. Viruses like COVID-19 spread through droplets that come out of our bodies when we open our mouths and drop to surfaces or the ground within two metres of us, and then circulate around a room. This isn’t a problem when outside as the droplets are diluted by the atmosphere. This is why Ottawa Public Health suggests we should wear face coverings and why the prime minister suggested we should refrain from speaking moistly back in April; it’s not as stupid sounding when you know why...no, actually, it still sounds cringeworthy. Let’s move on...

I was lead to my table after it was set up at the end of the patio several metres away from the table of two already there. Once seated, I was asked for a contact number for COVID-19 track purposes. Understandable, given we’re still in a pandemic, but still offputting - privacy advocates, take note. Having scanned the menu ahead of time, I went with the Drunken' Duck Wings, and the porter my masked server recommended, the Deschutes Black Butte. Heading inside with my mask on to use the facilities, I was surprised by the social distancing in the men’s room. One person at a time, with no urinals available for use, and only one stall available for both #1 and #2. I’ll assume it’s a similar setup in the ladies’ room, and I can’t see how this isn’t an issue in either toilet when it’s busy. On my way back to my table, I noticed only a face-masked bartender standing behind the bar, with not one person sitting inside eating.

Soon my duck wings arrived with the beer. I didn’t really get any of the “bier” flavour for something that was advertised as beer-braised, and the golden BBQ sauce wasn’t as spicy as I thought it would be, which was disappointing. I did enjoy the porter, the sweet dark bitterness was a nice change from the IPAs I usually drink. While eating, a party of seven came in to celebrate a birthday, but because of the new 6 people per table rule, they had to be split into two tables across from each other. After settling up, I sat and enjoyed being outside on a patio for a bit for a little while longer, then made my way home.

Is it worth going out to eat now? Depends on how badly you want someone else to cook and serve you your food and the food you are eating. Like everything in 2020, dining out means adapting to new rules. Outdoor eating is only a viable option a short time of the year, with staff already noticing the threat of bad weather will keep people from leaving home. Being indoors at a restaurant means having your face covered in some way, and it is expected that you will have a mask on when you're not enjoying your meal. If that is an issue for anyone, they should strongly consider the take-out option. A special dinner date or night out for drinks can be done if everyone follows the protocols put in place. My trip to Bier Market did a lot to alleviate my concerns about what going out to eat in the new normal would be like, but it also reminded me that being in Stage 3 doesn't mean we're out of the woods just yet. It will take a lot of effort on everyone's part before we're back to how things used to be.

Legends of Canadian Pastry: The Nanaimo Bar

The Sweet Canada: Domestic stamps series

Looking for something to do this Canada Day? Celebrate by making one of most Canadian of desserts, the Nanaimo bar. The most addictive thing to come out of British Columbia other than marijuana, the no-bake dessert bar was popularized in the years following World War 2, reaching national notoriety after Expo 86. Traditionally consisting of three layers (a graham wafer crumb and shredded coconut base, custard-flavoured butter icing in the middle, and a chocolate ganache on top), the official city of Nanaimo-approved version of the pastry came to be after Joyce Hardcastle's recipe won a contest the city held. With Canada Day options limited this year, why not give this recipe a try? It will definitely add to the excitement of virtual fireworks - stay safe and happy Canada Day everyone.

Ingredients - Bottom Layer

425 g graham wafer crumbs
250 g shredded coconut
125 g unsalted butter (European style cultured if possible)
125 g finely chopped almonds
75 g cocoa
50 g sugar
1 egg, beaten

1. Melt the first 3 ingredients in the top of a double boiler. Place on the stove over medium heat and bring the water to simmer. 
• If you don’t have a double boiler, half-fill a saucepan with water and heat over medium heat until the water begins to simmer. Then, place a metal or glass bowl over the simmering water and proceed as directed.

2. Add the egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat. 
3. Stir in the crumbs, the coconut, and the nuts. Press firmly into an ungreased 2 L baking pan.

Ingredients - Second Layer

500 g icing sugar
125 g grams unsalted butter
30 g vanilla custard powder
40 mL cream

4. Cream the butter, cream, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light and fluffy. 
5. Spread it over the bottom layer.

Ingredients - Third Layer

115 g semi-sweet chocolate
30 g unsalted butter

6. Melt the chocolate and the butter over low heat. Remove it from the heat and let it cool. 
7. Once cool, but still liquid, pour it over the second layer. Cover everything and let it chill in the refrigerator until cold.

