Working My Way Through The Works: Son of a Beech

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Avocado, Beechhouse sauce, sundried tomato & feta cheese."
March 25, 2024

I'm overdue for writing about these burgers. So much so that I can't help but notice a lot has changed around the site of my favourite Works location. I see some businesses have come and gone from the surrounding strip mall. Somehow they managed to wedge in a new supermarket across the parking lot from the Works.  The most concerning addition to the area, however, has to be the arrival of a new McDonald's. Having a place famous for selling billions of cheap burgers a year in your backyard can't be good for any business that sells similar food - how does one counter Rotten Ronnie's fast-food fixings? You can start by offering a better burger.  I went with the Son of a Beech,featuring the Works' own Beechhouse sauce. As burger sauces go, this is one of the better ones. The sun-dried tomato added a nice bit of tangy sweetness to the burger, which worked well with the saltiness of feta. I'm still not a fan of non-guacamole avocado being added to my hamburger, but I didn't mind the slab that came with my meal this time. No complaints either about the French fries, I'm glad the server suggested adding some gravy on the side to go with them. I did take issue with the shrinkflation that affected the size of my burger patty; if you must skimp on the meat, at least put it on a smaller bun. Overall, I was happy I decided to get lunch here. This was the busiest I've seen this location mid-afternoon, and judging by the laughter I heard from the back of the house, if the staff is worried about competition from the Golden Arches, they're not showing it. I don't know what the future holds for this location, but it's good to see and taste that they're not going out without a fight.

3.5 of 5 stars - head and shoulders better than my last burger experience here.

Working My Way Through The Works: Gotta Be KD

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road))
Burger Description:"Kraft Dinner & cheddar"
($19.34)

September 20, 2022

Kraft Dinner is bullshit. The macaroni pie my mom would make for Sunday dinners spoiled KD for me forever. I assume the only reason people eat it is that it's cheap and they don't know how to make a proper cheese sauce. When I finally tried the stuff in the blue and yellow box, I never understood its appeal. I don't care what Barenaked Ladies say, "If I Had A Million Dollars" I wouldn't eat that crap ever again. I will admit, seeing all that orange gooeyness on my burger patty made me hope that I would at least get a lot of cheese flavour in my first bite. But the low expectations I had for this meal were quickly met. It didn't taste any cheesier than if I had ordered a regular cheeseburger. Biting into the hamburger, the macaroni added a weird mouthfeel that I was not a fan off. I tried some of the pasta separately. It was like flavourless orange packing foam. As with actual Kraft Dinner, the only way to eat this was with lots of ketchup. Paying almost $20 for something with Kraft mac and cheese on it is ridiculous - the best part of this lunch was the French fries. I get that it's not practical or realistic to expect something a Sicilian grandmother would have made from a burger joint but even using good-tasting macaroni and cheese seems like a mistake to me as a hamburger topping. This is easily the worse hamburger I've eaten so far from the Works. Recommended only for pregnant women with very specific cravings.

1 out of 5 stars

Working My Way Through the Works: Kamikaze

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description:"Jalapeno, chipotle & banana peppers, cheddar cheese & hotter than hell sauce"
April 14, 2022

How hot is too hot? Depends on the person doing the tasting. Some people need to have their eyes watering and sweat coming out of every pore in order to enjoy their meal. Others will consider their food ruined if anything hotter than a cinnamon heart touches their tongue. The burning feeling people get in their mouths when eating peppers comes from a chemical in the peppers that activate a protein that senses heat. This chemical is capsaicin, and when activated, it sends a message to the brain which then sends a jolt of pain back to the affected part of the body. When it comes to spicy food, it's best to err on the side of caution, especially if you're a restaurant that wants repeat business. For this reason, I asked for the hot sauce to be served on the side and was pleased to discover that's how the sauce normally comes with the Kamikaze. A quick taste revealed it was a Thai-style chili sauce with a bit of sweetness to offset its heat - definitely not hotter than hell. I poured a bit of the sauce on the middle of the top bun and dribbled some more on the spot where I was going to take my first bite. The peppers were a nice addition to the burger, with the sauce acting as spicier ketchup. While a bit of sweat did appear on my brow and bald head while eating, it wasn't a crazy amount of heat, just enough for you to notice that it was present. Overall, this cheeseburger was what you want when you looking to try something a bit more peppery than usual - it will open up your sinuses but it will leave your colon intact. 

