I Watched This So You Wouldn't Have To: "Iron Chef USA: Showdown in Las Vegas" featuring William Shatner

In the early 1990s, there was a popular Japanese cooking show called "Iron Chef". The premise involved a man named Chairman Kaga assembling an arena where gourmet chefs from around the world competed in a timed contest against one of his Iron Chefs, masters of various international cooking styles.  The show became a surprise hit in North America when subtitled (later overdubbed) episodes started airing on stations around the U.S. After the show ended in 1999, an American version was attempted in 2001, featuring Star Trek's Captain Kirk. How does William Shatner figure into something like this? I couldn't wait to remove the shrinkwrap from the DVD I had in my possession to find out.

• The DVD contains the two specials created for the old UPN network. I don't remember when I bought this DVD but I assume it was done in a state of extreme intoxication or pop culture-induced euphoria.
• This was filmed at the MGM Grand in Vegas I guess during one of the rare times a UFC fight wasn't happening.
• As William Shatner explains the show's concept, the idea that he has his own culinary academy is ridiculous.
• I wonder if Shatner requested the purple and black pimp suit he's wearing for this.
• "Turn up the heat!" Shatner exclaims to kick off the show.
• Should I be surprised one of the show's commentators has the last name of Burger?
• According to this Michael Burger, his co-host Anthony Dias Blue is one of the foremost authorities on food and restaurants; I've never heard of either guy before in my life.
• To prove how much of a food authority he is, we see Big Willy Shatner strutting into Kitchen Arena behind a platoon of chefs and watch as he dismisses one of the chefs that will be helping in this competition because he didn't like how his chef's whites look - someone must have told Shatner to act like as if he's still an Admiral in Starfleet. 
• "Good evening food lovers everywhere!"
• Shatner summons his Iron Chefs, and we see the four men appear on a rising stage. 
• We learn that Jean Francois Meteigner is the French Iron Chef and he operates two celebrated restaurants in Los Angeles.
• Alessandro Stratta is the Italian Iron Chef. From the look on his face, he wants to be anywhere other than Kitchen Arena.
  
• The Asian Iron Chef is Roy Yamaguchi, dubbed the Samurai of Stirfry by Shatner. I bet he called him Sulu at least once during the taping of these specials.
• Todd English rounds out the team as Iron Chef American. As celebrity chefs go, he flies under the radar despite having several restaurants and cookbooks under his belt.
• The audience is doing a lot of cheering but I'm sure they have no idea why they're doing so, as all they're seeing are 4 chefs standing on a stage. I refuse to believe people brought signs for a cooking show that just debuted.
  

Burger: "What an assembly of talent, it's amazing!"
Blue: "It sure is."
Burger: "And if you think about this, it's kinda like having Michael Jordan, Wilt Chamberlain, Larry Bird, and Shaq all in one room!" 

• No, it is most certainly not. There's not even a tall black guy on the stage.
  
• The challenger is Kerry Simon, the rock and roll chef. He enters the cooking arena on the back of a motorcycle because of course he does.
• Why is he the rock and roll chef? Because he started out as a musician before he started cooking professionally. At one point, Rolling Stone magazine called him one of the world's hottest personalities.
• In a pretaped segment, Simon talks about the pressure of competitive cooking and acknowledges it's a lot different than cooking at home. He credits "being grounded " as one of the keys to his success, along with mastering every recipe in Julia Child's repertoire - he cooked everything in "Mastering The Art Of French Cooking" before it was trendy.
• David Bowie proposed to his wife Iman in the kitchen of one of Simon's restaurants - how rock-n-roll is that Burger gushes. "Not very." is my response.
  
• Shatner asks who Simon wants to battle and after an appropriate dramatic pause, he chooses to face the American Iron Chef, a good choice as he seems to be the only chef who is comfortable with being on camera. The crowd goes wild when English accepts.
• We hear more about English's background, learning that he graduated from the Culinary Institute of America and that he is a fierce competitor.

Blue: "You know that he originally wanted to be a baseball player, but his career was cut short by injury."
Burger: "So now you can say he stands behind a different kind of plate."
Blue: "Yes, that's very cute."

• Blue isn't here for Burger's bad puns and bullshit.
• Shatner explains to the competitors and the audience the rules: each chef has to prepare at least 5 dishes in 60 minutes, with each dish having an unknown secret ingredient as part of it. Fifty percent of the grade is based on taste, 25 % on presentation, and 25 % on originality.
• The cooking begins when Chairman Shatner reveals tonight's secret ingredient: Dungeness crab. A gong sounds and we see a mad dash to a large tank as the chefs and their assistants hurriedly scoop up the crustaceans.
• Burger saying this is "the Superbowl of cooking" is a huge stretch, 15-yard penalty for hyperbole.
• Calling the action in Kitchen Arena is Sissy Biggers who apparently is no stranger to the world of professional cooking and kitchens (I had to Google to learn she's hosted food-related shows in the past).  Biggers says it's a "real pressure cooker" on the floor and we see the audience is hyped for all the hot cooking action they will be seeing; right on cue, there's an enthusiastic cheer from the crowd.
• With Biggers hovering nearby we hear from Simon that his biggest concern prepping the crabs for cooking is to not get bitten by one of them  - I thought the bigger concern would be their claws, not their mouths.
• Burger channels his inner John Madden as they do a wide shot of Kitchen Arena and he starts circling different areas with a telestrator. You can't turn a cooking show into Monday Night Football, no matter how much you want to.
• Shatner is nowhere to be seen, and neither are the guys in chef's whites who I thought would be assisting the chefs in the competition. Simon and English's sous chefs are wearing grey and blue outfits respectively. 
• I'm not sure if English is loving this or mocking this competition by the way he's running around and playing to the audience and camera. For a rock and roll chef, Simon doesn't have much of a stage presence, not that focusing on your cooking is a bad thing. 
• They keep saying the competitors have to create original dishes for this cooking battle, but how are they going to know if they have ever cooked those dishes before?
• After asking what a sous chef is, it's clear that it's Blue's job to provide cooking explanations while it's Burger's responsibility to provide colour commentary
• Again, I forget that terms you hear regularly on the Food Network now weren't commonplace in 2001; Kitchen Confidential only debuted the previous year.
• As a way to give them more screen time, we see the other Iron Chefs watching the competition. Meteigner looks bored as fuck.
• Hearing Blue say hand mixers aren't common in American kitchens after seeing Simon using one shows how much has changed since the early 2000s. Simon is blending tomatoes, basil, olive oil, garlic, and red wine vinegar with said hand mixer.
• Biggers asks what English is whisking in his bowl. He plays coy and refuses to tell her for some reason. Blue assumes it's egg whites.
• Another pretaped segment highlights English's love of showmanship and sports metaphors with mentions of "razzle dazzle", and how he loves being "in the bottom of the ninth with two runs on".
• Now I'm certain English is mocking this contest, as all he's been doing for the last few minutes is whisking those egg whites and making faces at the crowd and the cameras. Someone must have reminded English that he has to cook something, as we now see him putting some crab meat on a grill.
• We see Simon adding some port to a pan full of figs while hearing the commentators marvel at how despite the pressures of the competition, both chefs' kitchens are still immaculately clean.
• Twenty minutes into the competition, we are introduced to the judges: famed comedy writer Bruce Vilanch; "Baywatch: Hawaii" star and Playboy Playmate of the Year Brande Roderick; actor Mark Famiglietti; and actress Elise Neal. I get why Vilanch was hired, but I don't get what the other judges bring to the table other than their limited celebrity.
• Speaking of limited celebrity, did you know Todd English was featured in the 2001 "50 Most Beautiful People" issue of People magazine? Now you do - you're welcome.
• At the thirty-minute mark, we see English has made a "crepe of some sort", according to Blue. The American Iron Chef mentions it's made with red cornmeal with some crab in it, but refers to it as a gateau. Take that, Jean Francois...
• Simon follows his rival's example as he blows off Biggers when she asks what he plans to do with some corn, diced red pepper, diced red onions, and pineapple in a pan.
• After having explained to him that the giant blender in the container with ice the camera has focused on is an ice cream maker, Burger is disturbed by the possibility of crab ice cream.
• He then does an unnecessary Christopher Walken impression that Blue completely ignores.
• We get a slow-motion replay of English flipping his cornmeal pan gateau. The commentators act as if he were Babe Ruth calling his shot in the World Series.

