Better Later Than Never: Beer Bread

2020 is, among other things, the year everyone's inner baker came out.  It may have slowed down a bit now that the province is slowly reopening, but people have been cranking out baked goods nonstop over the past few months even with baking ingredients in short supply during the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm not much of a baker, so I have no patience or desire to get a sourdough starter going. Instead, I went with a beer bread recipe for my baking therapy. It's easy to make because it eliminates the entire process of kneading, rising, and kneading again, as the beer’s yeast content reacts with the other ingredients in the bread mix, causing the dough to rise and start to leaven. So if you can get your hands on some flour, and have some spare beer in the fridge, give this recipe a try for some easy baked goods. Hopefully, you still have some spare time...

Ingredients

410 g flour (sifted)
60 g sugar
15 g baking powder (omit if using self-rising flour)
6 g salt (omit if using self-rising flour)
120 mL melted butter
1 (355 mL) can beer (just about any will work, even non-alcoholic beer, though the taste of your bread will depend on what you use; a stout will impart a stronger flavour than an ale.
NOTE: It is highly recommended adding a packet of dry active yeast or 6 g of bread machine yeast if you use non-alcoholic beer in order to get a proper rise)

1. Preheat oven to 190 °C.
2. Sifting your flour breaks down any clumps in it and makes the flour fluffier by infusing air into it. preventing the bread from turning into something hard and inedible. If you don't have a flour sifter, measure out the flour into a bowl and mix it with either a fork or whisk. Once done, add the remaining dry ingredients and the beer and mix everything together - mix the butter into the batter if you want a more traditional bread with a soft crust.
3. Pour the mixture into a greased loaf pan. For a buttery, crunchy crust, pour the melted butter on top of the batter.
4. Bake for one hour, then remove from the pan and let cool for at least 15 minutes.

Working My Way Through The Works: (Ten Burgers in) SK8R Boy

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

May 12, 2020
Burger Description: "Peanut butter, jack cheese & bacon"
($18.28)

The original plan for this review was supposed to be completely different. I was going to celebrate hitting a double-digit number of these entries by eating at a different Works than the two locations I normally go to, but COVID-19 changed that for the foreseeable future. I couldn't eat the burger I wanted to review as the "Living on the Vedge" has been removed from the menu. So I'm going with a burger I've eaten back in the days before I blogged about food while seeing what all the fuss food delivery services are about after being a longtime holdout.  I had planned to do a pick up at the Orleans location, but The Works' website doesn't offer that service to its Ottawa area locations. Skip The Dishes, Don Draper's favourite service when he pretends to be Canadian is the default delivery option for all the local Works restaurants, but depending on the location, DoorDash and UberEats are also available.  Downloading the app to my phone was easy, and placing the order was straightforward. The app said my food would arrive ASAP, and 31 minutes later, the doorbell rang, and my food was there on the doorstep as I had instructed them to do. What arrived was the Avril Lavigne themed SK8R Boy - remember when people pretended to be appalled that she didn't know who David Bowie was back when she was the next big thing? My hamburger came with a healthy amount of peanut butter, so much I couldn't taste the jack cheese. Not tasting the cheese defeats the purpose of ordering a cheeseburger. The ghetto peanut sauce worked well with the bacon, and it gave the burger the expected nutty flavour, but it needed the kick that makes peanut sauce what it is. The peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth, which was a feeling I don't normally associate with hamburgers. Maybe that was why it was as filling and oddly addictive as it was. The onion rings were crunchy, flavourful, and in my opinion, very underrated as a side order. This is a burger that you need to be in the mood. It was interesting to eat, but I wouldn't order one again. To paraphrase the song it's named after, I say see you later boy, this burger wasn't good enough for me.

2.5 out of 5 stars - You'll get a well-cooked burger, but your enjoyment depends on your love of nut butter.

Streamline Your Supermarket Shopping

Grocery shopping in 2020 has become an ordeal.  New opening and closing hours; keeping two meters away from other shoppers; following the new one-way directions in the aisles - it's become a real pain in the ass. Now more than ever, we need to get in and out of the supermarket as efficiently as possible, with enough items bought to make it worth our while. Stocking your pantry with basic supplies makes it possible to have enough food for some decent meals while limiting your future runs to the store to buying perishable items and restocking. By purchasing the items below, you will help cut down on the number of times you have to endure waiting in line to get in and out of your favourite big box, warehouse, or grocery store - I can't think of a better way to flatten the curve.

