Carpe Diem Eating - The Land Sea and Air Burger

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."

Mark Twain

Carpe Diem Eating is about food combinations that shouldn't work but do; food creations that work so well, you're amazed they haven't been done before; and food creations so extravagant and extreme that you owe it to yourself to at least try it once. Today, the focus is on the various customer-created food hacks of the posted menu offerings at certain restaurants, such as...

The Land Sea and Air Burger

Description: This burger is comprised of every McDonald's protein - beef (the Land), fish (the Sea), and chicken (the Air).

Creation: Order a Big Mac, a Filet-O-Fish, and a McChicken. Put the McChicken and Filet-O-Fish patties inside the Big Mac along with however many buns you want, depending on how wide your mouth can open.

Cost: $14.87, plus tax; extra if you order fries with all that.

Comments: Thirty minutes afterward, I felt stuffed and slightly queasy from the tartar sauce - yes, I'm blaming the tartar sauce. Recommended for anyone needing to satisfy a large craving for Mickey D's.

Kick Your Ketchup Up A Notch

Now that the Great Cauliflower Panic has subsided, Canadians are now abuzz about another vegetable, specifically about a product made from it. Thanks to a Facebook post that went viral, and a social media induced reversal of a decision to stop carrying the product in one of the country's largest grocery chains, people can't get enough of French's ketchup. When rival Heinz closed its plant in Ontario in 2014, and French's decided to go into the ketchup business to fill the void, the idea of buying a quality product made with homegrown ingredients, while keeping Canadians working, was made all the more appealing. With Primo Foods now claiming their brand of ketchup is more Canadian than the others on the market, the ketchup one uses is quickly becoming a source of pride, and a badge of honour. For those who need more than nationalism to make their ketchup better, the infographic and recipes below show several ways to upgrade everyone's favourite condiment.

Indian Spiced

120 mL ketchup

40 g onion

14 mL canola oil

2.5 g curry powder

1. In a small pan, heat the canola oil over medium flame. Add the onion and sauté until browned. 
2. Combine all ingredients in a food processor, and pulse until blended.

Suggested use: Try it on roasted fingerling potatoes.

Bloody Mary

120 mL ketchup

5 mL Tabasco

5 g prepared horseradish

2.5 g celery salt

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor, and pulse until blended. 

Suggested use: Try it on eggs and home fries.

Mexican

120 mL ketchup

30 mL hot sauce

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor, and pulse until blended. 

Suggested use: Try it on huevos rancheros.

Secret Sauce

75 mL ketchup

75 mL brown mustard

75 mL mayonnaise

3 cornichons (small pickled gherkins), minced

1. In a medium bowl, fold ketchup, brown mustard, and mayonnaise together using a rubber spatula. 
2. Add in cornichons and mix until evenly distributed. 

Suggested use: Try it on veggie and beef burgers.

Chipotle Lime

120 mL ketchup

7-ounce can chipotles in adobo, drained

2.5 mL lime juice

1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender.

Suggested use: Try it alongside sweet potato fries.

Truffled

120 mL ketchup

30 mL black truffle oil

1. Pour ketchup and truffle oil into a medium bowl. Whisk until thoroughly combined. 

Suggested use: Try it alongside roasted potatoes or Tater Tots.

Southern

120 mL ketchup

75 g chopped onions

14 mL canola oil

10 g brown sugar

5 mL liquid smoke

1. In a small saucepan over a medium flame, heat canola oil. Add onions and sauté until browned. 
2. Pour onions, ketchup, brown sugar, and liquid smoke into food processor and pulse until onions are mostly (but not completely) pureed. 

Suggested use: Try it on a black bean burger.

Sweet + Sour

120 mL ketchup

60 mL apple cider vinegar

50 g brown sugar

1. Pour all of the ingredients into a medium bowl, and whisk until thoroughly combined. 

Suggested use: Try it over the top of cooked meatloaf.

Cherry Pepper

120 mL ketchup

113 g pitted halved cherries

1.25 g freshly cracked black pepper

1. Pour all of the ingredients into a food processor and pulse until smooth. 

Suggested use: Try it as a glaze for grilled chicken.