Burger: "There is no way you can do that in your house without getting your ceiling dirty!"

• Come on, man...
• Simon alerts some of his sous chefs that they need to turn around so the camera can see that they're huddling up to go over their plan of attack for the rest of the competition.
• Little Caesar's gets a plug as we learn Simon started rolling dough there at the age of 15. I don't know when Bill Murray ever worked at a pizza parlor, but when he did, it was with Kerry Simon. 
• We watch as Simon starts plating one of his dishes, which Blue guesses is crab ceviche.
• For the first time since he announced the secret ingredient, we see William Shatner, watching the contest with a look that says he can't believe he's getting paid to do this.
• In his pre-taped segment, it states that along with being a BIG TIME CELEBRITY, Shatner is also the founder and chairman of the American Culinary Academy and the creator of Kitchen Arena. A quick Google search shows there is no American Culinary Academy, instead, it takes you to information about the Culinary Institute of America, an actual culinary school that produces people who can cook and sometimes become BIG TIME CELEBRITIES.

Shatner: "Competition is the key! Chef against chef! Mano a mano! Survival...of the fittest! Totally rad!"

• Even by Shatner's standards that was over the top. Burger isn't helping any by saying Shatner is one of the "most fascinating culinary minds of our era". Blue immediately talks about what Simon is pulling out of a wok full of hot oil. We both assume it's a crab cake.
• You can almost hear Blue's eyes rolling as Burger calls the chinois strainer English is seen using the hat the Scarecrow wore in The Wizard of Oz.
• Simon pours some tequila into a bowl with some crab meat in it. Naturally for the rock and roll chef, he's using rock star Sammy Hagar's brand of tequila.
• Spot-on explanation about how ceviche is made by Blue.
• We see Shatner stroll into English's kitchen and help himself to a spoonful of caviar. His shit-eating grin shows it's good to be the Chairman and the Shat.
• English wisely plays up to Shatner, and after seeing the commentators gesturing, runs over to them and tosses them some caviar to sample as well. We don't see Blue's reaction, but Burger's not a fan.
• Twenty minutes remaining. English is seen handling a sea urchin to be used in a soup that will be served in a half coconut shell. A very tropical presentation.

Burger:"Is a sea urchin edible?
Blue: "There's a part of a sea urchin that's edible. You want to know what part it is?"
Burger:"What part is that?"
Blue:"It's called the gonads."

• Right on cue, a gong gets struck. Blue shouts "Yes!" and starts laughing - good to see he's getting into the spirit of things.
• We get another slow-motion reply, this time of English throwing a pinch of salt into a bowl from behind his back. It wasn't that impressive the first time.
• Fifteen minutes left in the competition, and we see Simon drizzling some of the concoction he made earlier onto some crab meat. English has pulled a layer cake from the oven made out of the pancakes he made.
• It must have smelled amazing in that studio.
• Burger claims he saw some sea urchin uni and roe in one of the kitchens just so he can say "sperm" and "love juices" on national television. After that, I bet Blue regretted saying how delicious uni was.
• Copper cooking pots are strongly recommended by Blue for home cooks because they conduct heat well. Sure they're expensive, but Blue assures us it's worth it in the long run.
• With ten minutes left, Simon amazingly has time for a phone call from Chef Jean-Georges Vongerichten. They didn't mention who this Vongerichten is (mentor? former employer? close personal friend?), or why he talking to Simon, but he's apparently important enough we get to witness their brief conversation.

Biggers: What is that?
Simon: This is a huitlacoche.
Burger: Doesn't she work with Queen Latifah? They got an album coming out with Destiny's Child, huitlacoche...

• Ugh, this fucking guy... To make up for that clunker, someone feeds Burger a description of what huitlacoche actually is. I'll buy Blue knowing this information, but there's no way Burger knew that off the top of his head.
• The final three minutes see the competitors hurrying to plate their entrees. For one of his dishes, English uses some of the shells of the crabs to build what Burger calls a crab condo.
• Simon does a good job of not showing how concerned he is about how long whatever he's making in the ice cream maker is taking.
• The audience is on its feet. No one should be that excited to see a chef put food on a plate unless they're going to eat that food themselves.
• Shatner leads the audience in a countdown of the final seconds.  A sous chef lights some sparklers that were added to English's crab shell constructs just as the clock ticks down.
• Simon looks at his opponent preening with his flaming dish and wonders why he didn't get some fireworks to use. Burger gushes over English's showmanship and questions Simon's confidence in his dishes to Blue's dismay.
• We see Shatner seated at a long table with the judges and he reminds them to "keep an open mind and an open mouth" when making their decisions.
• The rock n roll chef presents six dishes: melon soup; raw crab with garlic, ginger, and sesame oil; a Suzi Wong Cabo Wabo martini; crab cakes with huitlacoche; a spicy crab caramel dip; and sugared crab cakes with an Old Bay sorbet.
• Burger wonders how much the judges plan to eat. Blue reminds him that they have a lot of dishes to sample.
• Vilanch liked how the ingredients of the melon soup didn't complement each other but still worked. The two women also liked how well the sweetness of the melon worked in the soup.
• Famiglietti likes the raw crab dish despite "not being a fan of raw things". Neal is no sushi fan, but she said she liked some Japanese dishes, so we're not sure where she stands on the crab dish she had to judge.
• Burger asks what's in Vilanch's fridge at home. Apparently, it's the head of Anthony Hopkins to the amusement of the audience.
• The Suzi Wong Cabo Wabo martini was well-received taste-wise but lost points from Vilanch because he wasn't sure how you were supposed to eat it (you had to use what looked like corn chips to scoop the crab out of the martini glass and smear a sauce on everything). No explanation of who Suzi Wong is or what she means to the dish.
•  The addition of heirloom tomatoes inside the crab cakes elevated them "beyond the valley of crab cakes", according to Vilanch. They should have given him Burger's job.
• "It's great! Who would have thought caramel and crab?" said the Playboy centerfold. I concur, that seemed to be the oddest dish put forth.
  
  Burger: "I just enjoy Brandi eating, is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person?"
Blue: "...kinda."


• After asking for it. the slow-motion replay we get of Roderick eating confirms Burger is not only a bad person but also a very lonely man as well.
• The commentators seem to think Simon has pulled off making a dessert with crab but the judges haven't said as much yet.
• If watching Roderick eat got Burger excited, watching her lick her spoon after tasting the sorbet must have really gotten him going. He probably asked for a copy of that for later viewing.
  
  Burger: "Kerry, let me ask you a technical question, how did you cut the hole in the top of that crab shell?"
  Simon: "Uhh...with a knife."
  