4 out of 5 stars - those wanting more heat can add their go-to hot sauce to it.   

Working My Way Through The Works: Hamburger Mary

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description:"Real mayo, egg, tomato, cheddar cheese & bacon"
($12.09 + tax)

October 30, 2021

Whether it's from a quail, a duck, or a chicken, if you want to fancy up a dish, you put an egg on it. Why? People on cooking shows always rave about how it adds a nice creaminess to whatever food it's placed on, and it looks so pretty seeing the bright yellow yolk burst out of the fluffy whiteness surrounding it. Still, seeing it on a hamburger is still odd to me, so on my long-overdue return to the Works, I decided to go with the Hamburger Mary.  This was the first time my wife and I have been to a restaurant together since the province lifted the COVID-19 pandemic capacity limits. It didn't take long before we were seated after we were screened for proof of vaccination, a process that wasn't as time-consuming or invasive as the anti-vaccine crowd would have you believe. Biting into my hamburger when it arrived was a bit of a surprise for me as I was expecting my first bite to end with egg yolk dribbling into my beard. But the fried egg on my patty was more like biting into the egg of a breakfast sandwich from a fast-food place, rubbery and firm. I don't usually put mayo on my hamburgers, so I couldn't tell if the healthy dollop of mayonnaise on my bun was homemade or from a jar. Everything else about the burger was fine - the patty was cooked, the Cheddar cheese and bacon added flavour, and the tomato slice added freshness to every bite. As always, I went with the onion rings with Beechhouse sauce as my side. Overall, it was a decent cheeseburger, but putting an egg on it didn't elevate it as much as you would expect it to. I now get why chefs use cooking eggs to test a new employee's cooking technique - if you can't get the timing and temperature for a fried egg right, don't bother adding it to a hamburger.

2.5 out of 5 stars 

Working My Way Through The Works: (Ten Burgers in) SK8R Boy

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

May 12, 2020
Burger Description: "Peanut butter, jack cheese & bacon"
($18.28)

The original plan for this review was supposed to be completely different. I was going to celebrate hitting a double-digit number of these entries by eating at a different Works than the two locations I normally go to, but COVID-19 changed that for the foreseeable future. I couldn't eat the burger I wanted to review as the "Living on the Vedge" has been removed from the menu. So I'm going with a burger I've eaten back in the days before I blogged about food while seeing what all the fuss food delivery services are about after being a longtime holdout.  I had planned to do a pick up at the Orleans location, but The Works' website doesn't offer that service to its Ottawa area locations. Skip The Dishes, Don Draper's favourite service when he pretends to be Canadian is the default delivery option for all the local Works restaurants, but depending on the location, DoorDash and UberEats are also available.  Downloading the app to my phone was easy, and placing the order was straightforward. The app said my food would arrive ASAP, and 31 minutes later, the doorbell rang, and my food was there on the doorstep as I had instructed them to do. What arrived was the Avril Lavigne themed SK8R Boy - remember when people pretended to be appalled that she didn't know who David Bowie was back when she was the next big thing? My hamburger came with a healthy amount of peanut butter, so much I couldn't taste the jack cheese. Not tasting the cheese defeats the purpose of ordering a cheeseburger. The ghetto peanut sauce worked well with the bacon, and it gave the burger the expected nutty flavour, but it needed the kick that makes peanut sauce what it is. The peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth, which was a feeling I don't normally associate with hamburgers. Maybe that was why it was as filling and oddly addictive as it was. The onion rings were crunchy, flavourful, and in my opinion, very underrated as a side order. This is a burger that you need to be in the mood. It was interesting to eat, but I wouldn't order one again. To paraphrase the song it's named after, I say see you later boy, this burger wasn't good enough for me.