Carpe Diem Eating - Desserts Stuffed in Other Desserts

Carpe diem is a Latin saying that is usually translated to mean "seize the day", and interpreted to mean make the most out of the time you have by doing something extraordinary - YOLO, as the kids used to say. Carpe Diem Eating is about food combinations that shouldn't work but do; food creations that work so well, you're amazed they haven't been done before; and food creations so extravagant and extreme that you owe it to yourself to try it. This leads me to a poker game I regularly attend. Two of the best home cooks I know were there, and as the chip stacks rose and fell at a recent game, the conversation turned to one of their attempts at making the dessert sensation known as the pake, or piecakein - a pie baked into a cake. Jay, the game's host, had tried to make a coconut cream pie inside a Swiss chocolate cake, with a plan to do the same but with a Devil's food cake the following weekend. He said the coconut pie would have been better if he had pre-baked the pie crust to better support everything as it had sunk during the baking process. Tim, the other cook, suggested using a pie with a top crust for better results. Soon all sorts of tasty combinations were being through about: a caramelized banana pie inside a peanut butter cake; apple pie inside a spice cake; strawberry rhubarb pie inside a lemon cake; coconut cream pie in a pineapple upside-down cake. I was fascinated listening to this, mostly because I do very little baking at my house, and also because I was looking at a 7-4 off-suit at the time, with the blinds at 800 and 1600, a dwindling stack in front of me, and hitting nothing on the flop. Both insisted making the pie/cake combo was as easy as finding a recipe for your favourite pie, and baking a cake around it using your favourite box of cake mix, and the method did remind me of a dessert I have tried in the past from the Vulgar Chef's "Eat Like Shit Cookbook".  I like it because my baking skills are not to the point I can bake a pie on a whim, and the pre-baked goods I use as the substitute are just as good. Here is the recipe, edited for those who don't need the shock value of profanity in order to cook.

Oreo and Peanut Butter Stuffed Red Velvet Cupcakes

Ingredients

• 1 box red velvet cake mix
• 1 package OREO^® cookies
• 1 jar peanut butter

1. Mix the red velvet cake mix according to the instructions on the box (I like to use milk instead of water, and substitute melted butter for the cooking oil). 
2. Drop a small amount of the cake mix into the slots on your muffin pan.
3. Cover an OREO^® with some peanut butter. Stack another cookie on top of it and cover that with some peanut butter as well. Drop the cookies into one of the slots on your muffin pan. Cover with more red velvet cake mix (completely) and bake according to the instructions on the box. To make sure they are fully cooked, stick a toothpick in the cupcake- if it comes out clean, you're good to go.

Osso Buko - Irish Cuisine By Way of Preston Street

For this upcoming St. Patrick's Day, I've decided to make a dish from one of my favourite cookbooks, "The 4-Hour Chef ". It takes two Irish staples, lamb and carrots, combined with a savory Italian flavour. I'm sure there are some who would take offense at that combination, and hopefully, it's because the recipe doesn't use the traditional veal. If it's for another reason, tough. You're missing out on a great dish that practically impossible to mess up.


Ingredients

4 lamb shanks, about 340 g each
1 bag carrots
1 can whole San Marzano tomatoes
5 garlic cloves, or 10-15 g garlic powder
250 mL dry white wine (about a third of a bottle; try not to use anything too sweet)
30 mL extra-virgin olive oil
salt and pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F (180°C). Thaw out the frozen lamb shanks, and peel and chop the carrots. Arrange the carrots in a pot, preferably a Dutch oven, and place the lamb shanks on top of them.
2. Open the can of tomatoes, and squish the tomatoes. Add them to the pot, then add the garlic. Drizzle everything with the olive oil, and pour enough of the wine to cover half to three-quarters of the meat - do not cover the meat completely, as you are braising the meat.
3. Season with salt and pepper. Cover the pot and cook for two hours.
4. Serve with either your favourite red wine or with a pint of Guinness.

The Foodie Handbook vs. How to Be a Better Foodie

People who call themselves foodies love showing how their love and knowledge of food is that much better than everyone else's. They pride themselves on being able to recommend a good restaurant within walking distance of any location without the need of an app; they know their way around a farmer's market better than the people selling produce there; their pantries are stocked and organized with almost military precision. But things like knowing how to cook, choosing the right wine, and trying lots of new and different foods takes time. How does one become a "true foodie", as opposed to being someone who just likes chewing and swallowing different edibles?  For those who want to fine tune their foodie credibility, there are two books available they can help them be all that they want to be. Popular food blogger Pim Techamuanvivit's "The Foodie Handbook: The (Almost) Definitive Guide to Gastronomy" is a great showcase for her knowledge of food, acquired by years of travelling the globe, trying and tasting lots of different foods, and writing about her experiences for such publications as the New York Times, Food & Wine Magazine, and Bon Appétit magazine. You may never have the funds to go to the French Laundry, but you can learn how to make the most of a visit there if the opportunity ever comes up by reading about Techamuanvivit's time at the famed eatery. For a more step-by-step approach to being a foodie, there is also Sudi Pigott's "How to Be a Better Foodie: A Bulging Little Book for the Truly Epicurious". Pigott also comes from a literary background, with her extensive knowledge of food shown in articles in The Sunday Telegraph, and in Seasoned by Chefs Food Magazine, and with appearances on BBC Radio 4 and London Live TV. Her book is such a wealth of information for both beginner and experienced gourmets that it can come off as a book parodying the pretentiousness that is associated with being a foodie. There will be a lot of eye-rolling when you read either of these books. Anyone hoping to learn to become a better foodie on a middle-class budget and without the access both authors have to top-level chefs will be disappointed. But if having to eat at a chain restaurant is something you, or someone you know considers unacceptable, either of these books would be a welcome addition to a library or reading list.