  
• I'd declare Simon the winner just for that answer alone.
• Everyone but Vilanch gives the sorbet high praise, it was too strange for him. No one said anything about the sugary crab, however.
• Simon receives a standing ovation from the audience as he bows to the judges.
• The Iron Chef responds with six dishes of his own: a Dungeness crab ceviche; a 24-carat gold crustacean flan; a trio of crab soups; a crab leg brochette with a peach glaze; crab served in a small pumpkin; and a scallop and crab mousseline.
• I wonder if the person waving the American flag when English appeared got paid to do so, or is that heartfelt American patriotism. It could be both. 
• The ice bowls the ceviche was served in also had a dry ice component that added a "Star Trek effect"(simulating a beam out?) to the presentation. Vilanch thought the bowl was the "best thing to happen to ice since the Titanic". Neal and Roderick both liked their ceviche, though Neal thought it was too sweet for her taste.  Shatner liked English's blatant sucking up. 
• For such an alleged food authority, Big Willie Chairman's been awfully quiet.
• Gold leaf adds nothing to food other than the appearance of decadence. Famiglietti and Neal were bigger fans of the caviar, and the flan itself.
• English impresses everyone with his presentation as the bowls his trio of soups is being served in (the coconut shells seen earlier and some sea urchin shells) are getting as much praise as the soups themselves, a tortilla soup, a Thai-inspired red curry soup, and a crab nage. 
• The crab leg brochette was served in a contraption that simulated roasting on a grill. English is really pulling out all the stops in this, he took this a lot more seriously than I thought.
• The former baseball player swung and missed with the crab in the pumpkin shell entree as most of the judges find it too salty. Roderick mentioning she adds extra salt to her French fries got a huge cheer from the audience for some reason.
• The scallop and crab mousseline entree still had sparklers lit in it as it arrived at the table. It was spicy but well received.
  
  Vilanch: "You know, a dish like this makes me so happy that I'm such a fat pig."
  
  
• What more needed to be said? English took his bows, as the judges made their decisions and the totals were tallied up.
• Blue and Burger both commend the chefs on their efforts, saying it's too close to call in their opinion. Burger thought English backed up his showboating with his dishes, while Blue appreciated the subtle elegance of Simon's dishes.
• With his arms around each competitor's shoulders, Shatner announces the winner after the requite dramatic pause - Iron Chef American wins it for Iron Chef USA. The points breakdown shows Simon wasn't that far off from English in terms of originality and taste, but English's presentation was where he pulled ahead (97 points to Simon's 79). 
• English drinks in the accolades while Simon congratulates him. In the post-match interviews, Simon doesn't seem that upset over losing, saying it's all a part of the life experience. English is just happy that he finished and that his dishes turned out the way he hoped they would.

Shatner: "A lesson to be learned...do not shrink from individuality, take time to appreciate the unique qualities in yourself and others. Take time to use a different seasoning in your day or simply arrange your world in a unique way...appreciate every moment on the sweet green sphere remembering eating fuels the body...eating well fuels the soul. Never stop looking for the spice of life...good night."

• Of all the ways to end a cooking show, that was definitely one of them. Shatner must have been channeling Jerry Springer's Final Thought with that one. The credits roll as Burger and Blue wish us so long until next time.

BOTTOM LINE: As the original series and the versions that have appeared on Food Network and Netflix have shown, the concept of "Iron Chef" if done properly, is a fun and compelling show to watch. This take on "Iron Chef" just didn't work. Marketing "Iron Chef USA" as if it were a sporting event was a bad choice. For a cooking show, there wasn't a lot of focus on the actual cooking or the ingredients used, which was a major part of the show it was based on. Another part of the original show's appeal was the overdubbing into English that gave the show a quirky charm. They tried to replicate that with some Shatner wackiness, but unfortunately, they only got the bare minimum from Captain Kirk. Blue wasn't interesting enough to carry the show by himself, and Burger's dad jokes weren't funny enough to do so either. Maybe people were still processing the 9-11 attacks and weren't in the mood for a show like this.  As one of the commentators said early in the program, "Well, you know what they say: if you can't stand the heat, well, then change the damn channel." They only made one more episode of Iron Chef USA. Irony sure can be ironic sometimes.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

• Anthony Dias Blue went on to host the Blue Lifestyle Minute on WCBS and KNX.
• Michael Burger went on to host some game shows and was the warmup comedian for the live audience tapings for the sitcom "Hot in Cleveland " - knowing this makes me appreciate all the work Betty White did carrying that show even more.
• Todd English expanded his restaurant empire to the point where he is the 9th highest-earning chef in the world as of 2020, according to Wikipedia.
• Kerry Simon went on to open many restaurants, two of them in the Hard Rock hotels in Las Vegas and Punta Cana. Sadly he died in 2015 of multiple-system atrophy.
• William Shatner continues to do William Shatner things.

Anytime Summer Salad

As someone who has lived in Canada his entire life, I'll never understand people who like winter over summer. My hometown is the world's coldest capital city more often than not. You would think by now I would get accustomed to all the ice, slush, and snow that make every winter seem rougher and more frigid than the last, far from it.  I'm one of those people who never complain when the mercury rises above 30 degrees Celsius.  Mainly because I know windchills below 30 degrees Celsius will soon be a regular part of the forecast. For me, it's much easier to enjoy the weather when it's hot and sunny than when it's cold and dreary. Yes, there are bright days in the winter, but the cold saps any desire to be out in it for any longer than I have to. For those who also prefer the weather hot and muggy over bone-chillingly frigid hopefully, this recipe from one of my favourite cookbooks can take you back to the dog days of summer, or at least be a sweet and salty treat for after you're done shoveling your walkway.

Ingredients:

300 g fresh watermelon, cubed or scooped (yes, this would be better when watermelon is in season)
120 g feta cheese, cut into small pieces
40 g red onion, sliced as thin as possible, soaked and drained (water or vinegar will work)
15 g extra virgin olive oil
3 g balsamic vinegar (or 6 g lime juice)

•  Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl, making sure everything is coated.
• Play with the tastes by adding black olives for more saltiness; red pepper flakes for more heat; and mint leaves for their refreshing cooling effect.

Give The Gift Of A Good Meal

Rising food and housing costs; low wages; not enough work hours - people are relying on food banks more than ever before. According to a Feed Ontario report, the people in this province have been visiting food banks in greater numbers and in more frequency for six years running. Now more than ever, a donation to your local food bank would be greatly appreciated. As we head into the holiday season, a novel way to help the less fortunate this Christmas would be to create a reverse advent food calendar. As I posted on the Franklin on Food Facebook page, each day you would add an item to a box. On Christmas Eve, you then arrange for the box to be sent to a food bank. If this is something that appeals to you, here are the Passionate Penny Pincher's donation suggestions:

Remember to check the expiry date before you donate.

• December 1: box of cereal (whole grain if possible)
• December 2: peanut butter
• December 3: stuffing mix
• December 4: boxed potatoes
• December 5: macaroni and cheese
• December 6: canned fruit
• December 7: canned tomatoes
• December 8: canned tuna
• December 9: dessert mix
• December 10: jar of applesauce
• December 11: canned sweet potatoes
• December 12: cranberry sauce
• December 13: canned beans
• December 14: box of crackers
• December 15: package of rice (brown rice is needed most)
• December 16: package of oatmeal
• December 17: package of pasta
• December 18: spaghetti sauce
• December 19: chicken noodle soup
• December 20: tomato soup
• December 21: can of corn
• December 22: can of mixed vegetable
• December 23: can of carrots
• December 24: can of green beans

Random Thoughts About the Crave Food & Wine Festival

Ottawa is back in the food and wine festival game this year with the debut of the Crave Food & Wine Festival. These are the impressions my wife and I had on Day 1 of the latest version of the premier food and wine event in the nation's capital.

• After the fiasco from the last Food and Wine Festival, I assume the Shaw Centre and anyone else working this event got whatever money owed to them upfront.
• Unlike the last time we went to one of these shows, there weren't long lineups to get in, which is a plus. We arrived at the Shaw Centre after 7:30pm and were surprised at how few people we saw on the way to the main hall.
• Sample tickets were $1 each, with the suggested amount to start with being 20 tickets. With the price of admission for two tickets being over $70, it is still the money grab it always was.
• The dress code for this was chic casual which explains the woman I saw in sweatpants there; she had a Gwen Stefani from her No Doubt days vibe going, so I guess it met the criteria.
• There was a decent crowd to be found once we got to the main showroom, with enough people cluttered around the various vendors that you would want to wear a facemask while waiting for food if you were so inclined.
• I expected more in terms of presentation when I heard they were turning the show floor into a  series of themed sections.  I really couldn't tell which section was which.
• As usual lots of people used this event as an excuse to dress up. The gentleman in the orange suit stood out to me for obvious reasons.
• Dawn: "What's with all the leather pants?"
• Biggest sample I had: a delicious pad Thai from Green Papaya served in a large container that would normally contain bowling alley French fries. Ten tickets/dollars.
• Something as simple as a sign indicating how many tickets something costs would have been nice.
• Standout samples include a banh mi from an Indigenous vendor, a slider from one of two BBQ vendors present, and some fish cakes that reminded me of the ones my Bajan mom would make.
• If they were frying up some chicken wings, I would have made an effort to see what was happening at the Hot Ones^® Ginger Goat booth.
• We didn't get tickets for any of the demonstrations they had (that's extra), but we could enter the room and watch from afar. Maybe that's why the video screens were the size they were.
• There seemed to be a lot of food-related photo backdrops set up for people to use on social media. They really want this to be a place to be seen at.
• It's a big hall, maybe a few more tables for people to eat from?
• "Is that woman only wearing pantyhose?!?"
• Previous food and wine festivals let you keep your sample glass. Not so this year.
• With the numerous security guards and two OPP officers milling around, it made us wonder what exactly did they expect to happen. Everyone must be still on high alert after the convoy protest.
• Overall, not a bad return, but there's a lot of room for improvement.

An Out of This World Corned Beef Sandwich

A good sandwich is one of the joys of eating. Delicious items stuffed in between two pieces of bread is such an obvious way to consume food it's hard to believe the Earl of Sandwich was the first person to ever do so. For my money, the best sandwich in the city is from Di Rienzo's. If I have to go on a long trip I've taken their turkey and prosciutto with Havarti, lettuce, mayo, tomato, and spicy eggplant with me as needed comfort food to deal with the rigours of traveling. An astronaut took this concept to the extreme in the sixties by bringing a sandwich into orbit with him. As we learned when Homer went to space back when "The Simpsons" was considered groundbreaking and risque, food particles in a weightless environment can gum up machinery. On his first flight into space, John Young took a corned beef sandwich a fellow astronaut gave him and zipped it into his space suit before he boarded the rocket for the Gemini 3 mission. At some point on the trip, Young pulled out the sandwich and showed it to his commander, who reminded him of the safety risk and scolded him for it. Young was more formally reprimanded when he came back to Earth, as part of his mission was to test new dehydrated food packets and some congressmen thought he was costing the U.S. millions of dollars by ignoring the actual food that they were up there to try out. In honour of National Sandwich Day, you can either recreate the basic corned beef sandwich Young smuggled onboard (he later remarked it was without mustard or pickles), or you can make yourself the deli mainstay that is the Reuben. 

Ingredients

rye bread (pretzel rolls can also be used)
butter
Swiss cheese
good quality corned beef
sauerkraut, drained
115 g mayonnaise
45 g ketchup
30 g horseradish
12.5 g granulated sugar
10 mL Worcestershire sauce
2. 5 g paprika
Kosher salt
black pepper, freshly ground if possible

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, ketchup, horseradish, Worcestershire sauce, sugar, and paprika until everything is combined. Season with salt and pepper.
2. Butter one side of a slice of bread. On another slice, spread the Russian dressing you just made on one side. Place some Swiss cheese, corned beef, and sauerkraut on the non-buttered side of the bread. Top the sandwich with the other slice of bread, dressing side down. Butter the top of the sandwich you've made.
3. Heat a skillet big enough for the sandwich over medium heat. Place the sandwich in the pan and cook until it is golden and the cheese has melted, 3 minutes per side.

Bonus Election Day Dessert - Jan Harder's Bread Pudding

Jim Watson's not the only longtime Ottawa politician riding off into the sunset after this year's municipal election. Barrhaven's Jan Harder, who has represented that part of the city for over two decades, announced back in 2018 that she would be retiring after her last term was up.  Recently I came across a recipe for bread pudding she offered to some local publication. Treat yourself to this sweet and savoury dessert after doing your civic duty by voting - the names of the ballot (particularly the ones for Ward 3 Barrhaven West) would appreciate it.

Ingredients

5-6 cups cubed French bread
2.25 cups 35% whipping cream
3 eggs
2 pears and 2 apples, peeled, cored, and cut into bite-sized pieces
0.75 cup white sugar
0.5 cup each chopped pecand and raisins
0.25 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon each nutmeg and cinnamon

1. In a frying pan, melt the butter over medium heat. Add the apples and pears, and stir occasionally until the fruit is tender. Stir in the brown sugar, then increase the heat and cook everything for three minutes.
2. Remove the frying pan from the heat. Stir in the bread, the pecans, and the raisins. Set the pan aside.
3. In a large bowl, whisk the cream, eggs, sugar, vanilla, and spices together. Stir the bread mixture into the cream. Let it stand for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally.
4. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Turn the bread mixture into a greased 9 x 13-inch baking dish and bake for 40-50 minutes.
5. When done, sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve warm with Devon custard.

Bake Sale Worthy Chocolate Chip Cookies

In politics, you either leave office as a hero or see yourself become the villain. When Jim Watson became mayor for the second time in 2010, he was applauded for his ability to get city council to follow his lead after the chaotic free-for-all that was his predecessor's term. This eventually worked against Ottawa's longest-serving mayor as his influence over the council was so strong, councillors who voted with the mayor were seen as members of a dictatorial Watson Club. Throughout it all, Watson maintained his support among voters by attending and promoting bake sales around the city. This past December, Watson announced he would not be running for re-election in this year's municipal election. In honour of this changing of the guard, I have posted this recipe for a bake sale favourite, chocolate chip cookies. It's a recipe created by Blogger co-founder Meg Hourihan after she asked people to send her cookie recipes after she was tired of using her regular cookie recipe. After receiving over 30 different recipes, she decided to average all of the recipes and make whatever the result. In a sense, the recipe is a lot like voting in this Monday's election - you sift through all the different candidates who all say and promise the same things and hope that whatever is cobbled together forms something that turns out all right. With the cookie, the results were something that people liked; let's hope Ottawa's next mayor is as successful.

 

Ingredients

257 g semi-sweet chocolate chips
245 g flour
169 g light brown sugar
109 g white sugar
87.9 g unsalted butter, softened to room temperature
58 g unsalted butter, melted
46 g eggs
29.9 g unsalted butter, cold
20 g dark brown sugar
8 g egg yolk
6.08 mL vanilla extract
3.84 mL milk
3.81 g salt
3.63 g baking soda
2.51 mL water

1. Preheat your oven to 178.98°C, or to as close as you can to the temperature. 
2. In a medium bowl, thoroughly whisk together the flour, salt, and baking soda. Set the bowl aside once done.
3. In another bowl, using a hand or stand mixer, cream the butters and the sugars until they are incorporated and smooth.
4. Add and mix the egg, the egg yolk, the extract, the water, the milk, and the chocolate chips until all the ingredients are combined. Add the bowl of dry ingredients and blend until everything is fully incorporated.
5. Cover and chill the dough in the refrigerator for 25 minutes.
6. Place parchment paper on one-third of a cookie sheet. Drop the dough using a rounded tablespoon onto the cookie sheet - some cookies will be on the parchment, some won't. This is deliberate. Cook for 13.04 minutes.
   
   Note: This recipe appeared in the first edition of my favourite cookbook, "Cooking for Geeks".

How To Roast a Cauliflower

Need an easy vegetarian dish? Roasting a whole head of cauliflower gives you a dish that works as both a main course and a side. As a dinner table standout, it can't be beaten.

