Working My Way Through The Works: Dead Ringer

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Glebe (580 Bank St.)
Burger Description: "Smoked beef brisket, smokey BBQ sauce, jack cheese & an O-ring"
($11.97)

April 18, 2019
Like my last visit to this location, it wasn't very busy when I arrived on the Thursday before the Easter weekend. Considering how late it was when I arrived, this wasn't a bad thing. I immediately ordered from the lunch specials menu. My lunch came promptly, and I admired its lunchpail elegance while listening to CCR sing about a bathroom on the right. I got another sense of deja vu after my first bite, as it reminded of another hamburger I've ordered here, but with a spicier (and IMHO, better) BBQ sauce, and an onion ring instead of caramelized onions. Other than those changes, it was a dead ringer for a burger the Barking Cow; I see what you did there, well played. I raved about the Barking Cow, so I'm not going to say anything bad about the Dead Ringer. It was a particularly juicy burger, so I was gratefully when my server promptly appeared with extra napkins. I did a doubletake when I realized it was the same server as last time because I remembered his name is the same as my son's.  An appropriate way to end this satisfying out of burger experience.

5 out of 5 stars - A great burger that won't bust a hole in your pocket.

An Amuse-bouche of My Own

Back during the poker boom of the 2000s, At a weekend poker get-together at a friend's house, I went to the kitchen during a lull in the game to get something to eat. There was the usual spread of snack food available, but the star of the show was a CrockPot filled with cocktail meatballs bubbling in grape jelly. I wanted to sample some but I didn't want to get the cards sticky, and I couldn't see any toothpicks to bring them to my mouth. I did notice some Scoops^® brand tortilla chips in a bag on the snack table, so I poured some of them on a paper plate and used the serving spoon to drop a meatball in each crunchy little bowl. When I returned to the table, a player noticed my plate and called attention to it with an amused outburst. I know I wasn't the first person to ever put finger food in bowl-shaped food, but I was the first person to do so that night, and soon, everyone at the table was eating their meatballs that way, and my impromptu hors d'oeuvre was referred to as "the Franklin" for the rest of the evening. To recreate my accidental snack, I used a recipe based on the one used at the New York meatball chain The Meatball Shop. Because only the best deserve to have my name on it...

Ingredients:

910 g ground beef (80 percent lean)
2 large eggs
30 mL olive oil
25 g ricotta cheese
25 g breadcrumbs
10 g salt
7 g chopped parsley
4 g chopped fresh oregano or 1 g. dried oregano
2 pinches ground fennel
1 pinch red pepper flakes
1 jar of your favourite grape jelly
1 bottle your favourite barbecue sauce

1. Preheat the oven to 232 °C. Drizzle the olive oil onto a 33 x 23 cm baking dish and use your hand to evenly coat the entire surface. Set the pan aside.
2. Combine the ground beef, ricotta, eggs, breadcrumbs, parsley, oregano, salt, red pepper flakes, and fennel in a large mixing bowl and mix by hand until thoroughly incorporated. Roll the mixture into small meatballs (about half the size of your thumb), making sure to pack the meat firmly. Place the balls in the prepared baking dish, being careful to line them up snugly and in even rows vertically and horizontally to form a grid. The meatballs should be touching one another.
3. Roast the meatballs for 20 minutes, or until they are firm and cooked through - you're looking for 74 °C using a meat thermometer inserted into the center of a meatball.
4. While the meatballs are firm and fully cooked, remove them from the oven and drain the excess grease from the pan. In a separate saucepan, combine the grape jelly with the barbecue sauce, and heat over medium-low heat, stirring constantly.
5. Once the sauce has been well combined and heated through, put the meatballs in either a warm CrockPot or a large saucepan on low heat and pour the sauce on top of them. When you're ready to serve, put a meatball in a Scoops^® brand tortilla chip (or on a toothpick if you're a traditionalist).

Working My Way Through 'The Works': Bacon You Fancy Huh?