Necessities

• apples
• baking soda (buy two boxes, one for baking, one for cleaning)
• baking powder
• bread
• butter/margarine
• carrots
• canned beans
• canned tomatoes (whole and crushed)
• canned tuna (chunk packed in water is good for sandwiches; white albacore is best for salads)
• chicken breasts
• coffee/tea
• canola oil
• cereal
• cheese 
• cornstarch
• cucumber
• dried herbs (basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme)
• eggs
• extra virgin olive oil
• flour (if you see some, grab it, it's been flying off the shelves like toilet paper recently)
• frozen vegetables (corn, peas, spinach)
• garlic
• ground beef
• jam/jelly
• ketchup
• lettuce
• mayonnaise
• mustard (yellow and Dijon)
• onions
• oranges
• pasta
• pork chops/steak (the same number of pieces of meat as household members per pack) 
• peanut butter
• potatoes
• rice
• salt
• spices (cinnamon, chili powder cumin, curry powder, nutmeg)
• sugar
• soy sauce
• stock cubes (beef, chicken, vegetable)
• vinegar

Extras (always good to have on hand)

• canned broth
• canned soups (a can of cream of mushroom and/or cream of celery, you got a key ingredient in a bunch of casseroles)
• canned vegetables
• celery
• chicken broth
• chocolate chips
• cocoa
• cottage or ricotta cheese
• cornmeal
• dried herbs (sage, tarragon, marjoram)
• evaporated milk
• frozen shrimp
• honey
• lemons
• nuts (chopped or whole)
• orange (or some other fruit) juice
• peppers (red, green, something spicier)
• plain yogurt
• popcorn
• raisins
• salsa
• seasonal fruit
• sour cream
• spices (allspice, cardamom, cinnamon sticks, cloves, coriander, star anise)
• Tabasco sauce (or another type of hot sauce)
• tortillas (corn and flour)
• tomato paste
• Worcestershire sauce

Splurges (you got to treat yo' self every now and then)

• Arborio rice 
• Basmati rice
• Ben and Jerry's ice cream (I'm loving the new Netflix & Chilll'd flavour)
• brownie mix
• coconut milk
• dried mushrooms (shiitake or porcini)
• fresh herbs (basil, cilantro, flat-leaf parsley, rosemary, sage)
• fresh pasta (specifically fresh ravioli or tortellini)
• marshmallows
• miso paste
• olives (not the ones in jars on the shelf, the ones from the deli or gourmet shop)
• pesto
• pine nuts
• sesame oil (remember, a little dab will do ya when using it on food)
• seasonal berries
• spices (Chinese 5-spice powder, garam masala, saffron)

Note: You know your food likes and dislikes better than I do, use some common sense when buying any of the above items. If you're allergic to something or have certain dietary restrictions, don't buy it.

Note: Information used on this blog came from "Cook Your Meals: The Easy Way", by Sharon Bowers, Macmillian Publishing

Double Frying Your Fries

French fries have nothing to do with France. What we now know as French fries can be traced back to late 1600 Belgium, where poor villagers were forced to use potatoes when the fish they usually fried was unavailable to them during the winter. American soldiers stationed in Belgium during WWI discovered their fried potatoes, and because the Belgian army spoke French, the Americans called them “French fries.", and the rest is history. Currently, there are over 90 million kilograms of Canadian French fry potatoes stuck in storage due to the diminished demand from restaurants because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Canadian producers are pleading for the public to consume more French fries, and because we're all in this together, I'm willing to do my part to help Canadian farmers out. If I'm going to be forced to eat more French fries, I may as well make them the best way possible - crispy on the outside, soft on the inside. As I don't own an air fryer, I will have to use the double fry method. This will take longer to make, but luckily, 2020 has given some of us all the time we need to live our best French fry life.