Ingredients

1 cauliflower
80 mL olive oil
60 g grated Parmesan cheese
5 g dried basil
5 g dried parsley
5 g dried thyme
3 cloves garlic, minced
2.5 g sea salt
1.5 g black pepper

1. Preheat your oven to 205°C. Rinse and pat dry the cauliflower. Remove the outer leaves and carefully cut off the woody center of the bottom stalk so that it's flat and the head stays in one piece. 

2. In a box mix the olive oil, the garlic, half of the Parmesan cheese, and the remaining spices and seasonings.

3. Put the cauliflower upside down (core side up) in a Dutch oven. Drizzle half of the sauce over the cauliflower, tilting it to let it drip down the core and all around. Flip the cauliflower over and drizzle the remaining sauce over the top, and use a pastry brush to ensure the cauliflower.

4. Cover the Dutch oven with its lid and bake everything for 35-45 minutes, or until the cauliflower is tender and pierces easily with a knife or fork. Remove the lid and sprinkle the top of the cauliflower with the remaining Parmesan cheese. Place the cauliflower under the broiler and broil for about 5 minutes, until the cheese is browned.

Working My Way Through The Works: Gotta Be KD

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road))
Burger Description:"Kraft Dinner & cheddar"
($19.34)

September 20, 2022

Kraft Dinner is bullshit. The macaroni pie my mom would make for Sunday dinners spoiled KD for me forever. I assume the only reason people eat it is that it's cheap and they don't know how to make a proper cheese sauce. When I finally tried the stuff in the blue and yellow box, I never understood its appeal. I don't care what Barenaked Ladies say, "If I Had A Million Dollars" I wouldn't eat that crap ever again. I will admit, seeing all that orange gooeyness on my burger patty made me hope that I would at least get a lot of cheese flavour in my first bite. But the low expectations I had for this meal were quickly met. It didn't taste any cheesier than if I had ordered a regular cheeseburger. Biting into the hamburger, the macaroni added a weird mouthfeel that I was not a fan off. I tried some of the pasta separately. It was like flavourless orange packing foam. As with actual Kraft Dinner, the only way to eat this was with lots of ketchup. Paying almost $20 for something with Kraft mac and cheese on it is ridiculous - the best part of this lunch was the French fries. I get that it's not practical or realistic to expect something a Sicilian grandmother would have made from a burger joint but even using good-tasting macaroni and cheese seems like a mistake to me as a hamburger topping. This is easily the worse hamburger I've eaten so far from the Works. Recommended only for pregnant women with very specific cravings.

1 out of 5 stars

The Need To Know Classic That Is: Chicken Parmesan

Whether you call it chicken parmesan or chicken parmigiana, one thing is for certain - it is not an Italian dish. Its inspiration, the combination of parmigiana di melanzane, a dish using fried eggplant slices and tomato sauce, and a cotoletta, a breaded veal cutlet normally served without sauce or cheese, can be found on any Italian menu. As immigrants from Italy started to settle in the U.S. in the 1950s, the combination of breaded chicken breast covered in tomato sauce and cheese began appearing in restaurants and homes. With the recipe below, you will have a dish that is great on its own, used in a sandwich or with a side of, or on top of pasta. 

Ingredients

2 large boneless chicken breasts
450 g mozzarella, parmesan, or provolone cheese, sliced thick
226 g panko bread crumbs
6 eggs, beaten
extra virgin olive oil
your favourite tomato sauce

1. Preheat your oven's broiler. Put the bread crumbs in a large bowl next to the bowl your beaten eggs are in.
2. Butterfly the chicken breast, then pound it as thin as you can with a meat tenderizer (covering the meat in plastic wrap, and slamming your heaviest pan on it will also work) on a flat surface.
3. Dip the chicken into the egg, then into the panko. Press down on the bread crumbs, making sure the breast is completely covered. Repeat and place the meat on a plate for 15 -20 minutes. Do the same process for the other piece of chicken.
4. Heat up 2.5 mL of olive oil in a large frying pan over medium heat - don't let the oil get too hot. Fry each chicken breast separately on one side for 5-7 minutes or until the edges turn a dark golden brown. As it cooks, baste the top of the meat with some of the oil in the pan. Flip the chicken breast when its bottom is sufficiently browned, and fry the other side.
5. While the chicken cooks spread some tomato sauce on a baking sheet. When the meat is ready, place it on the sauce, then add more sauce down the middle of the chicken breast. Top the meat with the cheese.
6. Place the baking sheet in the oven and broil everything for about 5 minutes until the cheese is well browned and bubbling.

How to Make a Better Crudité Than Dr. Oz

There are many doctors who I trust more than Mehmet Oz. Doctors Dre, Kevorkian, and Octopus are three just off the top of my head. Along with selling medicines and treatments that only help his bank account, we can now add food suggestions to the list of questionable things that Dr. Oz has said. Recently, the former TV host released a campaign video in an attempt to appear more relatable to voters in his run for a seat on the U.S. Senate. He may have missed the mark with this one.

If you're like me, this is the first time you've heard raw vegetables served with a dip called a crudité (pronounced crew-dee-tay) - I guess when it's comprised of more than carrots and celery sticks, it gets a fancier name. I don't usually follow these types of elections, but I don't think he's going to get many votes with this approach, especially when he has no idea what he's talking about. If you want to know how to make a proper vegetable platter to go with your charcuterie board, ignore what Oprah's favourite quack says, and follow the steps below. Leave all the food advice to his daughter the wellness expert, at least she's written a cookbook.

• Include at least four types of vegetables other than carrots and celery. It's always best to use what is in season, so consider visiting your local farmer's market over the supermarket; when making your choice, the more vibrant the colours, the better.
• Vegetables such as asparagus, green beans, and snap peas should be slightly cooked or blanched, to make them easier to eat. 
• Prepare a large pot of boiling salted water, and fill a large bowl with ice water.
• Remove the tough bottoms of the asparagus stalks and the strings from the green beans and snap peas.
• Start with one vegetable at a time, and lower it into the boiling water. Stir and let cook for 1 minute.
• Remove the vegetable from the boiling water and immediately plunge it into the ice bath to stop the cooking process and maintain the vibrant green colour it now has. Continue with the additional vegetables that you want to cook.
• Once all the vegetables are blanched, store them in separate containers until you are ready to assemble your crudité.
  
• When arranging your platter place a sheet of parchment paper between the vegetables and whatever serving tray you plan to use. Add your dip bowls first, then start placing your green vegetables around them, then add the more colorful produce for a better presentation. Small lettuces such as endive or radicchio can be separated and placed accordingly.
• Depending on how many different vegetables you have and how many people you are serving, go with at least 2-3 different dips. Don't use salsa or guacamole. I suggest a spicy hummus, a cheese spread, either a French onion or Ranch-style dip, or this recipe for an all-purpose dip from a guy who knows more about food than Dr. Oz.

Ingredients: All-Purpose Dip

480 g mayonnaise
15 g drained capers in brine
22.5 mL caper brine
5 large cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
32 g loosely packed, roughly chopped parsley, stems removed
24 g loosely packed, roughly chopped dill, stems removed
juice of a medium-sized lemon
black pepper, freshly ground if possible

1. Combine the garlic, mayonnaise, capers, brine, and lemon juice in a blender or food processor. Give everything a good pulse to roughly blend it all together.
2. Put in the herbs and blend everything for a second or two.
3. Add pepper to taste and mix everything until it has a smooth, creamy consistency.
4. Taste again, then add more capers, caper brine, or lemon juice if it needs more.
   
   This will last in your fridge for 4-5 days.