• The Foodie Handbook: The (Almost) Definitive Guide to Gastronomy by Techamuanvivit, Pim (2009) Paperback
• How to Be a Better Foodie: A Bulging Little Book for the Truly Epicurious

Detox and Retox - Yoga On Tap at the Ottawa Winter Brewfest

A lot of people practice yoga in order to free their minds from the distractions that normally occupy it; a lot of people drink beer for the same reason. Yoga classes followed by a pint of beer have become a hot new pairing at breweries throughout the city and the country. While you may think the beer would offset any of yoga's positive effects, sipping a pint may have more health advantages than you think, according to a recent study published in the Journal of Cereal Science. And who doesn't like a cold one after working your muscles hard? I first heard of the trend when I saw one of my favourite craft breweries, Dominion City Brewing, hosted YOGA ON TAP last year, that featured a session that offered an all levels accessible yoga class, followed by a tour of the brewery and some beer tasting. It was too late for me to attend that event, but I managed to get into the session happening at the sold-out Winter Brewfest at Lansdowne Park today. It was -28 Celsius leaving the house this morning, with a windchill of way too cold to be out if you don't have to. I thought I could warm myself up on the frigid walk from my parking spot to the Horticulture Building by convincing myself I was attending a hot yoga class but it didn't help. Once I registered and started to defrost, I made my way to the front to set up. I'd say there were about 30-35 people in attendance, with more women than men, about a five-to-one ratio. Our instructor, Ashley, soon welcomed us to the class and won everyone over with her enthusiastic attitude, and the announcement that she was cool with people drinking beer while she led us through the routine. Her approach to the class was it was just her inviting us in to join her as she drank beer while she practised yoga, and that life is a gift that we should all enjoy. I appreciated the commitment to work-life balance, but I would need to take more yoga classes to get the full benefits of it. I was too busy getting my body into the proper form, and worrying if my breathing was correct to get any of the mental or spiritual aspects. But by the end of the session, I was relaxed enough to enjoy some beer. Ashley then led everyone through a beer tasting, and her knowledge of beer is on par with her knowledge of yoga. The standout of the samplings offered was the Unf stout from local brewers whiprsnapr, full of dark chocolate, black cherry, and espresso flavours. With a focus on one's well being, and one's community, YOGA ON TAP was a good time for everyone, whether you come out for the yoga or for the beer.

Wintertime and Fried Dough

Back in 1979, someone at the NCC realized that in order to enjoy Ottawa's brutal winters, you needed a reason to celebrate them. Inspired by 1922's Canadian National Winter Carnival, Winterlude is one of city's biggest tourist and event draws, with features like the world famous Rideau Canal Skateway, the ice sculptures at the Crystal Garden in Confederation Park, and the Snowflake Kingdom in Gatineau's Jacques-Cartier Park. But to some, the true highlight of the festival is the opportunity to eat a BeaverTail. Paired with a hot beverage, this pastry makes being in the cold bearable for all but the more hardcore hibernators. If you're that winter adverse, you can try one of the many fried dough recipes out there that try to replicate the popular winter treat. This is one that recently caught my eye; please note that this is no substitute for the real thing.

Ingredients

120 mL warm water
80 mL warm milk
80 mL oil
5 mL vanilla
625 g self rising flour
25 g dry yeast
17 g sugar
7.5 g salt
0.35 g pinch sugar (a pinch)
2 eggs
Vegetable oil for frying
Cinnamon sugar

1. In a large mixing bowl, stir together the yeast, warm water and the pinch of sugar. Allow the mixture to stand a couple of minutes to allow yeast to swell and dissolve. Stir in remaining sugar, milk, vanilla, eggs, oil, salt and most of flour to make a soft dough.
2. Knead 5-8 minutes (by hand or with your food processor's dough hook attachment), adding flour as needed to form a firm, smooth, elastic dough. Place the dough in a greased bowl, and place the bowl in a plastic bag and seal it (the dough can be refrigerated at this point if you're not planning to use it right away). Let it rise for about 30-40 minutes.
3. Gently deflate dough (if dough is coming out of the fridge, allow to warm up about 40 minutes before proceeding) by pinching off a golf ball sized piece of dough. Roll it out into an oval and let it rest, covered with a tea towel while you are preparing the remaining dough.
4. Stretch the ovals into the familiar tail shape, thinning them out and enlarging them as desired. Heat about 5 cm of oil in your vessel of choice. After a few minutes, drop a little dough in the oil. If it sizzles and browns up, then the oil is ready. Add the dough pieces to the hot oil, about 1-2 at a time. Turn once to fry until the undersides are deep brown. DO NOT WALK AWAY FROM THE STOVE as they burn quickly.
5. Lift the fried dough out with tongs and drain on paper towels. Immediately toss the tails in cinnamon sugar and shake off any excess.