I Tried This So You Don't Have To: Rap Snacks Ramen

Walking past a Showcase storefront at the mall led to a surprising culinary discovery. On a stand near the entrance of the "Home of the Hottest Trends" and the best as seen on television products in Canada were packages of ramen noodles for sale. But these aren't just any instant noodle cups - these were Rap Snacks. What makes them rap snacks? Mainly because they feature the faces of prominent rappers on the snack's colourful packaging. The company making this product was founded in Philadelphia back in 1994 by James “Fly” Lindsay, and ever since he made a deal with Universal Records to feature some of the label’s artists, he has used rappers in the marketing of his food brands. Intrigued by how good these hip-hop foods were, I immediately bought the three different flavours available.  Here's what I found out:

Louisiana Hot & Spicy Chicken flavour

Featured Artist: Boosie (aka Boosie Badazz, formerly Lil Boosie)
Boosie started rapping in the late 1990s as a member of the Louisiana hip hop collective Concentration Camp and began his solo career in 2000. Despite releasing numerous albums, Boosie is better known for his homophobic tirades about Lil Nas X.
Standout Song: Mop Wit It with MO3 
Inspirational Message on Packaging: "Sometimes you need those bad days because it helps you truly appreciate the good ones."
Ramen Impressions: I prepared this according to the boiling water directions, filling the cup to the fill line, closing the top, and letting it stand for three minutes before eating. After stirring it up, I didn't smell anything resembling chicken. I could see bits of corn, peas, carrots and onion rehydrating in the dark broth, but nothing meat-like. After reading the ingredients I could see why - they use something called "powdered chicken meat". I started to wonder what part of the chicken was used for their meat powder, but then decided it was best not to think about it. The broth was hot and spicy but not flavourful, just very salty with a burning, slightly chemical aftertaste. The noodles were bland and were there just to make up the meal.

Beef Prime Rib flavour

Featured Artist: E-40
One of the most influential Bay Area rappers to sign a major-label deal, E-40 debuted in 1988 as a member of the group the Click through the label he started, Sick Wid' It Records. Currently, this entrepreneur has branched out into the food business with a line of sausages and burritos, wines, and liquors in his empire.
Standout Song: Choices
Inspirational Message on Packaging: "Believe in your own dreams before you believe in somebody else's dreams...you smell me?"

Ramen Impressions: This time I made the noodles with the microwave instructions. Three minutes later I was smelling something that at least had a meaty aroma. Fortunately, the broth wasn't as salty as what was in the previous ramen cup, and the noodles weren't as chalky tasting. Still no actual meat to be seen though. Saying this was like prime rib is a Golden Gate bridge long stretch, but it's a definite improvement from the previous tasting.

Creamy Chicken Gumbo flavour

Featured Artist: Master P
Probably the most recognizable name of the bunch, Master P has made a name for himself as a rapper, record producer, actor, author, and occasional NBA basketball player,. Along with his label No Limit Forever Records, P, along with his son, has partnered with the owner of Rap Snacks to bring people the Icon ramen brand.

Standout Song: Make Em Say Ugh

Inspirational Message on Packaging: "There's no limit to success."

Ramen Impressions: This cup was made with some leftover hot water from the kettle. I wasn't expecting much when I saw that cooked chicken powder was back as one of the ingredients. If they want to market this as being creamy, it needs xanthan gum or cornstarch to help thicken it. This wasn't creamy at all. Master P must have pulled rank to get better ingredients for his ramen than for Boosie's product, as this was easily the better chicken offering available. That said, it shows how beloved P is in New Orleans as anyone else calling something like this gumbo-like would have been found dead in the bayou.

Overall impressions: A proper bowl of ramen still requires fresh ingredients and fresh broth. You're not going to get a five-star meal from a $5 glammed-up instant ramen cup, but it's no better or worse than any other instant ramen you've ever eaten. Your enjoyment of Rap Snacks may depend on how much you enjoy listening to the featured artist, and even then, you will need every trick in the book to improve instant noodles if you choose to eat these. Recommended for ramen collectors and hardcore fans of dirty-south 90s hip hop.

The Year That Was 2021

With the threat of another lockdown upon us with the Omicron variant running rampant, 2022 is beginning to look and feel a lot more like most of 2020. As we head into the new year, let's take a moment to look back on the food-related events that made 2021 the year that it was.

Ketchup package shortage
Takeout usage was higher than ever because of COVID in-house dining restrictions throughout the year. This created a severe shortage of the carryout version of the popular condiment. It got to the point where a thriving market for ketchup packets on eBay existed, with prices going for anywhere between 50¢ to $5; you'd think they were TimBiebs boxes or something. I would have thought investing in a bottle of ketchup would negate any packet shortage, but I guess that would mean going to the grocery store.