Adventures in BBQ: Pork Shoulder

For my birthday this year, my wife got me a compact vertical charcoal smoker/grill. I finally got a chance to try it out when I smoked a pork shoulder roast recently. Here are some observations on how it all came together:

• Like my favourite Arlen, Texas resident, I've always used propane and propane accessories, this is the first time I've ever used a charcoal grill to cook.
• I wasn't crazy about having to assemble my birthday present, this grill definitely has more moving parts than the box smoker I made a few years ago. The build went OK, took about a half-hour. I can't stress enough - always read and re-read the instructions when putting something together. If I hadn't, I would have put the charcoal in the ash pan instead of on one of the grills - oops.
• This smoker uses a water pan to prevent any fat from dripping onto the coals and helps regulate the temperature by adding some humidity. Hopefully, I don't douse my coals by accident during the cook.
• Getting a charcoal chimney to light my briquettes was a smart move on my part. 
• According to Jaime Purvuiance's "Weber's Way To Grill", the roast needed to be cooked with indirect heat, so around lunchtime, I got my briquettes lit, spread the coals on one side of the grill, and put the pork shoulder with the rub I applied to it earlier on the other. I wish I had grabbed some wood chips when I bought the briquettes; hickory or oak seems to be good all-purpose choices.
• It was threatening to rain all afternoon, with it spitting from the sky intermittently. Today's beer of choice: Pabst Blue Ribbon 5.9%,  a fine utility beer, one of the few cheap American beers that taste like actual beer.
• About 30 minutes in, I noticed my temperature was dropping because I didn't use enough charcoal. Keeping this grill at the 200-250 degree sweet spot on the temperature gauge will be the constant challenge, I had no idea how much I took the ease of propane for granted.
• Mental note, I need to buy a bucket for the ashes and something to move around the coals. A pair of heat-resistant gloves would also be nice in hindsight; no burns but why take the chance, right? 
• You know you're on the right track when your wife and your neighbour ask where that great aroma is coming from.
• Even though I let a 2 kg roast cook all afternoon,  I still checked to see if it was at temperature. The end result had a nice colour on it, and while the meat wasn't fall off the bone tender, it still made some damn tasty sandwiches.
• Overall, not bad for a first attempt. With the goal of smoking a beef brisket by the start of fall, it looks like I'm going to be spending the rest of the summer getting to know my new smoker.  This is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
  
  

  

  Pork shoulder

  
   

Better Later Than Never: Beer Bread

2020 is, among other things, the year everyone's inner baker came out.  It may have slowed down a bit now that the province is slowly reopening, but people have been cranking out baked goods nonstop over the past few months even with baking ingredients in short supply during the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm not much of a baker, so I have no patience or desire to get a sourdough starter going. Instead, I went with a beer bread recipe for my baking therapy. It's easy to make because it eliminates the entire process of kneading, rising, and kneading again, as the beer’s yeast content reacts with the other ingredients in the bread mix, causing the dough to rise and start to leaven. So if you can get your hands on some flour, and have some spare beer in the fridge, give this recipe a try for some easy baked goods. Hopefully, you still have some spare time...

Ingredients

410 g flour (sifted)
60 g sugar
15 g baking powder (omit if using self-rising flour)
6 g salt (omit if using self-rising flour)
120 mL melted butter
1 (355 mL) can beer (just about any will work, even non-alcoholic beer, though the taste of your bread will depend on what you use; a stout will impart a stronger flavour than an ale.
NOTE: It is highly recommended adding a packet of dry active yeast or 6 g of bread machine yeast if you use non-alcoholic beer in order to get a proper rise)

1. Preheat oven to 190 °C.
2. Sifting your flour breaks down any clumps in it and makes the flour fluffier by infusing air into it. preventing the bread from turning into something hard and inedible. If you don't have a flour sifter, measure out the flour into a bowl and mix it with either a fork or whisk. Once done, add the remaining dry ingredients and the beer and mix everything together - mix the butter into the batter if you want a more traditional bread with a soft crust.
3. Pour the mixture into a greased loaf pan. For a buttery, crunchy crust, pour the melted butter on top of the batter.
4. Bake for one hour, then remove from the pan and let cool for at least 15 minutes.