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception. These are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Aged white cheddar, thick cut maple bacon, bacon roasted tomatoes, arugula & mayo"
($17.27)

April 10, 2019
This is the first burger I've reviewed from the Works' Top Ten Menu, though online, they only show nine burgers. I'll assume it's because no one wants to constantly update the website. The web developer in me finds this lazy and an ineffective way to get information to clients, but the hungry blogger in me knows that restaurants are supposed to be more concerned about food than web content. My burger arrived within 20 minutes, a reasonable time considering how late I arrived during lunch service. I didn't want to pass the time listening to the kitchen staff belting out the tunes piped into the place, so I listen to some podcasts on my phone.  As you can see, they really went heavy with the arugula, but I was too hungry to move it to the other bun for a better picture; there was a lot of bacon under all that salad.  Remember when bacon wasn't the food end-all be all? Bacon suddenly became the ultimate cooking cheat. Need a way to make something taste better?  Wrap it with bacon. Adam Conover of "Adam Ruins Everything" fame believes the hype around bacon is all part of a marketing scheme between fast food companies and pork producers. Who am I to question someone with their own TV show, but I didn't need much convincing that I liked bacon after I tasted it when could chew solid foods - as a kid my favourite was the bacon rind on the slices my parents used to buy from Saslove's in the Market. I don't know how thick the bacon on my lunch was cut, but I can say there was bacon in every bite I had, it was layered it in such a way that I got a taste of salty pork flavour every time.  Bacon roasted tomatoes could mean they wrapped tomatoes with bacon and roasted them, or chopped up the tomatoes and cooked them in bacon grease. Either would be an acceptable end to a mean. Like with meat, aging brings out the flavour in cheese and its sharpness, and it tasted good in this hamburger. I know bacon mayonnaise exists, I'm amazed they didn't add it to this for even more bacon flavour. I didn't get that peppery taste from the arugula, in spite of the amount on my burger. Overall it was an enjoyable hamburger. Pricey, but you get what you pay for. Goes well with a tower of onion rings.

4 out of 5 stars - A good splurge burger to upgrade to when the restaurant Dave Thomas named after his daughter isn't selling the Baconator.

Snacking Suggestions for the Masses

We all have our reasons to snack. Whether its to comfort ourselves or to refuel our bodies, everyone has the occasional craving that can only be satisfied by something sweet or savoury. For that reason, I've made a list of the best snacks to have on hand whenever that feeling occurs. Feel free to refer to it before your next binge-watching marathon, or whether you have the munchies for 4:20-related reasons.

• Popcorn: Watching a screen isn't the same without this crunchy buttery snack, there's a reason why you buy an overpriced tub of popcorn when you go out to the movies.
• Ice Cream: Who hasn't lost themselves in a tub of Ben and Jerry's or Haggan Daz at one point?
• Cereal: The host of "Lip Sync Battle" and those "Broad City" chicks were on to something, ain't nothing' like a nice bowl of cereal to smooth you out. It's tasty, full of calcium, vitamins, and minerals (according to the commercials I remember from my youth on Saturday mornings), and as long as you know how to pour milk into a bowl, it's pretty hard to mess up. If you're curious about trying different combinations of cereal in a bowl but don't have multiple boxes of cereal on hand, head over to JAM Cereal, Ottawa's first cereal bar.  But if you do have any leftover Rice Krispies, why not use them to make...
• Rice Krispie squares: These have been a favourite since grade school. If you have to go to the store to buy the ingredients for it, save some time and grab a box of the premade ones unless you're a traditionalist with the patience to wait for them to cool when they come out of the oven.
• Shawarma: Thanks to the Ottawa influx of Lebanese immigrants in the seventies, this Ottawa specialty has been delighting drunks coming out of bars late at night for years. Slow-cooked meat, rolled into pita bread stuffed with various combinations of lettuce, hummus, tomatoes, onions, pickles, pickled turnips, topped with garlic sauce - it's strange it took a movie about superheroes for the rest of the world to discover how good this is.
• Nuts and seeds: Nuts are a healthy snack option as they are good sources of fibre and protein. Don't limit yourself to just peanuts (not an actual nut, they're a member of the legume family, but, whatever), mix it up with a can of mixed nuts. I love sunflower seeds as well; they don't taste the same if you don't pop them out of the shells yourself.
• Nutella: Fans of this chocolate-hazelnut spread have known for a long time about the joys of sticking a spoon straight into a jar of this stuff. Not only is it great on its own, but it can also be used as a dip for things like pretzel sticks, or globs of cookie dough, health concerns be damned.
• Doughnuts: With the options not limited to just Timmie's, these sugary treats aren't just for cops anymore. It's easy to go through a dozen of these things when they now can have bacon, Cocco Puffs, or M&M's baked on them.
• Ramen: You don't even have to cook ramen noodles to have them as a snack, ramen nerd Dave Chang has been known to take a bite from a brick of the instant-ramen noodles when hungry. If you insist on cooking it properly, the combinations you can create are only limited to what's in your fridge and pantry.
• Chinese Takeout: Perfect for when you're hungry and have no intention whatsoever to cook anything. And best of all, there's always leftovers for when you're hungry again.
• Nachos: Tortilla chips with cheese, salsa, chicken, jalapeños, onions, peppers, guacamole, and sour cream: nachos are the snack that eats like a meal.
• Pizza: It can be cold, in roll or pocket form, deep dish, with stuffed crust, or thin and crispy, pizza is a winner in any form. It's literally great any way you slice it.
• Chicken Wings: What's not to like about finger food that's also fried chicken? I dream of going to a buffet and grabbing the entire bin of crispy spicy goodness back to my seat and creating a pile of bones on a plate beside me.
• Gummi Worms: I like to freeze them to get the most out of their tangy sweetness; it's like eating sweet beef jerky.
• Potato Chips: Somehow pairing wine and potato chips became a thing thanks to those Miss Vickie's commercials. I'm sure you can justify how the acidity of the wine can play off the seasoning of the chip, but it seems like an unnecessary addition for fried thinly sliced potatoes.
• Girl Guide cookies: There's a reason Girl Guides make big sales when they set up outside of marijuana dispensaries, as these cookies always satisfy one's sweet tooth. I can't wait to see all the pearl-clutching and hand-wringing that will inevitably happen when some troop does in this in Ottawa.
  