Ingredients

• Russet potatoes - they're denser and they have the least amount of moisture in them; avoid red and new potatoes as they contain so much water that they will actually hollow out when you fry them when the water evaporates
• canola or peanut oil - oils with a high smoke count will break down slower leading to crispier fries
• lemon juice

1. Fill a large bowl with cold water and add to it 15 mL of lemon juice. Set the bowl aside.
2. Peel some potatoes and remove any eyes from them. Slice the potatoes into French fries and put them into the bowl of cold water as you go. Potatoes start to darken if they're exposed to oxygen for too long, including the oxygen in the water - the acid from the lemon juice helps keep the potatoes white.
3. When you have enough fries, rinse them under cold water in the bowl until the water turns clear to rinse off any excess starch. Add another 15 mL of lemon juice and a few cups of ice to chill the water thoroughly. Move the bowl to the refrigerator to chill for about 30 minutes.
4. Heat the cooking oil you're using in either a deep fryer or in a Dutch oven to 163℃
5. Remove the French fries from the ice bath and pat them dry with paper towels.
6. When the oil reaches temperature, carefully add the fries to it. Cook them for 6-8 minutes, or until they're soft and are slightly golden in colour. While the fries are cooking, put some paper towels at the bottom of a bowl large enough to hold all the fries and set it aside.
7. Carefully take the fries from the oil and put them in the paper-lined bowl to drain.  Let them stand at room temperature for 15 minutes, or place the bowl in the refrigerator them again until you're ready to use them. Remember to turn off the heat under the oil during this time.
8. Reheat the oil to 190℃, and carefully return the fries to the oil to cook for another 2 to 3 minutes or until they're golden brown and crispy. Allow them the drain again, then salt generously, and serve immediately.

Commentary on Unpopular Food and Beverages Opinions

Looking for a way to blow off some pent-up cabin fever with whoever you're forced to spend time with while self-isolating? The Internet is filled with unpopular food-related opinions, so use some of these talking points the next time you feel the need to pick a fight with someone to break up some of the monotony. Just keep in mind that it may not be worth it if you end up self-isolating in a tent in the yard; like the President of the United States, this blog will not be responsible for the end of any friendships, engagements, or marriages.

