The New Automats - Vending Machine Food Options

People of a certain age remember when you could get a hot meal from a vending machine as long as you had a pocket full of nickels. These restaurants were called automats, and they consisted of coin-operated vending machines that contained food and drinks behind a glass window. Behind the scenes, workers prepared and replenished the meals, with the only visible employee being the person who made change for hungry customers.  While popular at the start of the 20th century, automats soon fell to the wayside in the 60s with the rise of fast-food restaurants. However, with the need to limit human interaction as much as possible during COVID times, the idea behind these eateries is making a comeback of sorts. Cake lovers and fans of  Buddy Valastro's Carlo's Bakery from the show "Cake Boss" have had access to Carlo's Bake Shop Express in Ottawa since November 2020. For $9.99 you can get a slice of either carrot, chocolate fudge, red velvet, or vanilla rainbow from a cake baked at Carlo's Bakery and shipped to the Cake ATMs at St. Laurent Shopping Centre, Rideau Centre, and Bayshore Shopping Centre. They say the cakes are restocked fresh daily, but Guest Services at the mall I called said due to the reduced foot traffic at the mall during the province's latest Stay-at-Home order, they haven't been restocked since April 8 - for the time being, people will still have to go into a bakery for a piece of cake. If it's pizza that you crave, the two locations of the Senate Tavern now have the ability to satisfy your hunger 24/7. The restaurants each have PizzaForno vending machines, stocked daily by the staff at the Senate Tavern, and they can make a pizza in about three minutes. The prices range from $9 to $13, with BBQ chicken pizza, Hawaiian, meat lovers, and vegetarian pizza being available; you can even take your pizza home cold and cook it yourself if you want. All you need is a debit or credit card with the tap feature. We may not have the variety of food vending machines that Japan has, but who knows what the future will hold if the cake and pizza ATMs catch on.

Smell What the WWE is Cooking - Wrestlemania 37

If "Games of Thrones" and the superheroes of the Marvel Comics Universe are worthy of their own cookbooks, it shouldn't be that surprising that World Wrestling Entertainment has published some recipes featuring their superstars as well. With the latest installment of Wrestlemania happening this weekend, I thought I would go through this year's card, and pick the winners of the matches based on how much I like the recipes attributed to them in the latest version of the WWE official cookbook. While all the recipes in this book look like something someone with a reasonable amount of cooking skills can turn into edible meals, I understand that there will be those who will look down on anything involving something as fake as professional wrestling. Their loss - it's still real to me, dammit.

NIGHT 1 (I'm not sure why they spread Wrestlemania over two days this year, but I suspect it is for COVID or money-gauging reasons)

• RAW Tag-Team Championship - The New Day (c) vs AJ Styles & Omos
  The Princes of the Power of Positivity have "Booty O's Snack Mix" (made with WWE Booty O's breakfast cereal!) while the Phenomenal One gets lumped in with his old running buddies with the (Bullet) "Club Sandwich with Au Jus Styles".  I'm going with the sandwich over the sugary treat, even though I have no idea what this Omos guy brings to the ring other than being very tall.
  WINNER: AJ Styles & Omos
  
  
• Cesaro vs Seth Rollins
  Not seeing a recipe for Rollins with something flaming or flame-broiled seems like a missed opportunity for a sports entertainer with the catchphrase "Burn It Down". His entry is the one with his boys from the Shield, "Shield-Cut Oats".  The Swiss Superman gets to share a recipe with his former tag-team partner Sheamus from their days teaming as The Bar with a "Sheamus & Cesaro Salad" - this is less surprising because WWE has never known what to do with Cesaro. As I'm more likely to eat a salad than oatmeal while watching wrestling, this was an easy choice.
  WINNER: Cesaro
  
  
• Cage Match - Braun Strowman vs Shane McMahon
  "Braun Stroganoff" seems an appropriately hearty dish for a man called the Monster Among Men. Knowing how much the owner of the WWE and his family love self-promotion, I'm stunned that there aren't any entries representing any of the McMahon family in this edition of the cookbook. Braun wins by default, though I look forward to watching Shane do his customary unnecessary fall from a high object spot at some point during their match.
  WINNER: Braun Strowman
  
  
• The Miz and John Morrison vs Bad Bunny and Damian Priest
  Why are two wrestlers fighting with a recent Grammy winner and some guy from NXT? The reasons are too stupid to get into, and since none of these people have recipes attributed to them, I'm moving on.
  WINNER: Who cares
  
  
• Smackdown Women's Championship - Sasha Banks (c) vs Bianca Belair
  The champion gets "Salsa Banks", which I assume is a recipe spicy enough for the women's division's Legit Boss. The cookbook was released before the challenger debuted; because of that long thick braid of hair she sometimes uses as a whip, a recipe for a braided challah bread would be a good fit for Belair. Salsa always has a spot on my fridge just like Sasha always has a spot in my heart, but I won't be surprised if Smackdown has a new champion after Saturday night.
  WINNER: Sasha Banks
  