2.5 out of 5 stars - You'll get a well-cooked burger, but your enjoyment depends on your love of nut butter.

Working My Way Through The Works: Smokey Mountain

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Smokey BBQ sauce, jack cheese & bacon"
($15.91)

January 28, 2020
It's been a while since I've done one of these - it's good to get back on the burger beat again. Today's hamburger choice was inspired by a podcast I like to listen to. "Jim Cornette's Drive-Thru" is a show where former professional wrestling personality Jim Cornette answers questions about professional wrestling and the pro wrestling industry. He brings a lot of knowledge to these questions as he has worked as a wrestling manager, agent, booker, color commentator, promoter, trainer, and in-the-ring performer for over 30 years. As I was driving home listening to his podcast, he was talking about one of his favourite subjects (other than how much he hates modern wrestling), the promotion he started back in the early 90s called Smoky Mountain Wrestling. SMW followed Cornette's vision that pro wrestling was about good guys battling bad guys through legit athletic competition, and not about outlandish cartoon characters or edgy sex-based storylines or putting people wrapped in barbed wire through tables. Alas, the company folded after four years and has played a factor in making Cornette the controversial curmudgeon that he is today. After fast-forwarding through his latest rant, I decided to order the Smokey Mountain to eat while watching some Smoky Mountain Wrestling, just to see if the fuss he makes about how old-school 'rassling is better than today's product has merit. Heading over to YouTube, I found the very first episode of SMW's television show from February of 1992. There were some familiar faces in action, such as Robert Gibson of the Rock N Roll Express, "Prime Time" Brian Lee, and Barry Horowitz; the main event featured Bobby Fulton of the Fantastics against the Russian Bear Ivan Koloff. And of course, there was Cornette, doing what he does best, talking people into the building, and riling them up with his words. There were no elaborate entrances, no pyrotechnics, and no Jumbrotrons like you see on today's wrestling shows. The matches themselves were nothing special with the star getting the pin over the less popular wrestler with the usual exaggerated punches, kicks, and holds. It was a lot like my hamburger - even though the patty was cooked well done, and the bacon was salty and crunchy, and the cheese melted nicely, and BBQ sauce was spicy, it was still just a bacon cheeseburger with a sauce that reminded me of something I can get from the grocery store. And if that's what you're in the mood for, you will be happy with what you get ordering the Smokey Mountain.  As for Jim Cornette and Smoky Mountain Wrestling, I get that wrestling is still real to a lot of people, and that they long for the days of kayfabe, but at some point, it stops being noble to want to put the toothpaste back into the tube - sometimes you have to accept that the past is the past for a reason.

Smokey Mountain
2.5 out of 5 stars - OK, but there are more interesting items on the menu

Smoky Mountain Wrestling
2.5 out of 5 stars - OK, but I enjoyed watching local promotion C4 Wrestling more

Working My Way Through The Works: Blues Burger

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Blue cheese, blue cheese ranch & bacon"
($11.97)

September 24, 2019
I wasn't planning to review the Blues Burger today, I only made the change after scanning the Lunch Menu specials. Blue cheese has as many detractors as it does defenders.  My wife and son aren't fans of its smell or the idea that it contains mold, but they do like its sharp and salty flavours when I add a bit of it to the cheese sauce I use when making macaroni and cheese. Today I sat in a booth with such great lighting overhead, I wished I was a better photographer. For the first time, I noticed the burger patties for the Lunch Menu look smaller than the other offerings available, but given that they are cheaper than the other burgers available, that's not surprising. The bacon added its usual salty smokiness. While there was lots of the blue cheese dressing on my hamburger, there was only a sprinkling of actual blue cheese. The ranch dressing was a bit on the watery side, but I was surprised at how much blue cheese flavour I got in every bite.  Overall, if you like blue cheese, and you're hungry between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., you owe it to yourself to give this a try.