Better Than Ribfest Ribs

If you want to enjoy some ribs during the summer, there's no reason to wait until the various rib fests start popping up. As it turns out, all those vendors you assumed were coming to town from the U.S. to let you sample their grilled meats are all owned by the same Canadian company.  The only thing that makes any of the food taste different from each other is the sauce they use on the meat and sell to customers. They all use the same cuts of meat and they all cook the meat in the same way - whatever regional style they claim to be using, they're not. None of those trophies displayed mean anything; any first-place awards should be taken with a large serving of salt. Even the southern accents you hear from the people working the grill are fake. If you want to avoid the artificially long lineups (once vendors have people waiting for food, they work slower to build the line to build a buzz) try the recipe below. When it comes to BBQ ribs, slow-and-low beats fast-and-fake every time.

Ingredients

2 racks baby back pork ribs
180 mL apple juice
60 mL apple cider vinegar
30 g light brown sugar
15 g cayenne pepper
10 g smoked paprika (optional)
7.5 g salt
5 g granulated garlic
5 g dried minced onion
5 g ground mustard
2.5 g black pepper
your favorite BBQ sauce

1.  Turn all the burners on your gas grill to low. Leave the grill covered and let the temperature rise to 150°C.
2. Remove the silverskin off the back of the ribs by sliding a table knife under the membrane anywhere along the rack. Lift and loosen it with the knife until you can grab it with a paper towel, then pull it off the ribs. This will allow the seasoning to get to the meat giving it more flavour.
3. Mix all the dry spices together in a small bowl. Rub the spice blend over both sides of the ribs.
4. Pour the apple juice and the apple cider vinegar into a large foil pan. Place the ribs in the pan and cover them tightly with aluminum foil. Place the pan on the grill, cover and close the grill, and let the ribs cook for 60-90 minutes.
• This can also be done by placing the foil-wrapped ribs in an oven preheated to 121°C for 2 hours.
5. When the internal temperature of the meat reads between 73-76°C, carefully bring the foil pan inside. Remove the ribs and transfer them to a large baking sheet, then slather each side of the ribs with your favorite sauce.
6. Increase the heat on each burner of your gas grill to medium/high. Grill each rack for about 5-7 minutes per side, adding more sauce as needed. You will know when the ribs are done when the ribs start to slightly char.
7. Let the ribs rest for 5 minutes before slicing and eating.

Legends of Canadian Pastry: The Saskatoon Berry Pie

The Sweet Canada: Domestic stamps series

If you haven't heard of Saskatoon berries, it's probably because of the part of Canada you live in. Also known as serviceberries, the Saskatoon berry (Amelanchier alnifolia) is a deciduous native shrub that grows not just in Saskatchewan as you would expect if you know your geography, but also in parts of western Ontario, British Columbia, and the Yukon. Like the city it's named after, the sweet, fleshy fruits take their name from a Cree word, and were used by both Aboriginal people and early colonizers. With a lifespan of 30 to 50 years, saskatoons are hardy plants that can survive winter temperatures of up to -50 to -60º Celsius. The berries are a good source of antioxidants, have similar nutritional properties to other dark-coloured berries, and can be used in jams, syrups, and pie fillings. Gas prices may keep you from heading out to this year's Saskatoon Berry Festival but the recipe below will allow you to enjoy this legendary Canadian pastry any time you please.

Note: Blueberries can be substituted for Saskatoon berries, but actually saskatoons can be ordered frozen online, just remember to thaw them before use.

Ingredients

1 9 inch/23 cm. pre-made pie crust
(If you have a favourite homemade pie crust recipe, feel free to use it; if you need one, here's a good recipe.)
760 g fresh Saskatoon berries
150 g white sugar
25 g all-purpose flour
15 g butter
60 mL water
30 mL lemon juice

1. Preheat the oven to 220 degrees Celsius.
2. In a large saucepan, simmer berries in the water for 10 minutes. Stir in the lemon juice with berries. Combine the sugar and flour together in a medium bowl, then stir into the berry mixture. 
3. Pour mixture into either a pre-made pie crust or a pastry-lined 9-inch pie pan. Dot with butter. Top the pie with more crust, then seal and flute (crimp) the edges.
4. Bake the pie in the preheated oven for 15 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 175°C and bake for an additional 35 to 45 minutes, or until golden brown.

The One With Jennifer Aniston's Favourite Salad

"Friends" was such a huge hit that it seems impossible to not have seen the trials and tribulations of three guys and three gals who hung out way too much at a coffee shop in New York. The show launched the careers of its stars, with Jennifer Aniston's Rachel character getting a lot of the attention for her haircut and her on-again-off-again interaction with her onscreen love interest. I watched the show for the first few seasons until I realized I didn't care if she and the love of her life were "on a break" from their relationship or not. I only drifted back near the tail end of the series because I already knew all the characters' names and I couldn't find anything better to watch. But I do find it fascinating that Aniston ate the same salad for ten years when she and her female co-stars would have lunch together on the set. If you're still pining for "Friends" after the recent reunion special, or you've just discovered the show on Netflix, the recipe below will be there for you to whip up before your next visit with the gang from Central Perk.

Ingredients

180 g bulgur

• Bulgur is a nutritious whole grain that can be used as a substitute for brown rice or quinoa. You can find it with the grains and rice in the international aisle of your supermarket or in the bulk section of Whole Foods or your local health food store.

2 cucumbers, diced
1 425 g can garbanzo beans, rinsed and drained
150 g crumbled feta cheese
50 g shelled pistachios
13 g red onion, minced
8 g fresh parsley, chopped
1.5 g fresh mint, chopped

1. Bring 475 mL of water to a boil. Add the bulgar and reduce the heat to low. Cover and let the bulgar cook for about 20 minutes or until all the water is absorbed. Stir every five minutes.
2. Let the bulgar cool for another 20 minutes until it becomes room temperature. In a large bowl, add the remaining ingredients and stir to combine.
3. Serve or put into an airtight container in the refrigerator until ready.

Let Them Eat Cheesecake - Doug Ford's Famous Cheesecake Recipe

The chances you will try the recipe below depend on how you feel about Doug Ford. If you believe the Ford government can "Get It Done" because he works 24 hours a day for the people of Ontario, folks, you will eat up his cheesecake the same way you ate up promises to make Ontario "Open for business" with a highway that only benefits the GTA. If you believe he's a corrupt, incompetent politician who hasn't evolved from his alleged days as a teenage hash dealer, you probably came here because you need a dessert recipe. Rob Ford's older brother claims this recipe has been passed down to him from Mama Ford, who learned the recipe from her sister.  As his day of reckoning comes on June 2 with the provincial election, how the voting goes will determine if people will be making this cheesecake as part of a victory celebration, or as a way to cope with four more years of FORDNation.

Ingredients

3 packages of Dream Whip

3 packages of cream cheese

2 boxes of graham cracker crumbs

2 cans of cherry pie filling (Tory blue blueberries can be substituted if you're that partisan)

1 1/2 cups milk

1 cup icing sugar

1 cup sugar

1/2 brick of butter

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F (180 C). Empty the Dream Whip packets into a bowl, then add the milk and mix with an electric mixer on high until peaks form.
2. Microwave the cream cheese bricks for one minute. Mix the cream cheese and the icing sugar in with the Dream Whip. Once done, put it in the fridge to cool down.
3. Mix the butter, graham cracker crumbs, and sugar together in a pot on the stove. Press the ingredients onto the bottom of a baking pan and up the sides.
4. Bake for 20 minutes then remove it and let it cool for 15 minutes. Add the cheesecake filling onto the crust and spread it evenly, then put it in the fridge to let it chill for an hour.
5. Open cans of pie filling and spread evenly over the cheesecake. Chill for several hours before serving.

Q & A with Haico Krijgsman, Hot Sauce Entrepreneur

Haico Krijgsman loves hot sauce. He loves hot sauce so much he started making his own after moving to Canada and finding the hot sauces here lacking. This led to the creation of Haico's Hot Sauce, a small batch crafter that has gained a positive reputation both locally and internationally. After discovering that he is taking part in an eating contest for charity, I had to learn more about this chili head and fellow chicken wing connoisseur. Here's what he had to say:

FRANKLIN on FOOD: Is there such a thing as "too hot" for you?