Better Steaks With Meaty Food Hacks

After a winter that refuses to let go of its grip on the city, grillmasters are chomping at the bit to fire up their barbeques. With the chance of snow or rain constantly looming in the forecast, you may want to treat yourself to a dry-aged steak when you finally do get to cook outside.  Dry-aging removes moisture from a piece of meat and causes a breakdown of the muscle tissue - basically, this process causes your steak to decompose. As disgusting as this process may sound, it also tenderizes the meat, and gives it an amazing flavour. Aged steaks can be bought, or be made at home, but while you're waiting for the snow to melt, or the backyard to dry out in order to get to your grill, you can experiment with these cheaper and faster food hacks.

Mushrooms
Chefs who don't have the time to wait 30+ days for that extra burst of umami suggest you season your steak with mushroom powder. Get some dried porcinis or shiitakes and grind them up using a food processor or blender, then season your steak with it, along with some salt and black pepper. Wrap everything in plastic wrap and let the steak sit in the refrigerator until you're ready to cook it.

Koji
Koji is a rice grain that has been introduced with a live culture and is used in the making soy sauce and miso paste. When koji is added, the live culture helps break down the carbohydrates, amino acids, simple sugars, and proteins.  If the live culture is used to break down beans, it stands to reason it can be used to break down the connective tissue in your steak. As with the dried mushrooms, you will need to turn the koji (check your favourite Asian supermarket or order some online) into a powder and rub it all over your steak. Once that's done, put the steak on a plate and place it in your refrigerator for three days. This will cause your meat to become fuzzy in appearance, and leave a pungent smell in your fridge so you may want to place your steak in the crisper if you don't want to deal with the smell, or in a separate refrigerator like your beer fridge (give the fridge good cleaning while you're at it). After three days, rinse all the koji from the meat, pat it dry, and then season it with salt and pepper as normal.

Fish Sauce
This hack takes longer than the others but is one used by Nathan Myhrvold of "Modernist Cuisine" fame, so you know it's legit.  Place your steak in a Ziploc bag, pour in about 15 mL of fish sauce per steak to coat the meat, then seal the bag as tightly as possible, getting out as much air as you can; if you have access to a vacuum sealer, now would be the time to use it. Put the meat in the refrigerator for three days. Take the steak out of the bag, wrap it tightly in cheesecloth, then put it back in the fridge for another three days. Season the meat all over with salt and pepper when it's time to cook.

Blue Cheese
As good as fish sauce is for replicating the rich funky flavour of an aged steak, blue cheese can also be used. Lay a sheet of plastic wrap on a baking sheet, then place an equal-sized piece of cheesecloth on top. Place your steak on the cheesecloth. Fold a thin layer of the cheesecloth over the steaks, then top with some crumbled blue cheese. Fold over the plastic wrap to secure the cheese on top, then refrigerate the wrapped steaks overnight. When it's time to cook,  unwrap the steaks, take off the blue cheese, and pat the steaks dry with paper towels before seasoning both sides of the steak with salt and pepper. You now have steak that is ready for cooking and some blue cheese to use in a sauce for them when it's time to eat.