4 out of 5 stars - So good you'll wonder why it wasn't named after local boy and legendary Blues Brother Dan Aykroyd.

Working My Way Through the Works: First Date

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters St.)
Burger Description: "Sauteed mushrooms, diced tomatoes, garlic & brie cheese"
($16.18)
August 13, 2019
Having celebrated my anniversary early this month completely influenced my decision to order a burger called the First Date. I'm not sure why it has this name. Is it a good burger to order when on a first date? Are the toppings supposed to impress your date? Sauteed mushrooms are always good on a burger, and tomato and garlic always go well together, I guess that shows you have a grown-up palate; the fresh tomatoes conveys your health-conscious, which a lot of people look for in a potential partner. I still remember how I meet my wife. It was the summer of 2002. After texting one another on Lavalife (the Tinder of its day), we had agreed to meet face to face to see "Men in Black II". I remember spotting her when I arrived at the theatre, she was seated at a table, deeply engrossed in a book she had brought. The book intimated me. I was already feeling nervous meeting this woman with the striking profile picture that caught my eye, I feared that she would pull out her book and go back reading at a moments notice during our date if I didn't make a good impression immediately. What impressed me about my hamburger was the size of my patty, this was easily the biggest hamburger patty I've received to date. It was so large my burger fall apart on me, with the wetness of the toppings not helping matters. That aside, everything came together nicely with this hamburger. As for my first date with my future wife, I must have been particularly charming, as the book was put in her purse after I introduced myself and didn't make another appearance for the rest of the evening.

3.5 out of 5 stars - It just may be the best part of your date.

Working My Way Through The Works: The Tom Green

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Monterey Jack cheese, Beechhouse sauce, bacon & fresh avocado"
($16.61, plus tax)
July 28, 2019

For the uninformed, Tom Green became a celebrity with a show on Ottawa college radio in the early nineties, which lead to a rap career, and an eponymous show on local cable access television that was picked up by the Comedy Network and then MTV. From that, he starred in movies, married and divorced Drew Barrymore, appeared on Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice", and has a host of comedy projects and a tour on the go, with a recent appearance at Yuk Yuks. While Green has received a lot of local and international attention over the years, I can't say I was ever a fan. The one episode of his show on Rogers I saw featured him interviewing a butcher who sang while he worked, and some skit involving him wrapping his head in tinfoil and stumbling up Bank St. bothering anyone unlucky enough to be in his path. I worked with a different singing butcher at the time so the novelty of the interview escaped me, and I've seen more entertaining examples of man-on-the-street buffoonery on television. I've heard stories of him bringing substitute teachers and donut shop patrons to tears of distraction with his schtick, and how he used his radio show to badmouth people who got fed up with him and his antics. I myself recall a member of his entourage (one of his high school friends I'm sure) wanting to engage me in a conversation about how big his penis was while we were in the coat check line at Barrymore's a few years back; I saw Green off to the side with an embarrassed look on his face as I left him and his pornstar pal to themselves. With him lending his celebrity to bring attention to the horrible addition to the Chateau Laurier that has many in the city up in arms, I decided to try the burger named after him. Cheese always makes a hamburger better in my opinion, and the Tom Green burger I received in my takeout order was very cheesy. There was bacon on it because everyone adds bacon to everything and because adding ham or fried baloney to a hamburger named after a comedian might be considered insulting. The avocado was added but wink-wink, nudge-nudge, it was green. I'm over having avocado on a burger - it adds nothing but a mushy texture to the sandwich, which can be improved upon by using guacamole instead. The standout on the burger was the Beechhouse sauce, a garlicky, creamy vegetable-based mayo made in-house, which works great as a burger topping and as a dipping sauce. I regret not ordering extra for the onion rings I added to my meal. To sum up, my meal reminded me of Green's movie "Road Trip" - it was better than I expected it to be and it had its moments, but I wouldn't choose it again in favor of other items on the menu. I may never get the popularity of Tom Green, but Ottawa's favourite class clown does have a decent burger named after him.