1. Pineapple is a legitimate pizza topping.
   This one always starts fights because there is no middle ground. You either love pineapple on a pizza, or you hate it with a passion. Pairing salty pork and sweet fruit makes sense, but putting it on a pizza does nothing for me.
2. Ketchup should be fridge-cold.
   Even though I always stick the bottle of ketchup in the fridge after I open it, this is not a deal-breaker with me. Besides, it helps to cool off fresh out the fryer French fries before you jam them in your mouth.
3. Ketchup be damned.
   I know that they don't like ketchup on hot dogs in Chicago, but you must really hate the taste of processed tomatoes to forego it completely. 
4. Beer out of a can tastes weird.
   In theory, beer in a can should taste better than beer in a bottle as cans keep out all light and are completely airtight to ensure the beer never gets tainted. People assume they can taste the aluminum from the can when they take a sip, but the inside of beer cans have been lined with a thin layer of plastic since the 1930s, so maybe it's the plastic they object to. Luckily, this is a problem that can be solved by handing the person an empty glass.
5. Mushrooms are disgusting.
   True, they are a fungus that grows on shit, but honey is basically bee vomit, and no one is up in arms about putting it on toast. 
6. Strawberries get more credit than they deserve.
   Do the tarts, turnovers, and shortcakes strawberries make really steal the glory away from foods made from blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, and all the other berries? I don't really understand this strawberry hating. 
7. Pickle juice is delicious, nutritious, and a treat for your mouth and body.
   It turns out that they really are a lot of health reasons to drink pickle juice. Athletes swear that drinking it helps relieve muscle cramps and that it replenishes electrolytes better than Gatorade, among other things. I am sold on the idea that pickle brine is great for marinating chicken in, but otherwise, I'm not big on pickles as a whole, drinking the juice would be a big pass for me.
8. Room-temperature butter is the truth.
   Bakers looking to get the flakiest of flaky pie crusts would disagree, but there's no denying that warm butter is easier to spread on toast. 
9. "I hate avocados, but I love guacamole."
   This describes my feelings about avocados perfectly, without any seasonings, I can't eat avocado, just as I can't eat a burrito without guacamole.
10. Brunch is not bad, but it is dramatically overrated.
    Going out to brunch - those were the days. Anyone who believes brunch is more trouble than it's worth has either read "Kitchen Confidential" or has waited a long time to get seated for brunch while hungover. Brunch was never a big thing in my life, it has to be a really great Eggs Benedict for me to get dressed up to go eat it. That said, I look forward to going to  Stoneface Dolly's for breakfast when we're allowed to eat in restaurants again.
11. Liver is beautiful, the most underrated food of all time.
    A bold statement considering how people stick out their tongues in disgust after just hearing the word "liver", but there has to be a reason why liver and onions can still be found on the menu in some diners and restaurants. To my knowledge, I've never eaten liver; maybe it's time to remedy that while on lockdown - I'll keep you posted.
12. Watermelon is disgusting.
    The racial overtures that are associated with black people and watermelon is disgusting, but the fruit itself? It is nice in a fruit salad, try grilling it to bring out its natural sweetness.
13. Nuts in chocolate is really, really, wrong.
    This is only a problem if you have a nut allergy, as it's not that hard to find nut-free chocolate. I would have thought chocolate-covered raisins would have caused more of an uproar, but I guess Raisinets are more popular than I ever imagined.
14. Rare steak sucks.
    If the idea of ordering a piece of meat that's still mostly red when you cut it offends you, consider that some people like to order their steak blue, seared on the outside, and completely raw inside. A steak cooked that way has an internal temperature that hovers around 50 degrees Celsius, compared to a medium-rare that roughly ten degrees hotter. If anything, my only concern is whether or not you put ketchup on it, because come on...
15. Bacon is very good but… like… it’s not THAT good.
    I pretty much said as much back in one of my Works hamburger reviews. Fried pork is tasty, but it's not the end-all, be-all of food.
16. Tea sucks.
    For years I was a dedicated tea drinker, having a cup of orange pekoe in the morning with my parents at breakfast. Then I got a job with people who only drank coffee at break, and from then I never looked back. I wouldn't go as far as to say tea is horrible, maybe a person just needs exposure to different teas.
17. "I can’t stand pizza with tomato sauce."
    As a traditionalist, I would have to ask them what sauce they prefer if they aren't messing with tomato sauce. Bechamel is a popular alternative, along with pesto, BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, or chili sauce. I'd be willing to try one of these different sauces on a slice, but for me to swear off regular pizza sauce, it has to be one helluva of a great sauce.
18. Meat is overrated.
    I'm assuming this is the opinion of the hardest of hardcore vegans and vegetarians. I'm always surprised at how good the food is when I do eat something vegetable-based, but unless it's for health reasons, I don't see why I wouldn't want to eat meat.
19. Cake is not that good.
20. Chocolate ice cream is absolutely disgusting.
21. Vegetables are better than dessert.
    Who the hell is saying any of this?!? I'll give you that vegetables are very tasty when they're not boiled to a flavorless mush, that chocolate is not everyone's favourite ice cream, and that some people prefer other pastries. But this is just food trolling.
22. "I don’t like Nutella."
    As popular as the chocolate-hazelnut spread is, it's not something I keep in the pantry myself. I can see why it has its detractors, everyone has their limits on how much sweet that can take. For those who can't get enough of the stuff,  here's a recipe from "The 4-Hour Chef" on how to make your own Nutella in case the grocery store runs out:
    
DIY Nutella

200 g canned hazelnut-praline paste (order it from Amazon)
100 g softened unsalted butter
75 g melted choclate (preferly 64% cacao bittersweet)

1. Mix the hazelnut-praline paste and the butter with an immersion blender in a deep bowl until smooth
2. Add the chocolate and beat until it's smooth again.
3. Store in an airtight container in a dark, dry place at cool room temperature for 3 months.

Animated Eats: The Upside Down Flint-Rubble Double Bubble Cake

If you lived in Ottawa at any point in the 80s, you saw one of these cartoons on CJOH at noon - the underrated "Rocket Robin Hood", retro "Spider-Man", or the classic Hanna-Barbera creation "The Flintstones". One of my most cherished childhood memories is of me coming home from school and watching Fred and Barney's pre-historic adventures while eating a hot dog my mom made me for lunch.  On this day back in 1961, the episode "In the Dough" featured Fred and Barney posing as their wives in order to win a baking competition. The recipe used was for a dessert their wives dubbed the upside-down Flint-Rubble bubble cake. As the actual recipe for this was just a part of animated lore, one would assume that if it existed, it would show that the cake was baked in a single pan with its toppings (some sort of chopped or sliced fruits) on the bottom of the pan before the batter is poured in to form a baked-on topping after the cake is inverted - hence it being “upside-down”. To pay tribute to this cartoon cake, I decided to post a recipe from another childhood memory of mine - looking through my mom's copy of The all new Purity Cook Book: A Complete Guide of Canadian Cooking. I always loved the picture of the pineapple upside-down cake they used, and I was crushed when I saw they used a black and white photo for the reproduction of the original 1967 edition I have. So yabba-dabba-doo yourself a favour, and celebrate this day in TV food history by making this as a St. Patrick's Day dessert; if you insist on having a wee bit o' the green, you sticklers can use green Maraschino cherries in the recipe below.

