Monday, April 13, 2020

Commentary on Unpopular Food and Beverages Opinions

Looking for a way to blow off some pent-up cabin fever with whoever you're forced to spend time with while self-isolating? The Internet is filled with unpopular food-related opinions, so use some of these talking points the next time you feel the need to pick a fight with someone to break up some of the monotony. Just keep in mind that it may not be worth it if you end up self-isolating in a tent in the yard; like the President of the United States, this blog will not be responsible for the end of any friendships, engagements, or marriages.
  1. Pineapple is a legitimate pizza topping.
    This one always starts fights because there is no middle ground. You either love pineapple on a pizza, or you hate it with a passion. Pairing salty pork and sweet fruit makes sense, but putting it on a pizza does nothing for me.
  2. Ketchup should be fridge-cold.
    Even though I always stick the bottle of ketchup in the fridge after I open it, this is not a deal-breaker with me. Besides, it helps to cool off fresh out the fryer French fries before you jam them in your mouth.
  3. Ketchup be damned.
    I know that they don't like ketchup on hot dogs in Chicago, but you must really hate the taste of processed tomatoes to forego it completely. 
  4. Beer out of a can tastes weird.
    In theory, beer in a can should taste better than beer in a bottle as cans keep out all light and are completely airtight to ensure the beer never gets tainted. People assume they can taste the aluminum from the can when they take a sip, but the inside of beer cans have been lined with a thin layer of plastic since the 1930s, so maybe it's the plastic they object to. Luckily, this is a problem that can be solved by handing the person an empty glass.
  5. Mushrooms are disgusting.
    True, they are a fungus that grows on shit, but honey is basically bee vomit, and no one is up in arms about putting it on toast. 
  6. Strawberries get more credit than they deserve.
    Do the tarts, turnovers, and shortcakes strawberries make really steal the glory away from foods made from blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, and all the other berries? I don't really understand this strawberry hating. 
  7. Pickle juice is delicious, nutritious, and a treat for your mouth and body.
    It turns out that they really are a lot of health reasons to drink pickle juice. Athletes swear that drinking it helps relieve muscle cramps and that it replenishes electrolytes better than Gatorade, among other things. I am sold on the idea that pickle brine is great for marinating chicken in, but otherwise, I'm not big on pickles as a whole, drinking the juice would be a big pass for me.
  8. Room-temperature butter is the truth.
    Bakers looking to get the flakiest of flaky pie crusts would disagree, but there's no denying that warm butter is easier to spread on toast. 
  9. "I hate avocados, but I love guacamole."
    This describes my feelings about avocados perfectly, without any seasonings, I can't eat avocado, just as I can't eat a burrito without guacamole.
  10. Brunch is not bad, but it is dramatically overrated.
    Going out to brunch - those were the days. Anyone who believes brunch is more trouble than it's worth has either read "Kitchen Confidential" or has waited a long time to get seated for brunch while hungover. Brunch was never a big thing in my life, it has to be a really great Eggs Benedict for me to get dressed up to go eat it. That said, I look forward to going to  Stoneface Dolly's for breakfast when we're allowed to eat in restaurants again.
  11. Liver is beautiful, the most underrated food of all time.
    A bold statement considering how people stick out their tongues in disgust after just hearing the word "liver", but there has to be a reason why liver and onions can still be found on the menu in some diners and restaurants. To my knowledge, I've never eaten liver; maybe it's time to remedy that while on lockdown - I'll keep you posted.
  12. Watermelon is disgusting.
    The racial overtures that are associated with black people and watermelon is disgusting, but the fruit itself? It is nice in a fruit salad, try grilling it to bring out its natural sweetness.
  13. Nuts in chocolate is really, really, wrong.
    This is only a problem if you have a nut allergy, as it's not that hard to find nut-free chocolate. I would have thought chocolate-covered raisins would have caused more of an uproar, but I guess Raisinets are more popular than I ever imagined.
  14. Rare steak sucks.
    If the idea of ordering a piece of meat that's still mostly red when you cut it offends you, consider that some people like to order their steak blue, seared on the outside, and completely raw inside. A steak cooked that way has an internal temperature that hovers around 50 degrees Celsius, compared to a medium-rare that roughly ten degrees hotter. If anything, my only concern is whether or not you put ketchup on it, because come on...
  15. Bacon is very good but… like… it’s not THAT good.
    I pretty much said as much back in one of my Works hamburger reviews. Fried pork is tasty, but it's not the end-all, be-all of food.
  16. Tea sucks.
    For years I was a dedicated tea drinker, having a cup of orange pekoe in the morning with my parents at breakfast. Then I got a job with people who only drank coffee at break, and from then I never looked back. I wouldn't go as far as to say tea is horrible, maybe a person just needs exposure to different teas.
  17. "I can’t stand pizza with tomato sauce."
    As a traditionalist, I would have to ask them what sauce they prefer if they aren't messing with tomato sauce. Bechamel is a popular alternative, along with pesto, BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, or chili sauce. I'd be willing to try one of these different sauces on a slice, but for me to swear off regular pizza sauce, it has to be one helluva of a great sauce.
  18. Meat is overrated.
    I'm assuming this is the opinion of the hardest of hardcore vegans and vegetarians. I'm always surprised at how good the food is when I do eat something vegetable-based, but unless it's for health reasons, I don't see why I wouldn't want to eat meat.
  19. Cake is not that good.
  20. Chocolate ice cream is absolutely disgusting.
  21. Vegetables are better than dessert.
    Who the hell is saying any of this?!? I'll give you that vegetables are very tasty when they're not boiled to a flavorless mush, that chocolate is not everyone's favourite ice cream, and that some people prefer other pastries. But this is just food trolling.
  22. "I don’t like Nutella."
    As popular as the chocolate-hazelnut spread is, it's not something I keep in the pantry myself. I can see why it has its detractors, everyone has their limits on how much sweet that can take. For those who can't get enough of the stuff,  here's a recipe from "The 4-Hour Chef" on how to make your own Nutella in case the grocery store runs out:
  23. DIY Nutella
    200 g canned hazelnut-praline paste (order it from Amazon)
    100 g softened unsalted butter
    75 g melted choclate (preferly 64% cacao bittersweet)
    1. Mix the hazelnut-praline paste and the butter with an immersion blender in a deep bowl until smooth
    2. Add the chocolate and beat until it's smooth again.
    3. Store in an airtight container in a dark, dry place at cool room temperature for 3 months.

24 Hour Perogies

In a place known as the City That Fun Forgot, it's no surprise that there's not much happening in Ottawa late at night. The House o...