3 out of 5 stars - Pair it with the Tom Green Beer if you're a hardcore fan.

Working My Way Through The Works: Beyond A Hipsters Wildest Dreams

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "The worlds first plant-based burger patty, Beyond Burger, topped with caramelized onions, avocado & Havarti cheese."
($16.96)

June 26, 2019
Plant-based meat substitutes are a hot commodity right now in the food world, with every burger joint offering some sort of combination of vegetable protein, canola oil, and flavourings in patty form. At the Works, you get two choices of Beyond Meat burger. I went with the one with cheese on it. My last experience with fake meat didn't go well, as a veggie/tofu hot dog I tried at the Experimental Farm left a lot to be desired. It was less sausage and more a tube-shaped mush with a bun and condiments wrapped around it. I hoped my luck would improve on a particularly busy day for lunch; it's never a good sign when you overhear the servers apologizing for slow service. When my lunch arrived, I gave it more of a once-over than I usually would. I couldn't tell if my patty looked like what I expect a grilled burger to look like under all the melted Havarti and grilled onions. I did see some grill marks on the sides of it, and I didn't want to deconstruct the burger anymore than I had to as it was already so messy.  Though my burger didn't smell like what I've come to expect from a burger, it also didn't smell like something made from peas, which was a plus. The first bite of my lunch took me by surprise, as it had a familiar mouthfeel and texture of a beef patty. Looking at it after biting into it, it didn't "bleed" like a meat patty would, and from the colour the patty, I would have guessed it was cooked sous-vide style first, then grilled to make it more meat-like.

My next surprise was in the flavour. It tasted better than the veggie-dog, and didn't taste like something I knew was made out of plants. But it didn't taste like a juicy burger would either. It was good, but it didn't taste like meat, with the caramelized onions adding that umami flavour it lacked. The avocado didn't do anything other than made the burger messier to eat and would have been better if it was made into guacamole to give the burger more of a kick. Overall, I can see why people are excited about plant-based meat, and in retrospect, I should have ordered a salad as my side dish to complete my vegetarian experience. But in my humble opinion, they're still far from creating something that will satisfy my craving for meat; it was definitely not beyond this carnivore's wildest dreams.

2.5 out of 5 stars - Better than what I expected, but you won't forget you're not eating animal flesh.

Working My Way Through The Works: Dead Ringer

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Glebe (580 Bank St.)
Burger Description: "Smoked beef brisket, smokey BBQ sauce, jack cheese & an O-ring"
($11.97)

April 18, 2019
Like my last visit to this location, it wasn't very busy when I arrived on the Thursday before the Easter weekend. Considering how late it was when I arrived, this wasn't a bad thing. I immediately ordered from the lunch specials menu. My lunch came promptly, and I admired its lunchpail elegance while listening to CCR sing about a bathroom on the right. I got another sense of deja vu after my first bite, as it reminded of another hamburger I've ordered here, but with a spicier (and IMHO, better) BBQ sauce, and an onion ring instead of caramelized onions. Other than those changes, it was a dead ringer for a burger the Barking Cow; I see what you did there, well played. I raved about the Barking Cow, so I'm not going to say anything bad about the Dead Ringer. It was a particularly juicy burger, so I was gratefully when my server promptly appeared with extra napkins. I did a doubletake when I realized it was the same server as last time because I remembered his name is the same as my son's.  An appropriate way to end this satisfying out of burger experience.

5 out of 5 stars - A great burger that won't bust a hole in your pocket.

Working My Way Through 'The Works': Bacon You Fancy Huh?