Ingredients:

pineapple rings (fresh or canned, your choice)
Maraschino cherries (optional)
1 egg
250 mL milk
5 mL vanilla
200 g white sugar
190 g flour
100 g brown sugar, lightly packed
65 g shortening (butter or margarine can be substitistied as technically any fat that’s used in baking is considered “shortening”)
40 g butter or margarine
10 g baking powder
5 g salt

1. Preheat the oven to 176°C. Melt the 40 g butter/margarine and pour it in a 20 x 20 cm baking pan.
2. Sprinkle the brown sugar on what's in the baking pan, then cover it with the pineapple rings; if desired, place a cherry on the center on the rings.
3. In a bowl, combine the remaining sugar and whatever you are using for shortening, then add the egg and the vanilla. Beat until the mixture is light and fluffy.
4. Blend together the flour, baking powder, and the salt in a separate bowl. Add the contents to the first bowl, then mix everything together. Pour in the milk and then mix again.
5. Pour the batter over the contents of the baking pan. Bake in the oven for 40-50 minutes. Once the cake is done, invert it onto a serving plate immediately. Serve warm.

Dining During The Coronapocalypse

It took only a matter of weeks for the coronavirus to go from being a punchline about Mexican beer to panic about a global pandemic. With quarantines and self-isolation being recommended by health officials as ways to control the spread of the virus, an industry that thrives on people getting together like the restaurant industry does is encountering a serious problem. The colder months are usually a slow period at the best of times, and in an industry known for low-profit margins, there is a good chance that one of your favorite eateries may not outlast the outbreak. Some establishments have adapted by no longer accepting reusable cups in an effort to help prevent the spread of COVID-19; some places are moving to digital payment only; a lot of restaurants who don't already have some sort of delivery may be forced into doing so. As dining establishments adjust to these extraordinary circumstances, we must change as well. Here are some tips to help guide us through this new normal:

• People working in restaurants have a tendency to work when they're sick - please don't do this now. I understand that people need to work to order pay their bills, but if someone shows symptoms of the coronavirus and they still head out to work, they aren't helping anyone, especially themselves. If you are in such a position, tell team members who are not feeling well to stay home (yes, I know it's not easy running a restaurant, let alone one with less staff, but remember I'm just some asshole who doesn't want to get sick when he goes out to eat, so cut me some slack). Any restaurant that forces its employees to work when they are ill should be outed and shamed on social media -  the internet never forgets.
• Tip generously if you are dining out. Remember, a lot of people in the food service industry make minimum wage, and as fewer people head out to eat, everyone’s paycheque is going to be smaller. 
• Don't no-show your reservations at the restaurant you booked. If you can’t make it, call the restaurant and cancel; this is just good etiquette, like washing your hands, and covering your mouth when you sneeze or cough.
• Consider buying a gift card from your favourite local coffee shop, or restaurant. It's a great way to show you're there for them now and in the future. If you’re torn between a chain restaurant and your favourite smaller spot, consider supporting a local business. Chances are that burger or fast food joint will be able to survive a few months of slumping sales, that little place around the corner you go for brunch at, not so much.
• Start lobbying the municipal, provincial, and federal government for whatever payroll and tax breaks for small businesses they can give you. Politicians always say they work for the people, now is as good a time as any to start holding their feet to the fire about that promise.
• Finally, let's remember that the people who cook, serve, sell, or deliver our food are human beings who are dealing with the stress of this epidemic too. There's no reason to get mad at your server or the delivery person because all the stores are out of toilet paper. If you know anyone who’s struggling during this time, reach out and show care and concern. The only way we're going to get through this is by sticking together and helping each other.