Comfort Food in Uncomforting Times - My Take on the KFC Double Down

On November 8, the United States decided love does not trump hate and elected an orange goblin to be its next president. In surprising numbers, people decided Hillary Clinton's pantsuits and poor e-mail usage were a worse offense than being Donald Trump, a failed businessman, reality show host, and admitted sexual predator who said he could solve all of America's problems with racism and bullshit. I didn't watch last Tuesday's results unfold on television because the coverage of election over the last 18 months had worn me out. Waking up the next morning and seeing just how badly Americans wanted a white man in charge again didn't surprise me as much as I thought it would (never underestimate the stupidity of the American public goes the old adage), it just left me depressed and deflated. Longing for the days when a Trump presidency was just a joke on "The Simpsons", it's times like this when comfort food really hits the spot. No matter what side of the political spectrum you're on, fried chicken, bacon, and cheese is a pleaser. As America doubles down on its race to the bottom, it seems right to make my own version of KFC's seasonal treat (for those who forgot, the Double Down is bacon, slices of Monterey Jack and pepper Jack cheese, and a spicy "secret" sauce in between two fried chicken fillets). I know I can't eat my worries away, but it's going to be a long four years, might as well eat something tasty. Enjoy this recipe, and may God have mercy on our souls.

Ingredients (makes 2 sandwiches)

4 boneless chicken breasts
4 strips of bacon
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
375 mL buttermilk (Or use this substitute, 375 mL milk minus 15 mL plus 15 mL lemon juice or vinegar.)
your favourite hot sauce
salt

250 g flour
60 g paprika
45 g white pepper
30 g garlic salt
15 g celery salt
15 g black pepper
15 g dried mustard
15 g ground ginger
10 g salt
7 g tablespoon thyme
7 g tablespoon basil
5 g tablespoon oregano

Note: The spices above are allegedly the ones uses in Colonel Sanders' original chicken recipe.

1. Place the chicken breasts between two sheets of plastic wrap and pound them with the flat side of a meat tenderizer until they are roughly the same thickness. Place the chicken in a bowl, give them a generous sprinkling of salt, and cover them with the buttermilk for at least an hour, four hours max.
2. Cook the bacon however you see fit. When I have the time, I like to bake bacon in the oven at about 205 °C for about 10 to 20 minutes, until it is crispy. Set the bacon aside when done.
3. Combine the flour and the spices in a bowl. Take a chicken breast and covered it with the flour mixture, then cover it in the egg mixture, and back again in the flour mixture for another coating. Set the pieces aside when done.
4. Whether you pan fry or have a deep fryer, get your oil to 182 °C in order to get the internal chicken temperature to an optical 72 °C. Place two chicken breasts in the oil, and fry them for about eight minutes.
   
   Note: If you have access to a pressure cooker, use that for frying your chicken to be even more like the Colonel; wearing a white suit is optional.
   
   
5. Using the breasts like bread, assemble the cheese, the bacon, and the hot sauce into a sandwich. 

Warm Up with Chocolate and Wine

Those of us who have to escort little ghosts and goblins out on Halloween look forward to having something comforting to drink after a chilly night of trick or treating. Recently, I discovered a recipe for a warm drink that combines two favourites, wine and chocolate. This rich drink is quite soothing, so please take all the necessary precautions, and try not to take too much candy from your child's stash.

Ingredients

355 mL milk
240 mL red wine (a bold wine such as Cabernet Sauvignon is suggested)
60 g dark chocolate chunks
whipped cream (optional)

1. In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the milk and the chocolate. Whisk constantly until the chocolate has melted into milk and is thick and creamy.
2. Add the red wine and heat until everything is hot. 
3. Pour the contents into 2 mugs or 6-8 smaller glasses and top with whipped cream for extra decadence.

In Defense of Pumpkin Spice

My name is Andrew Franklin, and I'm a food blogger who doesn't think pumpkin spice should be wiped off the face of the earth - no one should have to justify liking a pumpkin spice latte.