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Aged white cheddar, thick cut maple bacon, bacon roasted tomatoes, arugula & mayo"
($17.27)

April 10, 2019
This is the first burger I've reviewed from the Works' Top Ten Menu, though online, they only show nine burgers. I'll assume it's because no one wants to constantly update the website. The web developer in me finds this lazy and an ineffective way to get information to clients, but the hungry blogger in me knows that restaurants are supposed to be more concerned about food than web content. My burger arrived within 20 minutes, a reasonable time considering how late I arrived during lunch service. I didn't want to pass the time listening to the kitchen staff belting out the tunes piped into the place, so I listen to some podcasts on my phone.  As you can see, they really went heavy with the arugula, but I was too hungry to move it to the other bun for a better picture; there was a lot of bacon under all that salad.  Remember when bacon wasn't the food end-all be all? Bacon suddenly became the ultimate cooking cheat. Need a way to make something taste better?  Wrap it with bacon. Adam Conover of "Adam Ruins Everything" fame believes the hype around bacon is all part of a marketing scheme between fast food companies and pork producers. Who am I to question someone with their own TV show, but I didn't need much convincing that I liked bacon after I tasted it when could chew solid foods - as a kid my favourite was the bacon rind on the slices my parents used to buy from Saslove's in the Market. I don't know how thick the bacon on my lunch was cut, but I can say there was bacon in every bite I had, it was layered it in such a way that I got a taste of salty pork flavour every time.  Bacon roasted tomatoes could mean they wrapped tomatoes with bacon and roasted them, or chopped up the tomatoes and cooked them in bacon grease. Either would be an acceptable end to a mean. Like with meat, aging brings out the flavour in cheese and its sharpness, and it tasted good in this hamburger. I know bacon mayonnaise exists, I'm amazed they didn't add it to this for even more bacon flavour. I didn't get that peppery taste from the arugula, in spite of the amount on my burger. Overall it was an enjoyable hamburger. Pricey, but you get what you pay for. Goes well with a tower of onion rings.

4 out of 5 stars - A good splurge burger to upgrade to when the restaurant Dave Thomas named after his daughter isn't selling the Baconator.

Working My Way Through 'The Works': Barking at My Cow

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception, as these are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Smoked brisket, Barking Squirrel Beer BBQ sauce, caramelized onions, jack cheese & bacon"
($17.27)

The Barking at My Cow

March 6, 2019
Most of the burgers I've eaten at The Works have been from this location. I wouldn't say I'm a regular here though. Once my family and I walked out after being ignored in an empty restaurant on a lazy afternoon. I vented to management, they apologized, and after a couple of months, I went back. Because you got to give a place you like a second chance; like their customers, restaurants have their off moments. I arrived for this meal at around 12:30, and was surprised at how busy it was for a place tucked away in the suburbs. I'll have to remember to get here earlier, this was the crowd I excepted for lunch at the Glebe location. Twenty minutes later, my Barking at My Cow lunch arrived. My first bite was juicy, with the brisket layer an excellent companion to the beef patty. The bacon added a salty, crunchy texture that is always a welcoming addition. I usually go with cheddar when it comes to cheese on a hamburger, but I was fine with the Monterey Jack. As BBQ sauces go, Barking Squirrel makes great beer, though the sauce's spiciness did blend nicely with the sweetness of the onions. Everything about this burger worked for me. This is what you want when you go out to a fancy hamburger joint. I would have loved to have paired a pint my meal with a Barking Squirrel lager but I was teleworking, and I don't drink on the job. Of all the burgers I've eaten here, and of the two I've written about, this is the best I've had to date.

5 out of 5 stars - The burger every other burger will be judged against; this is the measuring stick.

Best song heard while eating: The Who, "I Can See For Miles"

Working My Way Through 'The Works': B.A.B Burger

The WORKS Glebe (580 Bank St.)
The B.A.B Burger ($15.96)

The B.A.B.