Air fryers

The adult E-Z Bake Oven that is the air fryer is still as popular as ever with it taking up counter space in kitchens across the country. With an air fryer, it is possible to make healthier alternatives to deep-fried foods, but people need to keep in mind that frozen chicken nuggets don't magically become healthier because less oil is used - the nutrition value of the food doesn't change. My old-school deep fryer still works so I'm not in the market to upgrade. Plus, I'd rather get a full-sized convection oven, and I don't have the space for an air fryer because I already have last year's must-have kitchen appliance.

Buttergate
When people fill the large amount of the time on their hands that the pandemic has given them with baking, they start noticing something is wrong with the butter they're using. Early in 2021 people claimed that Canadian butter no longer softened at room temperature. People claimed this "hard" butter was because of an increased use of palmitic acid, a byproduct of palm oil, commonly added to cow feed. Gripes about hard butter took a more serious turn when reports out of British Columbia about non-foaming milk lead to discussions about whether dairy farmers should even be feeding palm fats to cows and the lack of transparency about the process in the daily industry. The Dairy Farmers of Canada says there's no reason to be concerned but they will look into the matter further to reassure consumers and stakeholders. I hadn't noticed anything different about the butter I've used in the past year, but if "Buttergate" leads to better dairy products, it will be worth all the drama around it.

Popcorn salad
Molly Yeh had no idea she would create the year's most controversial dish. On her Food Network show "Girl Meets Farm", Yeh introduced the popcorn salad and promptly broke the internet. This isn't her first daring take on the classic American salad, having created a pizza salad (think a deconstructed pizza in a bowl), and a chocolate bar salad (!)  in the past. I'm not much of a salad eater, so I'll assume it's the combination of popcorn and vegetables that have people up in arms. To satisfy your curiosity about popcorn salad, try the recipe below :

Ingredients: Molly Yeh’s Popcorn Salad

1/3 cup popcorn kernels
vegetable oil, as needed for popping
white Cheddar popcorn seasoning
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 shallot, thinly sliced
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 cups sugar snap peas, strings removed, cut crosswise into thirds
1 cup shredded carrot
1 cup chopped celery plus 1/2 cup tender inner celery leaves
1 bunch watercress, trimmed and torn into bite-size pieces

1. Pop the popcorn in a popcorn maker according to the manufacturer's instructions. While it's still hot, sprinkle with the white cheddar popcorn seasoning to taste. Let cool completely.
2. Whisk the mayonnaise, sour cream, cider vinegar, sugar, and Dijon together in a large serving bowl. Stir in the shallot. Season with salt and pepper.
3. Add the snap peas, carrot, and chopped celery and toss to coat. Add the popcorn and toss to coat the kernels in the dressing.
4. Pile the watercress on top and sprinkle with the celery leaves. Serve immediately.

Plant-based eggs

Plant-based meat never really took off as a lot of people hoped. As close to meat as it was, it still wasn't enough like the real thing for most consumers. But that didn't stop the makers of Just Egg, a mung bean-based product known for its ability to mimic the look and texture of cooked eggs. I think these will go over huge with the fast-food crowd, or at least better than those plant-based sandwiches that silently fell off a lot of menus. And speaking of fast-food sandwiches...

Subway's legal problems
Having barely survived the fallout of having Jared Fogel as a spokesperson, Subway continues to be plagued with accusations of selling fake meat. After winning the right to proceed with a defamation lawsuit against the CBC after a story from the show "Marketplace" in 2017 claimed about half the DNA in Subway chicken was soy, the sandwich makers had to deal with a similar claim about what's really in their tuna sandwiches. With claims that their seafood is not "100% tuna" as advertised, Subway owners must long for the days when the biggest worry they had was complaints about the foot-longs not being 12 inches in length.

Restaurant worker shortage
Not surprisingly, the restaurant industry has encountered unprecedented difficulties over the past two years. With numerous restaurants forced to shut down in 2020 restaurants found it hard to get employees back when they reopened in 2021. Some people blamed CERB payments and a lack of work ethic in today's workers; a lot of people blamed low wages and poor working conditions for the lack of interest in working in the service industry. This may change now that the minimum wage has increased this year, but don't be surprised if your favourite restaurant is closed more often than it used to be. 

Price increases and shortages
If you went to the supermarket at any point last year, you noticed that if what you wanted was in stock, it now costs more than it used to. Supply-chain bottlenecks, labour shortages, product shortages, strong demand - there were lots of reasons why grocery bills were high. Reports of shortages of turkeys and liquor may have been a bit premature, as I saw plenty of both available through the Christmas season. As food gets more expensive, people will adapt their diets according to their budgets. Luckily, this can be done without sacrificing dietary concerns or flavour.