This admission shouldn't be all that eyebrow-raising, but for the last few autumns, pumpkin spice brings out as many haters as it does superfans. Some people despise the pumpkin spice latte for what it has in it, due to a misunderstanding about acceptable levels of caramel colouring and carcinogens in food (one more reason to ignore anything the Food Babe says). A lot of people knock pumpkin spice for what it doesn't have in it - pumpkin. This seems odd to me as pumpkin spice is just some of the spices used in the baking of a pumpkin pie  - did people really think they were taking pumpkins and grinding them into powder, and that it tasted like cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves? To appease these people, some coffee sellers have added pumpkin puree to the popular seasonal beverage, but little outside of a shot of testosterone would satisfy those who find pumpkin spice too feminine to drink or eat. You would think seeing all those women in yoga pants lining up for their PSLs would be a treat to these alpha dogs, but who knows what goes through the minds of those who equate masculinity with food? Some think the spices don't need to be on everything, and I'm with them on that point; pumpkin spice potato chips and vodka seem a bit much. But no one is forcing anyone to buy any of these flavoured cash grabs, and sometimes you just want the taste of fall in your mouth for a few weeks out of the year. The days and nights are getting shorter and longer, why waste time judging people for their coffee and muffin choices.

NOTE:

• PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE TIP: To improve on its flavour, ask your server for a pumpkin spice latte with two pumps of Chocolate Syrup mixed in.
• Learn to make your own pumpkin spice latte.

Ramen - Japan's Greatest Invention

Now that everyone has gotten their books and gear for school, and adjusted to being on a schedule again, it's time to find ways to stretch that student budget. Many a starving student has turned to ramen, the Japanese instant version of Chinese style noodles. Debuting in 1958, they are made by making thin, quickly re-hydrated noodles, then steaming them, and frying them at 140℃, and air-drying them at 80℃. The traditional versions of these light yellow noodles are made from hard wheat flour, water, and alkaline salts and are somewhat stiff precooked. They are usually cooked in water with a pH of 5.5-6, often adjusted by adding something acidic. Once cooked, they are drained, washed, and cooled in running water. Ramen has come a long way from its humble beginnings, with regional ramen variations throughout Japan, as well as its own fan sites, museums, and video games. The recipe below may not be the real deal you would get at a restaurant, but I'm sure you can find other uses for the $15 you won't be spending.

Ingredients

2 packages of your favourite instant ramen noodles (Maruchan and Top Ramen are popular brands)
950 mL chicken stock
14 mL olive oil
5 mL red miso paste
240 g sweet corn
230 g fresh spinach, chopped
170 g cooked chicken (leftovers can be used)
14 g unsalted butter
4 large eggs
4 green onions, thinly sliced
toasted sesame oil (for drizzling)
nori (a paper-like, edible, toasted seaweed used in most kinds of sushi, found in Asian supermarkets; optional splurge)

1. Bring some water to boil in a saucepan. Once boiling, reduce the heat until the water is just simmering, and gently add the eggs and cook them for 6 minutes. Remove the eggs with a slotted spoon and place in an ice bath. Let them cool completely before peeling them.
2. In another saucepan, melt the butter and add the corn kernels, stirring to coat them, and season them with salt and pepper. Place the corn in a bowl. Add the olive oil to the pan and cook the spinach until it just begins to wilt.
3. Heat the chicken stock in a suitably sized pan just until it's boiling, then whisk in the miso paste. Add the ramen noodles and cook according to the directions on the package, but use only one seasoning packet. As soon as they are finished, serve them in bowls, by adding the noodles, corn, spinach and chicken, then ladling some of the broth over top. Finish the bowls with the sliced green onions, the soft boiled eggs cut in half,  and a drizzle of sesame oil. Serve with the nori on the side of the bowl.

Celebrate Bacon with the Bacon Ice Cream Sundae

As it is International Bacon Day today, and with Baconpolooza happening next weekend, I thought this would be a good time post this dessert recipe I received in the gift bag I got when I volunteered at Baconpolooza's inaugural event last year.

Ingredients 

500 g sugar
185 mL water
60 mL heavy cream
30 mL butter
2 strips bacon
your favourite ice cream

Caramel Sauce

1. Mix 250 g of sugar and 125 mL of water in a saucepan. Heat on medium-high until mixture starts to turn colour.
2. When the mixture turns golden, add the butter and cream.
3. Remove from heat. Use a wooden spoon to stir until smooth.
4. Pour into a heatproof container, and let cool.

Bacon Brittle

1. Mix the remaining sugar and water in a saucepan. Heat on medium-high until mixture starts to turn colour, about five minutes.
2. When the mixture turns amber, remove from heat and pour out on a non-stick baking sheet.
3. Chop the bacon into 1/4" pieces, place in a frying pan, and cook until bacon is crispy.
4. Drain the bacon fat, then sprinkle the bacon bits onto the cooked sugar.
5. When completely cool and hard, break into pieces.

  Bacon Ice Cream Sundae Assembly

1. To serve, scoop some ice cream into balls and roll in the bacon brittle to coat completely.
2. Place in individual serving bowls. Top with the caramel sauce.
   
   Note: Adding whipped cream and a cherry on top is optional but recommended.

My Favourite Cookbooks

The local literary world is buzzing about "Ottawa Cooks", a cookbook featuring recipes from some of the city's best chefs. While I usually rely on the Internet when it comes to finding recipes, there's something about cookbooks that still appeals to me. Here are some of my favourites:

	Cooking for Geeks My love for this cookbook can be found throughout this blog, and for good reason, as it reads less like a cookbook and more like an interesting textbook. It's the perfect book for people who consider the kitchen their personal laboratory and should be required reading for anyone teaching an elementary or high school Home Ec class.
	DC Super Heroes Super Healthy Cookbook This is the first cookbook I've ever followed a recipe from. Given how popular superheroes are these days (in spite of things like "Batman vs. Superman", ironically enough), it's a bit surprising it is still out of print.
	The 4-Hour Chef For people who want to do things better, and do it in as short a time possible, look no further than this book, not surprisingly from the author of "The 4-Hour Workweek".
	The Joy of Cooking You could get by with just this cookbook for the rest of your life and be happy with your results. A must-have for a cook of any skill level, whether you're a millennial, a baby boomer, or anyone in between.
	The Laws of Cooking A protege of the mad scientist of the cooking world Alton Brown, Justin Warner breaks down cooking into combinations based on familiar foods (ie. bitter+fat+sweet=the Law of Coffer, Cream, and Sugar), that teach why certain flavors work better than others, with recipes that force you out of your cooking comfort zone whether you like to or not.

Summertime Quick Pickling

As we sweat through the dog days of summer, it's easy to forget that the cold bite of winter will soon be upon us. While it's not possible to bottle up the warmth of the season, it is possible to capture the taste of summer by pickling some of your vegetables. It's not as hard or time consuming as you would think, it's a great way to savour the bounty from local farmer's markets, and it adds a little something to a meal no matter what season.




Ingredients / Equipment

vegetables (cucumber; baby carrots, cauliflower, green beans, okra, onions, radishes, zucchini)
equal parts water and vinegar (enough to cover the vegetables, ratio can be adjusted according to tastes)
30 g granulated sugar
30 g kosher salt
15 g brown mustard seeds
5 g whole black peppercorns
1 bay leaf
enough canning jars for your vegetables

1. Pack your vegetable of choice tightly in a glass jar, leaving about 1 cm of room at the top. Place each vegetable in its own jar as vegetables pickle differently and at different rates.
   
   Note: Crunchy vegetables, like carrots, should be boiled a little before pickling; delicate vegetables such as cucumber and zucchini, don’t need to be cooked ahead of time.
   
2. Toast the mustard seeds and peppercorns in a saucepan over medium heat for about two minutes, or until fragrant . Add the remaining ingredients and stir until the sugar and salt have dissolved, and bring the mixture to a boil.
3. Pour the brine into the jar immediately, covering the vegetables completely. Allow about an hour for the mixture to cool to room temperature, then tightly seal the jar. Shake it or rotate it to evenly distribute the brine and spices, then store in the refrigerator for at least 24 hours and preferably a week before using. Your vegetables should last for about a month.