HAICO KRIJGSMAN: I am not sure if there is anything too hot. For me all hot sauces I make myself are about flavour and heat. I may find things not appetizing since they do not have the flavour I am looking for in spicy condiments. Of course, I have been "burned" by things that are much hotter than they first appear. As long as the food is spicy and flavorful I am quite happy.

FoF: How did you get involved in a chicken wing speed-eating contest?

HK: I have always been able to eat big amounts of food and even though I am no competitive speed eater, I decided to join and raise money for charity whilst having some fun eating way too many spicy wings. The charity's donation will be determined. I am part of a group called Sons of Fire - Canadian Chapter and we donate to charities on a regular basis.

FoF: Who are the Sons of Fire?

HK:  Sons of Fire is a global chili club that does spicy chili challenges to raise money for charities and those in need. Our Canadian Chapter was formed last year in June and since then we have donated over $3500 to several charities and people in need.

FoF: And the Ring of Fire?

HK: The Ring of Fire is what you usually suffer from the day after a competition of eating too spicy food... No seriously, the Ring of Fire is the name of all the challenges that will take place during the Heatwave Hot Sauce Expo in London (Ontario) on May 28 and 29.

FoF: Are you doing any special training for the eating contest?

HK: I am currently eating a lot of spicy food (which is not that abnormal from what I usually do) but I have been eating more and more spicy wings in bigger volumes.

FoF: What makes a good hot sauce?

HK: As I mentioned before, for any great spicy food and/or condiment in my book, it needs to have heat and flavour. Not just one or the other. When I started Haico's Hot Sauce 8 years ago, that was the goal I had. We are in a lucky position in Canada where we have a ton of great hot sauce makers that will all be highlighted at the Heatwave Hot Sauce Expo and at Heating Up The Capital in Mountain (close to Ottawa) on August 27, 2022

FoF: How long does it take to make a bottle of Haico's Hot Sauce?

HK: This is a good question since the longer a hot sauce is being made by us, the shorter it takes. In order to make a hot sauce, you have to develop a recipe initially, so that requires some experimenting. Once the recipe has been approved and accepted, production goes a lot quicker. We can make a batch of around 100 bottles in an hour and a half.

FoF: Do you grow all the peppers for your hot sauces yourself, or do you rely on local farmers for your produce?

HK: Between 85 and 95% of the peppers I use are grown by us. We actually use a lot of uncommon peppers that we use in our sauces like Madame Jeanette, Rimmerhus Fumstrain, and also a lot of super-hot peppers which are hard to source. This is the reason why I started growing peppers in the first place. That and because growing the ingredients and being able to present a product from farm to table is very rewarding. That being said since we are in Ottawa I do have contingency plans in place if our crop does not work out. I know several other growers, local and in more southern parts of Ontario, that can provide me with peppers in my time of need.

FoF: Other than yourself, who makes a hot sauce people should try?

HK: There are so many amazing Canadian Hot Sauces that are worth a try. You can find a good collection at www.TOCHSS.ca (The Online Canadian Hot Sauce Store closed as of 2023-02-04), which is a website that solely focuses on Canadian hot sauces. It provides a one-stop-shop for people interested in Canadian hot sauces. You are able to save on shipping and get a huge selection of Canadian hot sauces.

FoF: Haico's Honey Mustard (Not Just) BBQ sauce won 3rd place at the 2019 Hot Sauce Awards - will you be adding to your trophies with an entry at the 2nd Annual Hot Sauce Expo?

HK: Haico's Hot Sauce will not be entering the YOW awards for the Heating Up The Capital hot sauce expo since we are closely associated with the event. We do not want there to be the potential perception of any bias when the YOW awards are being judged and handed out. We do indeed to enter other competitions every now and then, but with the past two years having been what they have been, we did not enter a lot of competitions. Haico's Hot Sauce did enter two categories at the Eternal Flame Awards in London this year, so we keep our fingers crossed!

FoF: What role did you play in creating the Heating Up The Capital hot sauce expo?

HK: It was a joint decision in 2019 by both Angela, (my wife and partner in the business) and me that it was way overdue to have a hot sauce expo in Ottawa. Being on Farmers' markets and fairs we noticed there are a lot of pepper heads and hot sauce lovers living right here on our front doorstep, but no one had ever organized a hot sauce expo here. Since we know a lot of people and makers in the Hot Sauce community we decided to take on the responsibility. The original date of the expo was planned for May of 2020. We all know what happened. The world shut down and we had to revise our plans. After two more postponements due to the pandemic and a change of location, we held Heating Up The Capital, Ottawa's First Hot Sauce Expo last Sept 4, 2021, at Smokie Ridge Vineyard in Mountain. Even though I am part of the organization, my wife does most of the behind-the-scenes work. She is as I often say the Brain and the Beauty behind it. I am just the Brawn and the Face.

FoF: Seeing how you're a member of BBQ Ottawa, what's your go-to meat when you fire up your grill, and what sauce you are using?

HK: I actually enjoy BBQ-ing and smoking meat a lot. I make my own bacon in the smoker, love good chicken Sateh (marinated and served with peanut sauce), A good rib steak (Canadian Smokesman dry rubs are the best), or a nice fatty pork chop (BBQ sauces from all over, lately I have been dabbling in JR and the Kid who has amazing sauces). So to answer your question, there is not one sauce in particular I lean towards. I like variety in my cooking and sauces.

FoF: Where can people buy your hot sauces?

HK: We are available through www.HaicosHotSauce.com. When you order three bottles or more, you get free shipping in Ottawa (shipping will be refunded due to the system not recognizing Ottawa as a region). For any order anywhere else in Canada free shipping comes with orders over $17.50. We are also available through www.TOCHSS.ca and we sell a lot directly to the public during Farmers' Markets and fairs You can see on our website where we will be each week and there is also a list of retail locations where we are available. One of the latest additions to the retail locations is the Ottawa Artisans at St Laurent, Bayshore, Tanger Outlets, and Place d'Orleans

FoF: What do you say to people who say they can't handle the heat?

HK: When people tell me that at markets I explain that our sauces are available from Mild to Wild and that there is something for everyone. Angela did not like hot sauce when she met me, but over time I have been able to convince her that there definitely is a place in cooking for Hot Sauce. She has started using some of the sauces in recipes she makes. It is all about the dosage as well. If you use it properly and sparingly, it will open your palate and you will experience more flavour of all the food. I do have a "gateway hot sauce as well. My Canadian Jerk is really focused on flavour and it only has a little zing in the back. The last thing I tell people about my sauces is: Start with a drop! You can always add, it is much harder to remove it afterward!

---

UPDATE: (1) Haico's Hot Sauce's Devils Brew won Best Sauce, Extreme Category at the Heatwave Hot Sauce Expo. (2) Haico was "...three wings away" from winning the chicken wing speed-eating eating competition.

A Martini for Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo is known on this side of the border more for being a day of drinking than for an 1800s Mexican victory against French forces. For whatever reason you choose to celebrate, a spicy avocado martini would be a change from the usual margaritas and Corona.

Ingredients for two drinks

1 large avocado, slightly mashed with a fork, but not pureed
1 lime, cut into wedges
chili powder (use Mexican chili powder or Taji with lime if available)
60 mL gin
45 mL dry vermouth
30 mL club soda
15 mL lime juice (fresh if possible)
200 g sugar
1.5 g chili powder
240 mL water

1. Combine the sugar, water, 1.5 grams of chili powder, and the avocado in a small pot over medium heat until the sugar dissolves and the liquid comes to a slight boil. Remove the pot from the heat and let the flavours infuse for 30 to 60 minutes. Strain the liquid into a sealed container and put it in the fridge to allow it to cool completely; it will keep for up to a week.
2. Run a lime wedge along the rim of each glass, and rim each glass with the chili powder. Set the glasses aside.
3. In a martini shaker, combine the gin, vermouth, 15 mL of the avocado syrup in the fridge, lime juice, and more chili powder to taste. Pour some into the martini glasses and top with the club soda. Garnish with lime (or a slice of avocado if you're not saving it for toast) and serve.