Working My Way Through The Works: (Ten Burgers in) SK8R Boy

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

May 12, 2020
Burger Description: "Peanut butter, jack cheese & bacon"
($18.28)

The original plan for this review was supposed to be completely different. I was going to celebrate hitting a double-digit number of these entries by eating at a different Works than the two locations I normally go to, but COVID-19 changed that for the foreseeable future. I couldn't eat the burger I wanted to review as the "Living on the Vedge" has been removed from the menu. So I'm going with a burger I've eaten back in the days before I blogged about food while seeing what all the fuss food delivery services are about after being a longtime holdout.  I had planned to do a pick up at the Orleans location, but The Works' website doesn't offer that service to its Ottawa area locations. Skip The Dishes, Don Draper's favourite service when he pretends to be Canadian is the default delivery option for all the local Works restaurants, but depending on the location, DoorDash and UberEats are also available.  Downloading the app to my phone was easy, and placing the order was straightforward. The app said my food would arrive ASAP, and 31 minutes later, the doorbell rang, and my food was there on the doorstep as I had instructed them to do. What arrived was the Avril Lavigne themed SK8R Boy - remember when people pretended to be appalled that she didn't know who David Bowie was back when she was the next big thing? My hamburger came with a healthy amount of peanut butter, so much I couldn't taste the jack cheese. Not tasting the cheese defeats the purpose of ordering a cheeseburger. The ghetto peanut sauce worked well with the bacon, and it gave the burger the expected nutty flavour, but it needed the kick that makes peanut sauce what it is. The peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth, which was a feeling I don't normally associate with hamburgers. Maybe that was why it was as filling and oddly addictive as it was. The onion rings were crunchy, flavourful, and in my opinion, very underrated as a side order. This is a burger that you need to be in the mood. It was interesting to eat, but I wouldn't order one again. To paraphrase the song it's named after, I say see you later boy, this burger wasn't good enough for me.

2.5 out of 5 stars - You'll get a well-cooked burger, but your enjoyment depends on your love of nut butter.

Streamline Your Supermarket Shopping

Grocery shopping in 2020 has become an ordeal.  New opening and closing hours; keeping two meters away from other shoppers; following the new one-way directions in the aisles - it's become a real pain in the ass. Now more than ever, we need to get in and out of the supermarket as efficiently as possible, with enough items bought to make it worth our while. Stocking your pantry with basic supplies makes it possible to have enough food for some decent meals while limiting your future runs to the store to buying perishable items and restocking. By purchasing the items below, you will help cut down on the number of times you have to endure waiting in line to get in and out of your favourite big box, warehouse, or grocery store - I can't think of a better way to flatten the curve.

Necessities

• apples
• baking soda (buy two boxes, one for baking, one for cleaning)
• baking powder
• bread
• butter/margarine
• carrots
• canned beans
• canned tomatoes (whole and crushed)
• canned tuna (chunk packed in water is good for sandwiches; white albacore is best for salads)
• chicken breasts
• coffee/tea
• canola oil
• cereal
• cheese 
• cornstarch
• cucumber
• dried herbs (basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme)
• eggs
• extra virgin olive oil
• flour (if you see some, grab it, it's been flying off the shelves like toilet paper recently)
• frozen vegetables (corn, peas, spinach)
• garlic
• ground beef
• jam/jelly
• ketchup
• lettuce
• mayonnaise
• mustard (yellow and Dijon)
• onions
• oranges
• pasta
• pork chops/steak (the same number of pieces of meat as household members per pack) 
• peanut butter
• potatoes
• rice
• salt
• spices (cinnamon, chili powder cumin, curry powder, nutmeg)
• sugar
• soy sauce
• stock cubes (beef, chicken, vegetable)
• vinegar

Extras (always good to have on hand)

• canned broth
• canned soups (a can of cream of mushroom and/or cream of celery, you got a key ingredient in a bunch of casseroles)
• canned vegetables
• celery
• chicken broth
• chocolate chips
• cocoa
• cottage or ricotta cheese
• cornmeal
• dried herbs (sage, tarragon, marjoram)
• evaporated milk
• frozen shrimp
• honey
• lemons
• nuts (chopped or whole)
• orange (or some other fruit) juice
• peppers (red, green, something spicier)
• plain yogurt
• popcorn
• raisins
• salsa
• seasonal fruit
• sour cream
• spices (allspice, cardamom, cinnamon sticks, cloves, coriander, star anise)
• Tabasco sauce (or another type of hot sauce)
• tortillas (corn and flour)
• tomato paste
• Worcestershire sauce

Splurges (you got to treat yo' self every now and then)

• Arborio rice 
• Basmati rice
• Ben and Jerry's ice cream (I'm loving the new Netflix & Chilll'd flavour)
• brownie mix
• coconut milk
• dried mushrooms (shiitake or porcini)
• fresh herbs (basil, cilantro, flat-leaf parsley, rosemary, sage)
• fresh pasta (specifically fresh ravioli or tortellini)
• marshmallows
• miso paste
• olives (not the ones in jars on the shelf, the ones from the deli or gourmet shop)
• pesto
• pine nuts
• sesame oil (remember, a little dab will do ya when using it on food)
• seasonal berries
• spices (Chinese 5-spice powder, garam masala, saffron)

Note: You know your food likes and dislikes better than I do, use some common sense when buying any of the above items. If you're allergic to something or have certain dietary restrictions, don't buy it.

Note: Information used on this blog came from "Cook Your Meals: The Easy Way", by Sharon Bowers, Macmillian Publishing

Double Frying Your Fries

French fries have nothing to do with France. What we now know as French fries can be traced back to late 1600 Belgium, where poor villagers were forced to use potatoes when the fish they usually fried was unavailable to them during the winter. American soldiers stationed in Belgium during WWI discovered their fried potatoes, and because the Belgian army spoke French, the Americans called them “French fries.", and the rest is history. Currently, there are over 90 million kilograms of Canadian French fry potatoes stuck in storage due to the diminished demand from restaurants because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Canadian producers are pleading for the public to consume more French fries, and because we're all in this together, I'm willing to do my part to help Canadian farmers out. If I'm going to be forced to eat more French fries, I may as well make them the best way possible - crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. As I don't own an air fryer, I will have to use the double fry method. This will take longer to make, but luckily, 2020 has given some of us all the time we need to live our best French fry life.

Ingredients

• Russet potatoes - they're denser and they have the least amount of moisture in them; avoid red and new potatoes as they contain so much water that they will actually hollow out when you fry them when the water evaporates
• canola or peanut oil - oils with a high smoke count will break down slower leading to crispier fries
• lemon juice

1. Fill a large bowl with cold water and add to it 15 mL of lemon juice. Set the bowl aside.
2. Peel some potatoes and remove any eyes from them. Slice the potatoes into French fries and put them into the bowl of cold water as you go. Potatoes start to darken if they're exposed to oxygen for too long, including the oxygen in the water - the acid from the lemon juice helps keep the potatoes white.
3. When you have enough fries, rinse them under cold water in the bowl until the water turns clear to rinse off any excess starch. Add another 15 mL of lemon juice and a few cups of ice to chill the water thoroughly. Move the bowl to the refrigerator to chill for about 30 minutes.
4. Heat the cooking oil you're using in either a deep fryer or in a Dutch oven to 163℃
5. Remove the French fries from the ice bath and pat them dry with paper towels.
6. When the oil reaches temperature, carefully add the fries to it. Cook them for 6-8 minutes, or until they're soft and are slightly golden in colour. While the fries are cooking, put some paper towels at the bottom of a bowl large enough to hold all the fries and set it aside.
7. Carefully take the fries from the oil and put them in the paper-lined bowl to drain.  Let them stand at room temperature for 15 minutes, or place the bowl in the refrigerator them again until you're ready to use them. Remember to turn off the heat under the oil during this time.
8. Reheat the oil to 190℃, and carefully return the fries to the oil to cook for another 2 to 3 minutes or until they're golden brown and crispy. Allow them the drain again, then salt generously, and serve immediately.

Commentary on Unpopular Food and Beverages Opinions

Looking for a way to blow off some pent-up cabin fever with whoever you're forced to spend time with while self-isolating? The Internet is filled with unpopular food-related opinions, so use some of these talking points the next time you feel the need to pick a fight with someone to break up some of the monotony. Just keep in mind that it may not be worth it if you end up self-isolating in a tent in the yard; like the President of the United States, this blog will not be responsible for the end of any friendships, engagements, or marriages.