A common gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every popular item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. Today I begin the task of eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.  I went to the location that's closest to my office. Hardly anyone was there when I arrived just after noon, looks like I arrived ahead of the lunch rush. The friendly server who greeted me told me to sit anywhere, so I chose a window seat. However, there wasn't much to see at this end of the Glebe - I wondered if it was as sleepy when this location housed a punk rock venue called Bumpers. With so many choices on the menu, I decided to start alphabetically with the B.A.B burger, a beef burger with Cheddar cheese, fresh tomato, red onion & W Sauce. The B.A.B stands for "Big American Bully" because previously, it had "a name that was kind of similar to another brand's, particularly one with a red-headed, makeup-wearing Stephen King-esque villain", and they had to change it, according to the person who runs their Facebook page. The W sauce is a trade secret, but I could tell there's garlic in it, so I'll assume it's an aioli-like sauce similar to the one the mayor of Flavortown puts on his food. 12:21PM, and still no food, but after a trip to the bathroom, I saw my lunch was waiting for me on my return; I was as happy as Uma Thurman was in "Pulp Fiction" after she returned to her table at Jack Rabbit Slim's (no, I did not powder my nose). The hamburger didn't look anything like that clown restaurant's signature burger, and it didn't taste like it either. The tomato was as flavourful as a fresh tomato can be in the winter, the red onions added their usual sweetness. The W sauce didn't improve or take away from the well-done patty it was on, but getting a small bowl on the side made for a good dipping sauce for the onion rings I ordered.  Overall, I was happy with what I ate, it didn't blow me away (for that, I'd have to order one of the more exotic creations on the menu), but it didn't leave me with that greasy, queasy feeling you can get from eating at Rotten Ronnie's. For that reason alone, we're off to a good start.

3 out of 5 stars - decent, but nothing to write home about.

In honour of the Hamburglar

At the beginning of February of this year, the chances of the Ottawa Senators making the playoffs were dead in the water. With their starting and backup goalies out with injuries, the team was forced to rely on an unknown call-up from the farm team. Fast forward to today - the Senators are playing their best hockey in months, and are playing the Montreal Canadiens in the first round of the playoffs. This is in part due to the play of Ottawa's newest hockey hero, Andrew "Hamburglar" Hammond. In honour of his success, I thought it would be as good a time as any to celebrate the food he got his nickname from, the hamburger.

There are almost as many claims to the origin of the hamburger as they are toppings for a burger, and meats used to make the patty. As it turns out, people have been enjoying ground meat placed inside a sliced bun since the late 1800s. Whether the patty is thin or thick, square or round, you can get a hamburger pretty much anywhere. Burger purists will insist that a hamburger should only be ground beef and seasoned with salt and pepper. These people should be ignored, as a tasty burger can contain binders like eggs or breadcrumbs; be seasoned with onions, soy sauce, Thousand Island dressing, or Worcestershire sauce; and be made with ingredients such as ground lamb, bison, and salmon; or meat substitutes like tofu, or textured vegetable protein. Below is the recipe I use when I'm in the mood for some hamburgers - try and resist throwing your burger on the ice as part of a victory celebration. Go Sens Go!

Ingredients

570g ground beef (don't use lean ground beef, burgers need fat for flavour and moistness)
1 egg
breadcrumbs
onion soup mix
Worcestershire sauce
ketchup
salt and pepper

1. Combine in a bowl the ground beef with the egg, the contents of the onion soup package, a dusting of breadcrumbs, a few shakes from the Worcestershire bottle, and a few shakes/squirts from the ketchup bottle. Mix everything together with your hands. Add more breadcrumbs if you think your mixture needs it.
2. Form the meat into patties, and sprinkle both sides with salt and pepper.
3. Whether you're cooking the burger using a grill, or pan-frying them, flip it only once. You're looking at about 3 minutes per side for rare, 4 minutes for medium, or 5 minutes for well-done.
4. Put the burger in either a bun (or in between some toast for a patty melt), and top with your choice of condiments, vegetables, and toppings.