  
• Tag Team Turmoil - Naomi & Lana vs. Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke vs. The Riott Squad vs. Natalya & Tamina
  This match was added to the card recently with the winners earning the right to challenge WWE Women's tag team champions Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler the following night. As this match was just thrown together to give everyone involved a Wrestlemania payday, I'll pick the team of Natalya & Tamina because of the segment that went viral involving the two women complaining about not having a Wrestlemania moment, and because Natalya was the only wrestler to get her own recipe in the cookbook, a "Natali-an Wedding Soup".
  WINNER: Natalya & Tamina  


• WWE Championship - Bobby Lashley (c) vs Drew McIntyre
  Neither the current nor the former WWE Champion have recipes assigned to them. Because wrestling has always used race and ethnicity to create characters, I'm sure there will be a recipe for  Bobby Lashley's All Mighty Ribs and Claymore Kick Haggis in a future update. I prefer meat over sheep offal, so I'm going with Lashley retaining.
  WINNER: Bobby Lashley

NIGHT 2

• Kevin Owens vs Sami Zayn
  Both of these guys have been under WWE contract for years, there's no excuse for not putting them in a WWE cookbook, especially if someone can create "Michael Coleslaw" for annoying commentator Michael Cole. They should have taken advantage of both of their Quebec roots and attached a recipe for poutine or something with smoked meat in it to one of them. As these two wrestlers have fought one another multiple times over the years, there's a good chance that their match will be one of this year's highlights, even with the unnecessary inclusion of Logan Paul.
  WINNER: The fans 
   
• The Fiend vs Randy Orton
  They played it safe with the Viper, giving him a maize-based side dish named "Randy Cornton" instead of something with snake meat in it. Bray Wyatt's alter ego the Fiend didn't get a recipe, but his new sidekick, the possessed Harley Quinn knockoff that is Alexa Bliss, got an entry called the "Green Goddess of WWE Salad". I hate anything involving Wyatt's low-budget Undertaker ripoff, so hopefully, Orton gets the win to end their stupid feud.
  WINNER: Randy Orton
  
  
• Intercontinental Championship - Big E (c) vs Apollo Crews
  As part of the New Day, Big E gets stuck with the "Booty O's Snack Mix" recipe. Apollo Crews doesn't get a recipe, but he does get a new gimmick as an African militant to go with his new heel turn. I'm giving the "W" to Crews though because I'm annoyed that they didn't give the New Day's resident flapjack fanatic a recipe for pancakes; putting Xavier Woods on the cover mixing up some pancake batter was a tease. Cue sad trombone.
  WINNER: Apollo Crews
  
  
• US Championship - Riddle (c) vs Sheamus
  I don't know what Matt Riddle's recipe would be if they had one for the cookbook, but I'm sure it would be something bro-tastic like a bro-logna sandwich or mac-a-broni with cheese - what else would you expect from WWE's resident bro? Sheamus naturally has a "Sheamus Shamrock Shake" recipe under his kilt made with Guinness, but the chocolate chips and mint ice cream in it ruin the drink for me, so I'm giving the win to the former UFC fighter with the stoner gimmick.
  WINNER: Riddle 
  
  
• Raw Women's Championship - Asuka (c) vs Rhea Ripley
  It's going to be interesting to see where in the women's title hierarchy Asuka's original Wrestlemania opponent Charlotte Flair will be once she returns to action. Even if they gave Rhea Ripley some sort of kickass punk rock bangers and mash or fish and chips recipe, it wouldn't measure up to her opponent's "Filet Mignon with Crab Asuka". Kudos to the recipe chooser for not going with sushi or ramen. 
  WINNER: Asuka
   
• Women's Tag Team Championship - Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler (c) vs. TBD
  Assuming the champs will face Natalya & Tamina (how come tag-teams no longer have names anymore?) for the belts, this will be the Wrestlemania moment they wanted. It's time for Jax and Baszler to move on to bigger and better things.
  WINNER: Natalya & Tamina
  
  
• Universal Championship - Roman Reigns (c) vs Edge vs Daniel Bryan
  Roman Reigns was still the Big Dog and not the Tribal Chief when the cookbook was released, so his recipe is "Roman Onion Rings" instead of something closer to his Samoan roots. Daniel Bryan doesn't get a vegan recipe despite actually living a vegan lifestyle for health reasons, instead getting an entry with his wife Brie Bella, "Baked Brie with Craniel Bryan Sauce". The unretired Edge doesn't have a recipe in the latest cookbook, so I'm basing my decision on his recipe for "Edge's Cocktail Party Meatballs" from the "Can You Take the Heat? The WWF Is Cooking!" cookbook. As good as it looks in the picture, cranberry-sauced Brie with crackers seems more suited for a wrestling book club than at Wrestlemania. They didn't bring Adam Copeland out of retirement for nothing, so even though I love a good onion ring, and Reigns' excellent run as champion, I'm going with the Rated R superstar's party balls. Let's see if they can squeeze one more title run out of him.
  WINNER: Edge