Working My Way Through the Works: Kamikaze

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description:"Jalapeno, chipotle & banana peppers, cheddar cheese & hotter than hell sauce"
April 14, 2022

How hot is too hot? Depends on the person doing the tasting. Some people need to have their eyes watering and sweat coming out of every pore in order to enjoy their meal. Others will consider their food ruined if anything hotter than a cinnamon heart touches their tongue. The burning feeling people get in their mouths when eating peppers comes from a chemical in the peppers that activate a protein that senses heat. This chemical is capsaicin, and when activated, it sends a message to the brain which then sends a jolt of pain back to the affected part of the body. When it comes to spicy food, it's best to err on the side of caution, especially if you're a restaurant that wants repeat business. For this reason, I asked for the hot sauce to be served on the side and was pleased to discover that's how the sauce normally comes with the Kamikaze. A quick taste revealed it was a Thai-style chili sauce with a bit of sweetness to offset its heat - definitely not hotter than hell. I poured a bit of the sauce on the middle of the top bun and dribbled some more on the spot where I was going to take my first bite. The peppers were a nice addition to the burger, with the sauce acting as spicier ketchup. While a bit of sweat did appear on my brow and bald head while eating, it wasn't a crazy amount of heat, just enough for you to notice that it was present. Overall, this cheeseburger was what you want when you looking to try something a bit more peppery than usual - it will open up your sinuses but it will leave your colon intact. 

4 out of 5 stars - those wanting more heat can add their go-to hot sauce to it.   

I Tried This So You Won't Have To: The Snickle

On a recent episode of his soon-to-be-ending talk show, celebrity Nick Cannon profused his love of pickles. While that is not unusual, what makes it interesting is that he likes his pickles sandwiched in between chocolate, peanuts, and caramel. Called the Snickle, it is exactly what it sounds like - a Snickers bar sandwiched in between a pickle. This food mashup has been popularized by food bloggers for a few years now, and it has as many fans as it has detractors. Where does this food blogger stand on this? Check out the video below. 

Breakfast Popcorn

Popcorn is great as a light snack. But did you know it can be used as a part of a delicious breakfast? I'm not talking about adding milk to a bowl of popcorn as a cereal substitute if you don't have a box of Corn Pops in the house, though that can and has been done. I'm talking about using your popcorn in the same way tortilla chips are used in chilaquiles. With popcorn already being used in salads, it shouldn't be that surprising to see the snack food make its way from the movie concession stand to your breakfast table. So give the recipe a try if you're looking for a unique way to add a tasty texture to an otherwise standard breakfast item. 

NOTE: The recipe below is legit - this is not an April Fool's Day gag.

Ingredients

2 cups popped popcorn
2 eggs
7 g cold butter, grated or microplaned
5 g butter for the pan
salt and pepper to taste

1. Whisk the eggs with the grated butter.  Heat the remaining butter in a nonstick skillet over medium heat.  
2. When the butter starts to foam, mix the popcorn gently into the eggs to coat, but don’t let the popcorn get soggy.  
3. Scramble to your desired doneness, and garnish as you please.

Superbowl Eats: L.A. Rams edition

Two things come to mind when you think about Los Angeles. It is home to some of the biggest stars in the entertainment industry, and it is a city made up of transplants from all across the country and around the world. The same can be said about the year's version of the L.A. Rams. The team parted ways with Jared Goff, the quarterback who led them to their 2018 loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl LIII. He was replaced by Matthew Stafford, the quarterback who always put up big numbers for the Detroit Lions but had no playoff wins to show for it. Stafford joined superstar defender Aaron Donald and playmaker Cooper Kupp on a team that soon added Pro Bowl linebacker Von Miller from the Denver Broncos and flashy wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. formerly from the Cleveland Browns. It took a few games for all these new pieces to come together and gel, but when they did, they marched through the playoffs, defeating divisional rivals and last year's Superbowl winner along the way. It would be fitting for fans of this superteam to enjoy food that captures the spirit of the city the team is based in, and to me, that would mean a carne asada taco from one of L.A.'s native sons, actor Danny Trejo, with a recipe from his "Trejo's Tacos: Recipes and Stories from L.A." cookbook. They say the biggest stars come out on the biggest stage. This will be the second year in a row that a team that will play the Super Bowl will play in their home stadium - let's see if the Rams can deliver the Hollywood ending their fans want to see.

Ingredients

1.36 kg flank, flap, or skirt steak
12 medium tomatillos (about 680 g), papery skin removed, tomatillos left whole
12 six-inch tortillas
6 garlic cloves
3 chipotle chiles from a can of chipotle chiles in adobo sauce, plus 30 g of the sauce
2 limes, each cut into 6 wedges
2 medium-sized jalapeños, roughly chopped
1 medium jalapeño, left whole
1 large white onion, roughly chopped
180 mL orange juice (preferably fresh)
120 mL pure olive oil
60 mL soy sauce
juice of 1 lemon
juice of 1 lime, plus extra to taste
145 g shredded green cabbage
15 g kosher salt, plus extra to taste
15 g ground cumin
15 g smoked paprika
12 g roughly chopped fresh cilantro

1. Combine half the chopped onion, the chipotles, and sauce, the chopped jalapeños, the garlic cloves, eight grams of cilantro, the orange juice, olive oil, soy sauce, lemon juice, cumin, and paprika in a food processor or blender and puree. Transfer the marinade to a large self-seal plastic bag or airtight container. Add the meat and turn to coat it in the marinade, then seal the container you are using. Refrigerate and marinate overnight or for at least 30 minutes.
2. Remove the steak from the marinade, letting the excess marinade drip back into the bag or bowl. Place the steak on a platter and set it aside at room temperature for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, heat a gas or charcoal grill to medium-high heat. Grill the steak until it is charred, about 5 minutes. Turn it over and grill until charred on the other side, about 5 more minutes. Transfer it to a cutting board and let it rest for 5 minutes before slicing it crosswise and against the grain.
3. Heat a large heavy skillet over medium heat until it is very hot, about 4 minutes. Add the whole tomatillos and jalapeños - they should sizzle when they hit the dry hot pan. Cook until the vegetables are black and blistered in spots and soft on one side, 5 to 7 minutes.
4. Use tongs to turn the tomatillos and jalapeños over, then add the remaining garlic cloves. Cook the tomatillos, jalapeños, and garlic until the tomatillos and jalapeños are blistered and the garlic cloves are toasted but not burned, 5 to 7 minutes more. Remove the pan from the heat and let the mixture cool to room temperature.
5. Transfer the tomatillos, jalapeños, and garlic to a blender or food processor and add the cilantro, lime juice, salt, and half the remaining onion. Process until the sauce is completely smooth. Taste and add more salt, onion, or lime juice if desired. You now have fresh salsa verde.
6. Preheat the oven to 121°C. Stack the tortillas, wrap them in aluminum foil, place them in the oven, and let them warm until they're fragrant and pliable, about 15 minutes. Remove the tortillas from the oven. Unwrap the stack and line up the tortillas, assembly-line-style, on your work surface.
7. In a medium bowl, mix the shredded cabbage with 60 g of the salsa verde. Chill before serving, or refrigerate in it an airtight container for up to 5 days.
8. Divide the meat among the tortillas, placing it in a straight line down the center of each tortilla. Place a line of the cabbage mixture to the right of the steak. Serve a lime wedge with each taco.