Ingredients: Blue Cheese Sauce

180 mL heavy cream
35 mL Worcestershire sauce
140 g blue cheese
15 g unsalted butter
1 shallot, sliced
3 g kosher salt
3 g coarsely ground black pepper

1. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Add the shallots and cook until golden brown, about 2 to 3 minutes.
2. Stir in the cream and Worcestershire sauce and cook for another minute. Add the salt, pepper and blue cheese and stir well. Just as the cheese begins to melt, remove from the heat.
   
   To serve, spoon the sauce over the steaks or whatever else needs blue cheese added to it.

Working My Way Through 'The Works': Barking at My Cow

A popular gimmick for food blogs is to eat and review every item on a restaurant's menu. This blog is no exception, as these are the observations I've had while eating my way through the burger menu of The Works, a Canadian burger restaurant with locations across Ottawa and Ontario.

The WORKS Orleans (900 Watters Road)
Burger Description: "Smoked brisket, Barking Squirrel Beer BBQ sauce, caramelized onions, jack cheese & bacon"
($17.27)

The Barking at My Cow

March 6, 2019
Most of the burgers I've eaten at The Works have been from this location. I wouldn't say I'm a regular here though. Once my family and I walked out after being ignored in an empty restaurant on a lazy afternoon. I vented to management, they apologized, and after a couple of months, I went back. Because you got to give a place you like a second chance; like their customers, restaurants have their off moments. I arrived for this meal at around 12:30, and was surprised at how busy it was for a place tucked away in the suburbs. I'll have to remember to get here earlier, this was the crowd I excepted for lunch at the Glebe location. Twenty minutes later, my Barking at My Cow lunch arrived. My first bite was juicy, with the brisket layer an excellent companion to the beef patty. The bacon added a salty, crunchy texture that is always a welcoming addition. I usually go with cheddar when it comes to cheese on a hamburger, but I was fine with the Monterey Jack. As BBQ sauces go, Barking Squirrel makes great beer, though the sauce's spiciness did blend nicely with the sweetness of the onions. Everything about this burger worked for me. This is what you want when you go out to a fancy hamburger joint. I would have loved to have paired a pint my meal with a Barking Squirrel lager but I was teleworking, and I don't drink on the job. Of all the burgers I've eaten here, and of the two I've written about, this is the best I've had to date.

5 out of 5 stars - The burger every other burger will be judged against; this is the measuring stick.

Best song heard while eating: The Who, "I Can See For Miles"

How To Celebrate Pi Day Without Baking

Mathematicians have been telling us for centuries that pi is the symbol used to represent the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter, just as bakers for centuries have been telling us that pie is a baked dish made with a pastry dough casing that covers or completely contains a sweet or savoury filling. On March 14, Pi Day is celebrated, allowing math and dessert fans to indulge in their love of both. You don't have to be good at math to take part in the fun, nor do you have to have amazing baking skills to take part. With this recipe below, you'll have ample time to calculate the area of all the circles in your home to your heart's content.

Ingredients:

480 mL heavy cream
15 mL fresh lemon juice
260 g graham cracker crumbs
100 g blueberries
100 g raspberries
100 g unsalted butter, melted
50 g sugar (use first)
25 g sugar
1 can (415 mL) sweetened condensed milk, chilled
1 can frozen lemonade concentrate (do not thaw)

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F (176 °C). In a medium-sized bowl, combine the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and the melted butter. Press the mixture firmly on the bottom and up the sides of a 23 cm pie pan. Bake for 7 minutes and let it cool completely.
   (Note: This step can be skipped completely if you use a pre-made graham cracker pie crust and follow the instructions that come with it.)
2. In a cold medium-sized bowl, whip the cream until stiff peaks begin to form. In another bowl, mix together the condensed milk and the frozen lemonade. Gently fold the lemonade mixture into the whipped cream, then pour the filling into the crust. Stick the pie in the freezer and let it for 4 hours or freeze overnight.
3. About an hour before you're ready to serve the pie, toss the berries in a bowl with the sugar and the lemon juice. Set them aside until you ready to serve the pie. Let the pie come to room temperature for at least 10 minutes before cutting, then top each slice with the berries.