1. Pineapple is a legitimate pizza topping.
   This one always starts fights because there is no middle ground. You either love pineapple on a pizza, or you hate it with a passion. Pairing salty pork and sweet fruit makes sense, but putting it on a pizza does nothing for me.
2. Ketchup should be fridge-cold.
   Even though I always stick the bottle of ketchup in the fridge after I open it, this is not a deal-breaker with me. Besides, it helps to cool off fresh out the fryer French fries before you jam them in your mouth.
3. Ketchup be damned.
   I know that they don't like ketchup on hot dogs in Chicago, but you must really hate the taste of processed tomatoes to forego it completely. 
4. Beer out of a can tastes weird.
   In theory, beer in a can should taste better than beer in a bottle as cans keep out all light and are completely airtight to ensure the beer never gets tainted. People assume they can taste the aluminum from the can when they take a sip, but the inside of beer cans have been lined with a thin layer of plastic since the 1930s, so maybe it's the plastic they object to. Luckily, this is a problem that can be solved by handing the person an empty glass.
5. Mushrooms are disgusting.
   True, they are a fungus that grows on shit, but honey is basically bee vomit, and no one is up in arms about putting it on toast. 
6. Strawberries get more credit than they deserve.
   Do the tarts, turnovers, and shortcakes strawberries make really steal the glory away from foods made from blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, and all the other berries? I don't really understand this strawberry hating. 
7. Pickle juice is delicious, nutritious, and a treat for your mouth and body.
   It turns out that they really are a lot of health reasons to drink pickle juice. Athletes swear that drinking it helps relieve muscle cramps and that it replenishes electrolytes better than Gatorade, among other things. I am sold on the idea that pickle brine is great for marinating chicken in, but otherwise, I'm not big on pickles as a whole, drinking the juice would be a big pass for me.
8. Room-temperature butter is the truth.
   Bakers looking to get the flakiest of flaky pie crusts would disagree, but there's no denying that warm butter is easier to spread on toast. 
9. "I hate avocados, but I love guacamole."
   This describes my feelings about avocados perfectly, without any seasonings, I can't eat avocado, just as I can't eat a burrito without guacamole.
10. Brunch is not bad, but it is dramatically overrated.
    Going out to brunch - those were the days. Anyone who believes brunch is more trouble than it's worth has either read "Kitchen Confidential" or has waited a long time to get seated for brunch while hungover. Brunch was never a big thing in my life, it has to be a really great Eggs Benedict for me to get dressed up to go eat it. That said, I look forward to going to  Stoneface Dolly's for breakfast when we're allowed to eat in restaurants again.
11. Liver is beautiful, the most underrated food of all time.
    A bold statement considering how people stick out their tongues in disgust after just hearing the word "liver", but there has to be a reason why liver and onions can still be found on the menu in some diners and restaurants. To my knowledge, I've never eaten liver; maybe it's time to remedy that while on lockdown - I'll keep you posted.
12. Watermelon is disgusting.
    The racial overtures that are associated with black people and watermelon is disgusting, but the fruit itself? It is nice in a fruit salad, try grilling it to bring out its natural sweetness.
13. Nuts in chocolate is really, really, wrong.
    This is only a problem if you have a nut allergy, as it's not that hard to find nut-free chocolate. I would have thought chocolate-covered raisins would have caused more of an uproar, but I guess Raisinets are more popular than I ever imagined.
14. Rare steak sucks.
    If the idea of ordering a piece of meat that's still mostly red when you cut it offends you, consider that some people like to order their steak blue, seared on the outside, and completely raw inside. A steak cooked that way has an internal temperature that hovers around 50 degrees Celsius, compared to a medium-rare that roughly ten degrees hotter. If anything, my only concern is whether or not you put ketchup on it, because come on...
15. Bacon is very good but… like… it’s not THAT good.
    I pretty much said as much back in one of my Works hamburger reviews. Fried pork is tasty, but it's not the end-all, be-all of food.
16. Tea sucks.
    For years I was a dedicated tea drinker, having a cup of orange pekoe in the morning with my parents at breakfast. Then I got a job with people who only drank coffee at break, and from then I never looked back. I wouldn't go as far as to say tea is horrible, maybe a person just needs exposure to different teas.
17. "I can’t stand pizza with tomato sauce."
    As a traditionalist, I would have to ask them what sauce they prefer if they aren't messing with tomato sauce. Bechamel is a popular alternative, along with pesto, BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, or chili sauce. I'd be willing to try one of these different sauces on a slice, but for me to swear off regular pizza sauce, it has to be one helluva of a great sauce.
18. Meat is overrated.
    I'm assuming this is the opinion of the hardest of hardcore vegans and vegetarians. I'm always surprised at how good the food is when I do eat something vegetable-based, but unless it's for health reasons, I don't see why I wouldn't want to eat meat.
19. Cake is not that good.
20. Chocolate ice cream is absolutely disgusting.
21. Vegetables are better than dessert.
    Who the hell is saying any of this?!? I'll give you that vegetables are very tasty when they're not boiled to a flavorless mush, that chocolate is not everyone's favourite ice cream, and that some people prefer other pastries. But this is just food trolling.
22. "I don’t like Nutella."
    As popular as the chocolate-hazelnut spread is, it's not something I keep in the pantry myself. I can see why it has its detractors, everyone has their limits on how much sweet that can take. For those who can't get enough of the stuff,  here's a recipe from "The 4-Hour Chef" on how to make your own Nutella in case the grocery store runs out:
    
DIY Nutella

200 g canned hazelnut-praline paste (order it from Amazon)
100 g softened unsalted butter
75 g melted choclate (preferly 64% cacao bittersweet)

1. Mix the hazelnut-praline paste and the butter with an immersion blender in a deep bowl until smooth
2. Add the chocolate and beat until it's smooth again.
3. Store in an airtight container in a dark, dry place at cool room temperature for 3 months.