What does 2022 have in store for us? Stay tuned...

A Charlie Brown Cookbook: Peanuts Family Cookbook

Normally around this time, I would have watched my all-time favourite holiday special, "A Charlie Brown Christmas". But because Tim Cook decided only AppleTV+ subscribers deserve this present, I'm out of luck. Fortunately, I discovered a literary substitute to satisfy my fix for Charles Schultz's cry against the commercialization of Christmas. "Peanuts Family Cookbook" is similar to any other themed cookbook, with recipes that have a link, however tenuous, to a character from a popular movie, TV show, or book. While the recipes are easy to make with or without parental supervision, the real highlight of the cookbook is the artwork and the reprints of some of the old comic strips, making it fun to flip through even if you don't make anything from it. It seems only fitting that Franklin on Food celebrates this cookbook with a recipe from the character who shares a name with this blog.

Ingredients: Franklin's Frozen Fruit Crush

200 g sugar
240 mL water
13 plums, 12 halved and pitted

1. Mix the water and sugar in a small saucepot and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and let simmer until the sugar has completely dissolved. Set the mixture aside to cool.
2. Pour the sugar mixture into a blender and add the 12 plums. Blend everything until it's smooth.
3. Empty the contents of the blender into a standard baking dish, cover it with plastic wrap, and put it in the freezer for about an hour. Remove the baking dish from the freezer, uncover, and rake the mixture into flakes with a fork.
4. Cover with plastic wrap again and return the baking dish to the freezer. Repeat the raking of the mixture every thirty minutes for three hours until the mixture looks like shaved ice.
5. Scoop into glasses or bowls, garnish with slices from the remaining plum, and serve immediately.

Grey Cup Eats - Honey Dill Sauce vs. Lumberjack Sandwich

Full disclosure - I don't give a fuck about the Grey Cup. 

It's not that I don't like football or the CFL.  I remember listening to games on CFRA with my father back when I was a kid. I've been to Ottawa Rough Rider/Renegade/Redblacks games in the past and enjoyed myself at them. I appreciate the history of the Grey Cup and the skill of all its players and coaches. But Canada's version of The Big Game never resonated the same way as the American Superbowl does with me. I remember the Chicago Bears thrashing the New England Patriots in the first Superbowl I ever saw, but couldn't tell you who won the first Grey Cup game I watched or who played in it (I want to say Doug Flutie was involved). I've been to numerous Superbowl parties over the course of my life, but I've never been to or heard of anyone throwing one for the Grey Cup.  I do know that this year is a repeat of the 2019 contest, with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers taking on the Hamilton Tiger-Cats.  The recipes below represent the best food offerings from each team's respective cities. During the game, Winnipeggers will reach for their favourite honey dill sauce when looking for something to dip finger foods in, while Hamiltonians will have the home field advantage with the hearty grilled cheese sandwiches inspired by the hometown Gorilla Cheese food truck. No matter who you're rooting for, these dishes would be a great addition to any tailgate. As for the game itself? I'll probably check the score periodically while watching other things - those shows I've been planning to binge on aren't going to watch themselves.

Ingredients: Honey dill sauce

45 g mayonnaise
20 g honey
5 g chopped fresh dill
a squeeze of lemon

1. Mix the mayonnaise and honey together until completely combined. Add dill and lemon and mix again.
• For a sweeter sauce, use less mayo and add 2.5 mL of Worcestershire sauce; for a tangier sauce, use less honey, half as much dill, and add 2.5 g of mustard powder.
2. Place the sauce in the fridge for at least 15 minutes before serving for best results.

If you develop a taste for honey dill sauce, you need to find a jar of Greetalia, a provincial favourite.

 

Ingredients: Gorilla Cheese lumberjack sandwich

15 g salted butter, at room temperature
7.5 g mayonnaise
3 slices bacon, cooked
2 slices white bread
2 thick slices aged cheddar
several thin slices Granny Smith apple
pure maple syrup

1. In a medium bowl, mix the butter and the mayonnaise together until it is smooth and well-blended.
2. Spread on one side of each piece of bread with the butter/mayo mixture. Place the buttered sides of the bread face down on a cutting board, and top each slice with a slice of cheddar cheese largely to almost cover the bread.
3. On one slice of bread and cheese, arrange a single layer of apple slices. Top with the bacon and drizzle everything with maple syrup.
4. Heat a large, non-stick skillet over medium heat. Add the bread slices, separately, buttered sides down. Cook until they become golden, about 3 to 4 minutes. Form the bread into a sandwich, with the buttered sides facing out. Cook until golden on both sides, about 2 to 3 minutes.
5. Transfer the sandwich back to the cutting board, and let it stand for a minute before slicing.

