How to Make a Better Crudité Than Dr. Oz

There are many doctors who I trust more than Mehmet Oz. Doctors Dre, Kevorkian, and Octopus are three just off the top of my head. Along with selling medicines and treatments that only help his bank account, we can now add food suggestions to the list of questionable things that Dr. Oz has said. Recently, the former TV host released a campaign video in an attempt to appear more relatable to voters in his run for a seat on the U.S. Senate. He may have missed the mark with this one.

If you're like me, this is the first time you've heard raw vegetables served with a dip called a crudité (pronounced crew-dee-tay) - I guess when it's comprised of more than carrots and celery sticks, it gets a fancier name. I don't usually follow these types of elections, but I don't think he's going to get many votes with this approach, especially when he has no idea what he's talking about. If you want to know how to make a proper vegetable platter to go with your charcuterie board, ignore what Oprah's favourite quack says, and follow the steps below. Leave all the food advice to his daughter the wellness expert, at least she's written a cookbook.

• Include at least four types of vegetables other than carrots and celery. It's always best to use what is in season, so consider visiting your local farmer's market over the supermarket; when making your choice, the more vibrant the colours, the better.
• Vegetables such as asparagus, green beans, and snap peas should be slightly cooked or blanched, to make them easier to eat. 
• Prepare a large pot of boiling salted water, and fill a large bowl with ice water.
• Remove the tough bottoms of the asparagus stalks and the strings from the green beans and snap peas.
• Start with one vegetable at a time, and lower it into the boiling water. Stir and let cook for 1 minute.
• Remove the vegetable from the boiling water and immediately plunge it into the ice bath to stop the cooking process and maintain the vibrant green colour it now has. Continue with the additional vegetables that you want to cook.
• Once all the vegetables are blanched, store them in separate containers until you are ready to assemble your crudité.
  
• When arranging your platter place a sheet of parchment paper between the vegetables and whatever serving tray you plan to use. Add your dip bowls first, then start placing your green vegetables around them, then add the more colorful produce for a better presentation. Small lettuces such as endive or radicchio can be separated and placed accordingly.
• Depending on how many different vegetables you have and how many people you are serving, go with at least 2-3 different dips. Don't use salsa or guacamole. I suggest a spicy hummus, a cheese spread, either a French onion or Ranch-style dip, or this recipe for an all-purpose dip from a guy who knows more about food than Dr. Oz.

Ingredients: All-Purpose Dip

480 g mayonnaise
15 g drained capers in brine
22.5 mL caper brine
5 large cloves of garlic, roughly chopped
32 g loosely packed, roughly chopped parsley, stems removed
24 g loosely packed, roughly chopped dill, stems removed
juice of a medium-sized lemon
black pepper, freshly ground if possible

1. Combine the garlic, mayonnaise, capers, brine, and lemon juice in a blender or food processor. Give everything a good pulse to roughly blend it all together.
2. Put in the herbs and blend everything for a second or two.
3. Add pepper to taste and mix everything until it has a smooth, creamy consistency.
4. Taste again, then add more capers, caper brine, or lemon juice if it needs more.
   
   This will last in your fridge for 4-5 days.

Make Ice Cream Better With Chocolate Dip

During the heatwave we've experienced this summer, my wife and I decided to treat ourselves to some ice cream. As we ate from our bowls, we groused about how we never see ice cream trucks in our neighbourhood and reminisced about how good we had it back in the day when the Dickie Dee men used to sell frozen treats from freezer units on tricycles. It was then when Dawn mentioned that her favourite type of ice cream cone are the ones dipped in chocolate, and asked me if I knew how they get the chocolate to harden on the ice cream so quickly. I had no idea, so off I went to the interwebs. The chocolate you see people dip soft-serve ice cream in contains oils high in saturated fat. A drop in temperature causes saturated fats to harden and take on a glass-like consistency. When you emulsify coconut oil with melted chocolate, the mixture remains a stable liquid at room temperature, but as soon as you drizzle it over ice cream, it chills down fast and hardens into a tasty shell. With this knowledge, it is now easy to bring the feel of an ice cream parlour into your kitchen with the following recipe:

Ingredients:

250 g dark chocolate, 66% to 72%, finely chopped
200 g refined (not unrefined or virgin) coconut oil
125 g light (clear) corn syrup

1. Combine the chocolate, coconut oil, and corn syrup in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on half power in short 15 second bursts, stirring with a spoon in between, 3 to 4 times, until the chocolate is completely melted. If the mixture is heated too much, the chocolate may break, forming harmless brown speckles in the sauce; to re-emulsify the sauce, blend in a blender on high speed for 30 seconds.
2. Transfer chocolate dip to a container and store at room temperature, stirring with a spoon if it separates. For best results, let the dip harden on ice cream for 30 seconds before eating.