Animated Eats: The Upside Down Flint-Rubble Double Bubble Cake

If you lived in Ottawa at any point in the 80s, you saw one of these cartoons on CJOH at noon - the underrated "Rocket Robin Hood", retro "Spider-Man", or the classic Hanna-Barbera creation "The Flintstones". One of my most cherished childhood memories is of me coming home from school and watching Fred and Barney's pre-historic adventures while eating a hot dog my mom made me for lunch.  On this day back in 1961, the episode "In the Dough" featured Fred and Barney posing as their wives in order to win a baking competition. The recipe used was for a dessert their wives dubbed the upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake. As the actual recipe for this was just a part of animated lore, one would assume that if it existed, it would show that the cake was baked in a single pan with its toppings (some sort of chopped or sliced fruits) on the bottom of the pan before the batter is poured in to form a baked-on topping after the cake is inverted - hence it being “upside-down”. To pay tribute to this cartoon cake, I decided to post a recipe from another childhood memory of mine - looking through my mom's copy of The all new Purity Cook Book: A Complete Guide of Canadian Cooking. I always loved the picture of the pineapple upside-down cake they used, and I was crushed when I saw they used a black and white photo for the reproduction of the original 1967 edition I have. So yabba-dabba-doo yourself a favour, and celebrate this day in TV food history by making this as a St. Patrick's Day dessert; if you insist on having a wee bit o' the green, you sticklers can use green Maraschino cherries in the recipe below.

Ingredients:

pineapple rings (fresh or canned, your choice)
Maraschino cherries (optional)
1 egg
250 mL milk
5 mL vanilla
200 g white sugar
190 g flour
100 g brown sugar, lightly packed
65 g shortening (butter or margarine can be substitistied as technically any fat that’s used in baking is considered “shortening”)
40 g butter or margarine
10 g baking powder
5 g salt

1. Preheat the oven to 176°C. Melt the 40 g butter/margarine and pour it in a 20 x 20 cm baking pan.
2. Sprinkle the brown sugar on what's in the baking pan, then cover it with the pineapple rings; if desired, place a cherry on the center on the rings.
3. In a bowl, combine the remaining sugar and whatever you are using for shortening, then add the egg and the vanilla. Beat until the mixture is light and fluffy.
4. Blend together the flour, baking powder, and the salt in a separate bowl. Add the contents to the first bowl, then mix everything together. Pour in the milk and then mix again.
5. Pour the batter over the contents of the baking pan. Bake in the oven for 40-50 minutes. Once the cake is done, invert it onto a serving plate immediately. Serve warm.

Dining During The Coronapocalypse

It took only a matter of weeks for the coronavirus to go from being a punchline about Mexican beer to panic about a global pandemic. With quarantines and self-isolation being recommended by health officials as ways to control the spread of the virus, an industry that thrives on people getting together like the restaurant industry does is encountering a serious problem. The colder months are usually a slow period at the best of times, and in an industry known for low-profit margins, there is a good chance that one of your favorite eateries may not outlast the outbreak. Some establishments have adapted by no longer accepting reusable cups in an effort to help prevent the spread of COVID-19; some places are moving to digital payment only; a lot of restaurants who don't already have some sort of delivery may be forced into doing so. As dining establishments adjust to these extraordinary circumstances, we must change as well. Here are some tips to help guide us through this new normal:

• People working in restaurants have a tendency to work when they're sick - please don't do this now. I understand that people need to work to order pay their bills, but if someone shows symptoms of the coronavirus and they still head out to work, they aren't helping anyone, especially themselves. If you are in such a position, tell team members who are not feeling well to stay home (yes, I know it's not easy running a restaurant, let alone one with less staff, but remember I'm just some asshole who doesn't want to get sick when he goes out to eat, so cut me some slack). Any restaurant that forces its employees to work when they are ill should be outed and shamed on social media -  the internet never forgets.
• Tip generously if you are dining out. Remember, a lot of people in the food service industry make minimum wage, and as fewer people head out to eat, everyone’s paycheque is going to be smaller. 
• Don't no-show your reservations at the restaurant you booked. If you can’t make it, call the restaurant and cancel; this is just good etiquette, like washing your hands, and covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
• Consider buying a gift card from your favourite local coffee shop, or restaurant. It's a great way to show you're there for them now and in the future. If you’re torn between a chain restaurant and your favourite smaller spot, consider supporting a local business. Chances are that burger or fast food joint will be able to survive a few months of slumping sales, that little place around the corner you go for brunch at, not so much.
• Start lobbying the municipal, provincial, and federal government for whatever payroll and tax breaks for small businesses they can give you. Politicians always say they work for the people, now is as good a time as any to start holding their feet to the fire about that promise.
• Finally, let's remember that the people who cook, serve, sell, or deliver our food are human beings who are dealing with the stress of this epidemic too. There's no reason to get mad at your server or the delivery person because all the stores are out of toilet paper. If you know anyone who’s struggling during this time, reach out and show care and concern. The only way we're going to get through this is by sticking together and helping each other.

An Ode to Old Bay

There are only three things I know about the city of Baltimore, Maryland - the Ravens and Orioles play there; "The Wire" was set there, and that Old Bay seasoning mix is made there. Named after the Old Bay steamship line, Old Bay was created in 1939 by Gustav Brunn, a German immigrant who fled Germany in 1937 at the outset of World War 2 with only a small spice grinder in his possession, according to legend. After founding the Baltimore Spice Company, Brunn created a blend of black pepper, celery salt, crushed red pepper flakes, and paprika (among other things) that he originally called "Delicious Brand Shrimp and Crab Seasoning". While mainly used to season seafood, Old Bay soon found its way into recipes that use poultry, red meat, corn, potatoes, or grilled vegetables, and being sprinkled on eggs, popcorn, salads, and pizza. This ubiquitous spice blend was made by the Baltimore Spice Company until McCormick & Company acquired the legal rights to the seasoning brand in 1990; the rights to the Baltimore Spice Company itself were purchased by the Fuchs Group, a German spice company. Because it has so many uses, I consider Old Bay a must-have for any spice rack. If you need more convincing, try this recipe for the food that was there from the beginning.

Ingredients: Crab Cakes

454 g lump crabmeat (don't use the fake stuff)
30 g mayonnaise
10 g Old Bay seasoning
10 g parsley flakes
5 g yellow mustard
2 slices white bread, crusts removed and crumbled
1 egg, beaten

1. Mix the bread, mayonnaise, Old Bay, parsley, mustard and egg in a large bowl until its well blended. Gently stir in crabmeat. Shape the mixture into four patties.
2. You can either broil the patties in the oven for ten minutes without turning, or you can fry them in a pan on the stove until they turn golden brown on both sides, it's up to you. The crab cakes are good on their own or served with a green salad. Feel free to sprinkle on Old Bay if you like, no one will judge.

Working My Way Through The Works: Smokey Mountain

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Smokey BBQ sauce, jack cheese & bacon"
($15.91)

January 28, 2020
It's been a while since I've done one of these - it's good to get back on the burger beat again. Today's hamburger choice was inspired by a podcast I like to listen to. "Jim Cornette's Drive-Thru" is a show where former professional wrestling personality Jim Cornette answers questions about professional wrestling and the pro wrestling industry. He brings a lot of knowledge to these questions as he has worked as a wrestling manager, agent, booker, color commentator, promoter, trainer, and in-the-ring performer for over 30 years. As I was driving home listening to his podcast, he was talking about one of his favourite subjects (other than how much he hates modern wrestling), the promotion he started back in the early 90s called Smoky Mountain Wrestling. SMW followed Cornette's vision that pro wrestling was about good guys battling bad guys through legit athletic competition, and not about outlandish cartoon characters or edgy sex-based storylines or putting people wrapped in barbed wire through tables. Alas, the company folded after four years and has played a factor in making Cornette the controversial curmudgeon that he is today. After fast-forwarding through his latest rant, I decided to order the Smokey Mountain to eat while watching some Smoky Mountain Wrestling, just to see if the fuss he makes about how old-school 'rassling is better than today's product has merit. Heading over to YouTube, I found the very first episode of SMW's television show from February of 1992. There were some familiar faces in action, such as Robert Gibson of the Rock N Roll Express, "Prime Time" Brian Lee, and Barry Horowitz; the main event featured Bobby Fulton of the Fantastics against the Russian Bear Ivan Koloff. And of course, there was Cornette, doing what he does best, talking people into the building, and riling them up with his words. There were no elaborate entrances, no pyrotechnics, and no Jumbrotrons like you see on today's wrestling shows. The matches themselves were nothing special with the star getting the pin over the less popular wrestler with the usual exaggerated punches, kicks, and holds. It was a lot like my hamburger - even though the patty was cooked well done, and the bacon was salty and crunchy, and the cheese melted nicely, and BBQ sauce was spicy, it was still just a bacon cheeseburger with a sauce that reminded me of something I can get from the grocery store. And if that's what you're in the mood for, you will be happy with what you get ordering the Smokey Mountain.  As for Jim Cornette and Smoky Mountain Wrestling, I get that wrestling is still real to a lot of people, and that they long for the days of kayfabe, but at some point, it stops being noble to want to put the toothpaste back into the tube - sometimes you have to accept that the past is the past for a reason.

Smokey Mountain
2.5 out of 5 stars - OK, but there are more interesting items on the menu

Smoky Mountain Wrestling
2.5 out of 5 stars - OK, but I enjoyed watching local promotion C4 Wrestling more

Drink Long and Prosper - "Star Trek" Cocktails

Growing up I had a lot of sci-fi interests, like the disco-era "Battlestar Galactica"; a Buck Rogers with a robot sidekick voiced by Mel Blanc; the Tom Baker version of "Doctor Who"; and George Lucas' first space trilogy. But the first live-action space fantasy that I ever became hooked on was "Star Trek". I discovered it back when the CBC showed the syndicated episodes on Sunday mornings after "Coronation Street". I didn't pay attention to the finer points of the plots (such as they were) of the original series, but I knew Capt. Kirk, Mr. Spock, and their friends flew around in a cool spaceship that could beam them to and from strange new worlds, where they sought out new life and new civilizations with their fists and laser guns. I kept my love of "Star Trek" to myself, as it wasn't as popular with my friends as "Star Wars" was, and its fans were mocked for being obsessive losers with bad hygiene and worse social skills by everyone else. I watched the original series whenever I saw it was on, but I didn't make watching "Star Trek" a priority until the groundbreaking "Next Generation" series debuted several years later. Whether it was the improved special effects, or the superior acting and writing, this version of Gene Roddenberry's vision was better received and more accepted by mainstream audiences. This surge in popularity also rubbed off on "Star Trek" fans as well, and with geek culture at its highest, every comic book convention and devoted cos-playing fan owes a debt of gratitude to all the Trekkies who made being a fanboy/girl and geeking out cool. With Sir Patrick Stewart returning to television with "Star Trek: Picard", get your inner Guinan on and be the hit of your Trekkie viewing party with these Star Trek-themed cocktails. It may not be the same as having a drink at Ten-Forward or at Quark's, but it will do until hologram technology catches up to our imaginations.

PLEASE REMEMBER THE PRIME DIRECTIVE - DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE

Romulan ale
Ingredients

25 mL blue curaçao
25 mL vodka
25 mL Triple Sec
25 mL lemonade

1. Pour the ingredients into a highball or any tall slim glass and stir.
   
   For an extra kick to make it more like its super potent and highly illegal inspiration, add 10 ml of Everclear.

Klingon blood wine
Ingredients

30 mL white rum
30 mL white tequila
tabasco sauce
grenadine
cranberry juice

1. Fill a glass with ice cubes, and add two dashes of tabasco sauce, and one dash of grenadine.
2. In a drink shaker, add the rum, and the tequila, and shake. Pour the contents into the glass with the ice, then top off the drink with cranberry juice until the glass is full.

The Jean Luc Picard
Ingredients

240 mL tea, Earl Grey, hot
30 mL Grand Marnier liqueur

1. Brew the tea, and pour it into a teapot. Add the Grand Marnier and stir.
2. Serve in a teacup.

The DS9 (This drink is better known as a Save the Planet, but is renamed for the space station that was instrumental in saving the planet Bajor for seven seasons)
Ingredients

30 mL vodka
30 mL melon liqueur (Midori, if possible)
15 mL blue curaçao
green Chartreuse

1. Fill a drink shaker with ice. Add the vodka, melon liqueur, and blue curacao. Shake.
2. Strain the contents into a chilled cocktail glass. Float the green Chartreuse on top and serve.

The 7 & 7 of 9 (Renamed for everyone's favorite refugee from the Borg Collective)
Ingredients

45 mL Seagram's 7 blended whiskey
7-Up

1. Fill a highball or any tall slim glass with ice. Add the Seagram's 7 and fill the rest of the glass with 7-Up.
2. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice or with a twist of lemon (both are optional).

The Vulcan Beauty (This drink is based on the brandy-based drink the American Beauty because Vulcans make brandy, and American actress and model Jolene Blalock famously played Vulcan first officer and science officer T'Pol on "Star Trek: Enterprise".)
Ingredients

20 mL brandy
20 mL dry vermouth
20 mL orange juice
15 mL grenadine
15 mL creme de menthe

1. Fill a drink shaker with ice. Add all the ingredients and shake.
2. Strain it into a chilled cocktail glass.