Baking Snowballs

Whether you call them Mexican wedding cakes or Russian tea cakes, it's easy to see why these pastries are affectionately called snowballs. They're white, they're round, and like the frozen projectiles they resemble, they're very easy to make. As we enter the holiday season, you can be sure that a plate of these cookies will be a welcome addition to any Christmas potluck or office get-together. Just remember to follow public health guidelines to protect yourself and others.

Ingredients

560 g all-purpose flour
230 g butter
125 g chopped pecans
65 g confectioners' sugar
45 g confectioners' sugar for dusting, or as needed
(if you don't have any confectioners' sugar on hand, pulse 200 g of white sugar with 14 g cornstarch in a blender or food processor until it looks powdery)
35 g finely crushed peppermint candy canes (optional)
1.5 g teaspoon salt
5 mL vanilla extract

1. Preheat your oven to 175 degrees C.
2. Blend the butter with 65 g of confectioners' sugar and the vanilla extract. Mix in the flour, pecans, and salt. Roll about a tablespoon or so of dough into balls and place on an ungreased cookie sheet.
3. Place the cookie sheet in the oven and let the cookies bake for about 15 minutes or until they are golden. Do not allow them to get too brown - it's better to undercook them than to overcook them. 
4. While the cookies are still hot, roll them in the remaining powdered sugar. Once they have cooled, give them another roll in the sugar. For some extra Christmas cheer, add the candy cane dust to the sugar used for the final dusting.
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Working My Way Through The Works: Hamburger Mary

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description:"Real mayo, egg, tomato, cheddar cheese & bacon"
($12.09 + tax)

October 30, 2021

Whether it's from a quail, a duck, or a chicken, if you want to fancy up a dish, you put an egg on it. Why? People on cooking shows always rave about how it adds a nice creaminess to whatever food it's placed on, and it looks so pretty seeing the bright yellow yolk burst out of the fluffy whiteness surrounding it. Still, seeing it on a hamburger is still odd to me, so on my long-overdue return to the Works, I decided to go with the Hamburger Mary.  This was the first time my wife and I have been to a restaurant together since the province lifted the COVID-19 pandemic capacity limits. It didn't take long before we were seated after we were screened for proof of vaccination, a process that wasn't as time-consuming or invasive as the anti-vaccine crowd would have you believe. Biting into my hamburger when it arrived was a bit of a surprise for me as I was expecting my first bite to end with egg yolk dribbling into my beard. But the fried egg on my patty was more like biting into the egg of a breakfast sandwich from a fast-food place, rubbery and firm. I don't usually put mayo on my hamburgers, so I couldn't tell if the healthy dollop of mayonnaise on my bun was homemade or from a jar. Everything else about the burger was fine - the patty was cooked, the Cheddar cheese and bacon added flavour, and the tomato slice added freshness to every bite. As always, I went with the onion rings with Beechhouse sauce as my side. Overall, it was a decent cheeseburger, but putting an egg on it didn't elevate it as much as you would expect it to. I now get why chefs use cooking eggs to test a new employee's cooking technique - if you can't get the timing and temperature for a fried egg right, don't bother adding it to a hamburger.

2.5 out of 5 stars 

Everyday Cranberry Sauce

Cranberry sauce only gets its time to shine twice a year. It makes an appearance at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, usually still in the shape of the can it came out of. Fans of this seasonal condiment shouldn't limit themselves to those two days, especially when cranberries are available year-round in either fresh or frozen forms. With the recipe below, it is possible to enjoy its tart sweetness anytime you're in the mood for poultry or ham. 

Ingredients

475 mL reduced-sodium chicken broth
100 g cranberries
115 g onion, finely chopped
60 g sugar
15 g butter
5.5 g cornstarch mixed with 15 mL water
2.5 g dried sage
2.5 g dried thyme

1. In a large saucepan melt the butter over medium heat. Add the onions, and let them cook for about 8 minutes, until they turn golden, stirring occasionally.
2. Add the dried sage and thyme and cook for a minute. Pour in the chicken broth and let it simmer for about 10 to 15 minutes until it has reduced to about 355 mL. Strain the mixture then pour the liquid back into the saucepan.
3. Put the cranberries and the sugar in the liquid, and boil for about 5 to 8 minutes until the berries burst. Whisk in the cornstarch mixture then let it come to a boil again. Cook until the sauce begins to thicken, about 1 to 2 minutes. Remove the saucepan from the heat and let the sauce thicken as it stands. Season with salt and pepper and serve on the meat of your choice.

Note: This recipe was taken from "Everyday Food Great Food Fast" by Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc.